Etiquette

Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???

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Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???

  • OP -

    I think this is a good lesson for you in "what you write will dictate the type of responses you get."  You indicated that you preferred them to get their hair/make up done and that you may give this to them as their gift.  You also indicated that you are paying for your own wedding and that you don't have the money for this

    People advised you against that.  And you didn't get sympathy for paying for your own wedding.

    You then indicated that you would most likely be able to tell the difference if some did and some didn't.

    People then proved you wrong.

    Your tone in the OP and subsequent posts dictated how the other posters responded.  If you think they jumped down your throat, you could have easily posted this question originally to avoid the whole mess, "I was thinking of getting hair/make up done for myself and my bridesmaids.  Who usually pays for this?"  You would have received the exact same answers without some of the "snark."

    Also, spelling correctly helps a ton.
  • emarston - you said it best.  
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  • Lesson learned. That's what I get for writing my first post.

    Rough crowd.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:af3caee2-0de3-4e91-b40c-11249096b98d">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lesson learned. That's what I get for writing my first post. Rough crowd.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    Well everyone had a first post, thats how you start. I'm just here to make random comments that amuse myself. Don't take it personally.
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  • I'm not sure your story helped much. You seem to imply that it would be obvious that a bride would be pissed that a bridesmaids hair went downhill and makeup smeared before the reception. That's truly not a bride's concern, and shouldn't be yours either.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:f8ac953c-8a92-40b3-b20c-0db60c4d482f">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is bizarre. All I was asking is what do most girls do in this situation.  I have no idea how I came off as some sort of bridezilla, I was merely trying to ask what is the most polite way of going about this. I have been a bridesmaid where  1 of the other girls did not get their makeup done professionally and that 1 bridesmaids hair was falling apart and her makeup was smearing before the reception even started, so obviously the bride was not happy. The bridesmaid was bratty because she admitted that she put no effort in it and the bride became furious. They ended up fighting over a situation that was completely shallow and ridiculous and are no longer friends. They both were being petty and looked what happened. The bridesmaid was being ridiculous because she assumed the bride was going to pay for the service, and the bride handle it wrong by going crazy on the bridesmaid.   So a situation that is not a big deal turned out being major drama. I know that my bridesmaids can do their makeup and I think they are all beautiful. They are defiantly nothing like the girls mentioned above. All I was asking was what is the standard practice when it comes to hair and makeup, because I have heard just about every situation. Sheesh.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    ...then don't throw a shitfit if someone's hair/makeup doesn't meet your standards?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:08849ad1-9569-42cf-aedb-e28dc05496ce">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm definitely not requiring it, I can't see how you can make someone do anything. I would just prefer it because you can usually tell in pictures when someone has had their makeup done professionally.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    None of my girls, or myself, had professional makeup, and the pictures look beautiful. I think that statement is a lame excuse for you just wanting it to be done. No one is going to notice but you.
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  • You should probably just pay if you want it professionally done.
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  • I'm not voting because I don't think you should be requiring it at all.  They're having financial difficulty, you're having financial difficulty, and it's a ridiculous thing to require when it's totally unnecessary.
  • LD1970LD1970 member
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    I'm not voting because I don't think you should be requiring it at all.  They're having financial difficulty, you're having financial difficulty, and it's a ridiculous thing to require when it's totally unnecessary.
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  • Agree with consensus. If mandetory, paid for by bride/groom. If optional, bridesmaids can pay for it if they want. But it's DEFINITELY not a gift. Nothing intended FOR the wedding is a gift.
  • we paid for the bridesmaids hair and makeup.  It wasn't required but we thought it would be fun to have the morning all together getting ready
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_paying-bridesmaids-hair-makeup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1056e535-36da-405f-b8f9-fc5011dfae6ePost:f8ac953c-8a92-40b3-b20c-0db60c4d482f">Re: Paying for Bridesmaids hair and makeup???</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>This is bizarre.</strong> All I was asking is what do most girls do in this situation.  I have no idea how I came off as some sort of bridezilla, I was merely trying to ask what is the most polite way of going about this. I have been a bridesmaid where  1 of the other girls did not get their makeup done professionally and that 1 bridesmaids hair was falling apart and her makeup was smearing before the reception even started, <strong>so obviously the bride was not happy</strong>. The bridesmaid was bratty because she admitted that she put no effort in it and the bride became furious. They ended up fighting over a situation that was completely shallow and ridiculous and <strong>are no longer friends.</strong> They both were being petty and looked what happened. The bridesmaid was being ridiculous because she assumed the bride was going to pay for the service, and the bride handle it wrong by going crazy on the bridesmaid.   So a situation that is not a big deal turned out being major drama. I know that my bridesmaids can do their makeup and I think they are all beautiful. They are <strong>defiantly</strong> nothing like the girls mentioned above. All I was asking was what is the standard practice when it comes to hair and makeup, because I have heard just about every situation. Sheesh.
    Posted by ashleyl911[/QUOTE]

    Honestly, as I read through this, I thought for a moment that you were being unfairly attacked. But you sound extremely shallow, and your grammar certainly does NOT help your credibility.

    You actually know people whose friendship fell apart over the bridesmaid not looking perfect on the wedding day?!?!? I don't even know where to begin. There is probably nothing I can say that will connect with your reasoning! Just...ewww!!!! You choose your bridesmaids because you LOVE them, and you want them standing next to you during one of the biggest and most important moments in your life!!! How they look is completely irrelevant. Sure, you should all agree on some level about what they will WEAR to your wedding. Beyond that, you're a complete ass if you care that they don't look the way you think they should in the pictures.

    I can't believe you think this is standard, or even a little bit okay. But to answer your question, you absolutely cannot require anyone to have their hair/makeup/nails done, but if you want it done, pay for it and don't think you're doing anyone any favors. Yikes.
  • the only way you could get away with the gift option is to get your makeup done at The Body Shop, they offer a service that allows you to pay $50 for your makeup to be done, but then they allow you to choose $50 in makeup to take home, most stores are leniant and if your BM doesn't wear makeup she can likely get something else for herself with her $50
    as for their hair, if they want it done, they can pay for it, if you want it done, you pay for it
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