FFF

mkrupar

Did anything happen this week?

The only thing I've got is CMGr yesterday in this thread:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bored-10

I'm going to totally ignore the whole posting a thread thinking we're going to get amusement out of the etiquette faux pas on another board, and calling a commitment ceremony a "fake wedding".

My issue is with the herpes conversation. First she compares getting herpes from and ex-FI with her friend's ex-FI who got his ex-wife pregnant. When people pointed out it was completely different because her friend could walk away with no constant reminder. Herpes girl has to deal with that for the rest of her life. A reminder every time an outbreak happens.

When that happened her next comment was, "Well at least it wasn't HIV." You're right, it's not HIV, but it's not a fvcking competition. The poor girl has herpes. Talking about how it coule be worse isn't going to make that any better.

abbalish

I had one the other day but now I can't remember it

StephBeanWed61502

Dammit MK!  I'm the second one here and my flame was still already stolen!  :-)

(It was the herpes thing - misfortune isn't a competition, and "it could be worse" is probably not comforting when you're in the middle of a herpes outbreak.)

StephBeanWed61502

FFF is broken.  Figures.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:dc308ef0-7caf-42e9-9377-d96fcf542954">FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Did anything happen this week? The only thing I've got is CMGr yesterday in this thread: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bored-10">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bored-10</a> I'm going to totally ignore the whole posting a thread thinking we're going to get amusement out of the etiquette faux pas on another board, and calling a commitment ceremony a "fake wedding". My issue is with the herpes conversation. First she compares getting herpes from and ex-FI with her friend's ex-FI who got his ex-wife pregnant. When people pointed out it was completely different because her friend could walk away with no constant reminder. Herpes girl has to deal with that for the rest of her life. A reminder every time an outbreak happens. When that happened her next comment was, "Well at least it wasn't HIV." You're right, it's not HIV, but it's not a fvcking competition. The poor girl has herpes. Talking about how it coule be worse isn't going to make that any better.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

chelseamb11

I know I'm cheating by flaming something I previously flamed, but that girl on CC this week who was asking why people are still here if they aren't planning a wedding really struck a nerve with me.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:dc308ef0-7caf-42e9-9377-d96fcf542954">FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]First she compares getting herpes from and ex-FI with her friend's ex-FI who got his ex-wife pregnant. When people pointed out it was completely different because her friend could walk away with no constant reminder. Herpes girl has to deal with that for the rest of her life. A reminder every time an outbreak happens.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
Wait. I didn't see any of this, but was the comment that the herpes girl is the one that could walk away without the constant reminder, and the other one couldn't?

Because I'm seeing reality as being totally the opposite.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:433924f2-9edf-4c40-a08e-78ff766fcaa7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I know I'm cheating by flaming something I previously flamed, but that girl on CC this week who was asking why people are still here if they aren't planning a wedding really struck a nerve with me.
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

I don't get all up in arms about this. My H asks me this same question every day. Usually when it's said people are just grasping at straws at that point.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:d39cfda8-862f-483c-aa04-966ff5e79f75">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Cross board flame, but whatevs. I flame Dot for the holyoverreaction to Duds responding to her wine thread. Dumbest thing to get "irked by" that I've seen on TK I think.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

I mostly lurk instead of posting on SB, but Dot seems a little... tense.

chelseamb11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:d39cfda8-862f-483c-aa04-966ff5e79f75">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Cross board flame, but whatevs. I flame Dot for the holyoverreaction to Duds responding to her wine thread. Dumbest thing to get "irked by" that I've seen on TK I think.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

And then when someone flamed her for it, she said something (I can't remember what) that insinuated you can't be irked by something if it has nothing to do with you. I didn't get that.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:a718ade0-b0cb-47d6-9c5c-1ca3bd34aa93">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : FTFY!
Posted by djhar[/QUOTE]

<img class="rg_i" src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/b64-images/641f8bc4b9ba9cdf43b1494d39934f95b57eaacd.jpg" alt="" width="189" height="82" />

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:0fe3ce07-f342-4123-8975-a2766530fcab">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to FFF : Wait. I didn't see any of this, but was the comment that the herpes girl is the one that could walk away without the constant reminder, and the other one couldn't? Because I'm seeing reality as being totally the opposite.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

No, the herpes girl is the one that CAN'T walk away without any reminder. The friend who's ex-FI got his ex-wife pregnant breaks it off with FI and other than probably being heartbroken she doesn't have the constant reminder of what happened. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I think we're saying the same thing though.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:32e1712a-3494-455d-aaab-81ceea680bca">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : No, the herpes girl is the one that CAN'T walk away without any reminder. The friend who's ex-FI got his ex-wife pregnant breaks it off with FI and other than probably being heartbroken she doesn't have the constant reminder of what happened. Sorry if I wasn't clear. I think we're saying the same thing though.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]
OK, yeah, I think we're saying the same thing.

button6004

I know I'm relatively new, but can I flame the people on CC who are perpetuating/encouraging the herpes OP's naive assumption that her fiance gave her herpes from engaging in the orgy? I just dont buy that he has never done anything sketchy like that before and that it all happened so quickly. I may not post a lot, but I do lurk, and I just call MUD on it.

tpender13

=( I was really excited to see that I stumbled upon FFF when there was only 4 posts, so I was early enough to participate, but now I see that TK is still wonky and I can't actually see anything. Boo!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:a4982e7e-49ba-4942-99df-0a959ce61a3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I know I'm relatively new, but can I flame the people on CC who are perpetuating/encouraging the herpes OP's naive assumption that her fiance gave her herpes from engaging in the orgy? I just dont buy that he has never done anything sketchy like that before and that it all happened so quickly. I may not post a lot, but I do lurk, and I just call MUD on it.
Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]


Wow... it's been a while since I've been to that thread.  Wtf.

Oh hai, I'm just here to flame TK and its wonky self.  Whatever.

SunriseAmber

Um yeah don't you know we can't do the FFF or AYG any more. TK goes craycray.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:a4982e7e-49ba-4942-99df-0a959ce61a3c">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I know I'm relatively new, but can I flame the people on CC who are perpetuating/encouraging the herpes OP's naive assumption that her fiance gave her herpes from engaging in the orgy? I just dont buy that he has never done anything sketchy like that before and that it all happened so quickly. I may not post a lot, but I do lurk, and I just call MUD on it.
Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]

I see what you're saying, and I thought about saying something, but on the off chance the OP <em>is</em> a real person, her world was just completely shattered - why add insult to injury by telling her "Hey, idiot!  You got herpes <em>because he's been cheating on you for ages</em>, and not from the orgy!"? 

[Deleted User]

I flame people who call MUD. Even if something is MUD, it's usually either entertaining or sad. If it's entertaining, why not play along? And if it's sad, there is a chance that it's not MUD, so why make the person feel worse?

And mostly people who call MUD because it thinks it makes them look smart or something are annoying.

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:e4f5f499-276a-45b5-b666-d3612814afec">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I see what you're saying, and I thought about saying something, but on the off chance the OP is a real person, her world was just completely shattered - why add insult to injury by telling her "Hey, idiot!  You got herpes because he's been cheating on you for ages , and not from the orgy!"? 
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Nobody called her an idiot, but she just seemed convinced that the night of the party was the only time something like this had happened. She needed to stop denying that the dude is a d-bag. Someone doesn't go from being a good partner and a stand-up guy to going behind his FI's back and sleeping with her friends overnight.

chelseamb11

Oh I remember which one I was forgetting.  FutureMrsMiller and her backtracking thread about only inviting the SO's of guests who have been in that relationship for 3 months, but then trying to cover her butt and say ALL of the SO's are invited.

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:e4f5f499-276a-45b5-b666-d3612814afec">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I see what you're saying, and I thought about saying something, but on the off chance the OP is a real person, her world was just completely shattered - why add insult to injury by telling her "Hey, idiot!  You got herpes because he's been cheating on you for ages , and not from the orgy!"? 
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

That was my thought process too.

Unfortunately I think that one is real.  If it was a troll, she probably would have been defending her FI, etc. 

Sometimes I think people are too quick to call MUD.

StephBeanWed61502

Occasionally when I refresh this, a different thread shows up, with all the posts that haven't posted in the "real" thread - it's like TK has created a shadow-thread or something.  It's very bizarre. 

josephwedding

I second AATB's TK flame. Makes threads difficult to follow

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:45898372-bf43-4969-9720-87f07a8c2062">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Occasionally when I refresh this, a different thread shows up, with all the posts that haven't posted in the "real" thread - it's like TK has created a shadow-thread or something.  It's very bizarre. 
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it's weird.

baystateapple

I WISH that STD thread was MUD.  I do think that it's real though, which is so incredibly sad.

I hate it when people say "At least it's not ________" in any case when someone is upset about something.  Who are you to judge levels of misery?

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:e4f5f499-276a-45b5-b666-d3612814afec">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I see what you're saying, and I thought about saying something, but on the off chance the OP is a real person, her world was just completely shattered - why add insult to injury by telling her "Hey, idiot!  You got herpes because he's been cheating on you for ages , and not from the orgy!"? 
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Let's try this again...

She needed to realize that the guy is a d-bag. A person doesn't go from being a stand-up guy and a good partner to sleeping with his FI's friends behind her back overnight.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:6ff54299-4a2d-4ea1-bed6-0a9e7410e5be">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Let's try this again... She needed to realize that the guy is a d-bag. A person doesn't go from being a stand-up guy and a good partner to sleeping with his FI's friends behind her back overnight.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

She <em>did</em> realize he was a d-bag though.  She clearly stated she was through with him and with her so-called "friends" who were involved.  There was no hint in her posts that she was even remotely considering getting back together with him.  Since she was clearly done with him (at least, it was clear to me), I guess I just didn't see the point in making her feel even worse. 

button6004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:6ff54299-4a2d-4ea1-bed6-0a9e7410e5be">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Let's try this again... She needed to realize that the guy is a d-bag. A person doesn't go from being a stand-up guy and a good partner to sleeping with his FI's friends behind her back overnight.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

That's pretty much what I thought.  I do feel bad for her and I'm glad she was strong enough to immediately end it and move out.  But I feel like its wrong to let her think that she absolutely got this disease from this one incident, ESPECIALLY in the event that days/weeks/months from now she even remotely considers rekindling the relationship.  It might not be all rainbows and butterflies, but she owes it to herself to know that he was not just a drunken idiot this one time and how important it will be for her to truly move on from him after what he has done.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fff-86?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13154e6c-5cad-4cb7-a8ce-6310cf789d56Post:6ff54299-4a2d-4ea1-bed6-0a9e7410e5be">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Let's try this again... She needed to realize that the guy is a d-bag. A person doesn't go from being a stand-up guy and a good partner to sleeping with his FI's friends behind her back overnight.
Posted by tpender13[/QUOTE]

But she is already leaving him, so going "well he was cheating all along." Isn't helping anything, as she already ended it.

midgetthemighty

I second the flame for CMGr. Also, I flame Cew for the comment at the end of the thread implying that because someone only has 4 posts, they are obviously not intelligent enough to navigate a message board.