Wedding Etiquette Forum

Not Inviting Family?

I'm new to the board, so I'm hoping this is in the right section.

My FI has a sister who neither of us get along with. It would take a long time to even type up how she is. But, she makes very nasty, rude comments to the both of us every time we see her, and for no reason. We've both done everything we can think of to get along with her, but to no avail. We've even had a family meeting with her and their parents to figure out something, or to at least get her to learn to bite her tongue. She also harasses one of my younger sisters in school. And I have another sister who tends to lash out (she was sent away to a school and put on medication due to the extremities) and has expressed on more than one occasion that she doesn't even want to see FSIL. We're both (FI and I) very against her being at the wedding, but FI's parents would undoubtably be more than upset. Another thing is that she is still a minor (by a year), and lives at home with Mum and Dad, so it makes things even more complicated. How wrong would it be to not invite her? If we both agreed not to, does that make me a bridezilla?

Another issue we're having is that we're having a formal, evening wedding and it's not particularly a place for children. There are some cousins on both sides we're very close to, and others that would without a doubt misbehave. Since it's not in our budget or room (FI and I are paying for it ourselves) to invite all the kids (12+) and have a separate area or room for them to be, we decided to have an adults-only reception. But now both families are upset about it. Some of the parents may not want to come if their kids cannot. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this situation? Whether it be a way to bring the kids to the wedding, or a way to explain it to the parents so that they still come?
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