What's the protocol for this?

jayetheartist

So, there's been some family drama recently over our wedding (same sex wedding, dad's a minister), and apparently my brother and his wife are adamantly opposed and told my parents that they don't want to attend.  They haven't said anything to me, so I'm just getting info secondhand, although I'm guessing it's true since my SIL opted not to come to a girls' night out we had last night.  Honestly, I'm a little surprised at the reaction, but if they don't want to come I'm fine with that.

The wedding is still a year away, but now I'm wondering what to do if this issue doesn't resolve itself.  Under other circumstances I feel like the answer would be to send invites to everyone in the family and let them decide whether or not to come.  I understand that some people aren't going to be comfortable attending, and I don't want those people to attend if they're going to bring down the mood of the day.  I certainly am not going to shun members of the family if they don't come.  So I don't want to take them off the invite list and seem like I'm snubbing them.  But my mother has already accused me of "tearing the family apart" by "throwing my wedding plans in everyone's faces," so I don't want to send them an invite if it's going to seem like I'm trying to push an agenda.  And I just have this feeling this isn't the last time this issue is going to come up between now and invite time.

To send or not to send...  Help?