Specific baby talk in here!

katiewhompus

It's also very weird to mentally shift. My numbers are probably slightly off, but basically there is a 24 hour window for conception to occur, then for a healthy woman/man there is a 20% chance of it happening successfully, and after something like 1 in 3 women miscarry within 7 days of their next anticipated period.
When you look at it when you are avoiding it seems like such a huge thing, then when your ttc it's like "how does anyone have accidents?"

We also have the added stress of Dh being 36, going on 37. Also adoptions can take between 2-5 years to accomplish, so we're already thinking, should we start looking into adoptions? Should we wait 2 more years? Should we wait until he's 40 and then pursue adoptions, giving us 3 years to ttc+9 month gestation?

katiewhompus

I've only read TCOYF. I might see if the library has What to Expect but don't really want to buy it. It seems to be a 50/50 thing on my ttc board. Half say it's amazing and gave them so much to go from, the others said it sent them into a deep depression where they just wanted to give up because getting pregnant seemed impossible.

andyandhillary

I don't really know enough about AP to make a great opinion on it.  I think everything in life is all about balance.  One thing Andy and I agreed on though is that once kids are old enough to walk into our room they can't sleep in the bed.  Meaning, if they had a bad dream we'll talk to them about it but then take them back to their own room, even if it's just gradually. 

As far as being ready, you're never truly ready.  I think once you are both comfortable being parents/feel confident and you have your finances/lifestyle in order it's a good time.  I'm personally neurotic about finances but I know I'll need to remind myself that as long as I have a generic game plan then we'll be ok. 

It's going to be a long time before we have kids.  We're only 22 and 23 so we're not ready for kids on a number of levels.  If, for some reason, our BC failed we could handle it and we would make ourselves be ready but that's not preferable at this time. 

Morfudd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:d1592b84-ec17-4af1-b2a3-711165f3a4eb">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]I love charting. If nothing else you know when your period is going to show up and can be prepared for that, or you know why you are feeling the way you do. I can tell based on my temps if I'm feeling crappy that day or out of energy, whatever. And really, you're going to be thinking about it anyways, so just take the extra 3 minutes in the morning to chart if it makes you feel better. It also helps because if its not working you can bring your charts into the dr and have a better basis where to start from. For example, based on my temps I started to suspect I had a thyroid issue. I started using a progesterone cream and the temps went up, I was no longer freezing all the freaking time, and had more energy. It gives you a basis to go from instead of going to the doctor and going "It's not working".
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

This. I'm charting to avoid, and I love it so far. (We wouldn't be having sex anyway yet, so we haven't put it to the real test.) It's like magic to wake up in the morning and go, "oh, hm, temp's dropped, getting my period today, I'll take some ibuprophen before I leave so the cramping doesn't get too bad."

louisvillebride21

Yeah, I tried explaining to him how low my chances are of getting pg every month, but he's just not understanding it. I think he sees all the accidents of all his friends and he thinks that it's just going to happen. For my emotional sake, I hope it does. I'm just not expecting it to.

Man, I can imagine how stressful that is. I don't know thta H would be up for adoption. It just doesn't really seem like his bag. But then again, I don't see him being as baby crazy as I am, so I don't think it's quite as important to him.

Brie2010

Hmm, good to know, Katie.  I'm surprised they don't have the eBook either.

I'm dying to be off BC.  I've been on it for at least 10 years and I miss having the foggiest idea of what my body is doing.

katiewhompus

Dh is adopted (so is his sister) so it's definitely an option. We definitely don't have the finances for it right now though, so that's one of our motives for saving as much as we can as fast as we can. Even the "cheap" foreign adoptions (probably what we do since Dh is Korean himself) run between $20k -$50k.

It also doesn't help that people are constantly asking us why we aren't pregnant yet. The running joke is "You got yourself a 26 year old, why isn't she knocked up?" The last time someone said that I started crying and left the room. No one but you guys and my mom knows about my mc, and when something isn't working you don't exactly want to broadcast it to everyone in your life.

louisvillebride21

Yeah, I've been on it for 6 years. I started at 16, so I really have nothing to base what my body is doing now to what it used to do. At that age, I didn't notice or care what was going on. Although, I can pay attention and sort of know where I am in my cycle right now. I've read up on it enough to know some signs.

louisvillebride21

Oh how awful. I just don't understand why a woman becomes open season after she gets married. Why is my sex life any of your business? Why once I am pregnant do you feel like you can rub my stomach? You cant, you'll get your hand slapped.

Morfudd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:d8a88f5d-b2fc-48cd-86e9-4f12012ec20c">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE] It also doesn't help that people are constantly asking us why we aren't pregnant yet. <strong>The running joke is "You got yourself a 26 year old, why isn't she knocked up?" </strong>The last time someone said that I started crying and left the room. No one but you guys and my mom knows about my mc, and when something isn't working you don't exactly want to broadcast it to everyone in your life.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Ick.

I didn't know about your mc. I'm very sorry to hear about it, Katie.

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:d8a88f5d-b2fc-48cd-86e9-4f12012ec20c">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]Dh is adopted (so is his sister) so it's definitely an option. We definitely don't have the finances for it right now though, so that's one of our motives for saving as much as we can as fast as we can. Even the "cheap" foreign adoptions (probably what we do since Dh is Korean himself) run between $20k -$50k. It also doesn't help that people are constantly asking us why we aren't pregnant yet. The running joke is "You got yourself a 26 year old, why isn't she knocked up?" The last time someone said that I started crying and left the room. No one but you guys and my mom knows about my mc, and when something isn't working you don't exactly want to broadcast it to everyone in your life.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Ugh, that's awful.  I'm amazed at how many people have made comments about pregnancy since we got married.  I can only imagine how much worse it's going to get.

louisvillebride21

Oh, H's dad sent us an anti baby email. Something like a 'mistake' could really ruin your lives righ tnow...so think BEFORE you act. I know you're newlyweds and all, just be smart.

It was so. weird. Everyone is extremely anti baby for us. That's pretty weird too.

katiewhompus

The trick I've found is to just make them feel really uncomfortable about it. I know it's mean, but it's the only thing that works. Like now if they ask I'll be like "Well, we're trying every night, and in a lot of positions, but maybe we should lay off the leather or something..." We get a good chuckle and they stammer and go bright red. See if you ask about my sex life again!

And yes with the hand slapping. One of my friends had all these random people coming up to rub her belly when she was pregnant. After slapping she would start rubbing theirs and go "Yeah, doesn't feel so great does it? Feels kinda creepy like you want to call the cops." She's a hoot.

louisvillebride21

OMG that's GREAT!

Morfudd

His father has been making "when you have eight Catholic children" jokes at us since the first time he brought me to meet his family.

That first trip sent me to the ER with a panic attack.

Oh, damn, now I'm complaining about my in-laws. They threw me a lovely shower and love me to bits, though!

katiewhompus

I also have found that a real snippy "Do you really want to talk about my sex life?" erases the parent's asking questions about babies as well. Somehow they don't equate "my baby girl having sex" with "I'm going to be a grandpa"

louisvillebride21

I'm off to get a glass of wine and give TCOYF another shot. This was what I needed to give it another shot

Night ladies!

katiewhompus

Haha night

andyandhillary

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:d8a88f5d-b2fc-48cd-86e9-4f12012ec20c">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]Dh is adopted (so is his sister) so it's definitely an option. We definitely don't have the finances for it right now though, so that's one of our motives for saving as much as we can as fast as we can. Even the "cheap" foreign adoptions (probably what we do since Dh is Korean himself) run between $20k -$50k. It also doesn't help that people are constantly asking us why we aren't pregnant yet. The running joke is "You got yourself a 26 year old, why isn't she knocked up?" The last time someone said that I started crying and left the room. No one but you guys and my mom knows about my mc, and when something isn't working you don't exactly want to broadcast it to everyone in your life.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]


Katie, I didn't know about your MC but I'm really sorry to hear that.  Andy and his family were that way with one of his sisters.  She and her H had been married a few years and everyone kept bugging them about not having kids yet.  His family tends to have kids ASAP if it's financially possible and everyone gets knocked up immediately.  I finally pointed out to Andy one week that had it ever occurred to him or his siblings that maybe they had been trying?  Maybe there was something wrong?  Maybe it was breaking their hearts everytime someone made a joke at their expense?

What do you know?  A week later his sister told us to pray for them because they had been trying for almost a year and that the next Monday they were going to try to figure out what the issue was.  It amazes me how insensitive/blind people can be. 

tidetravel

HI!

I haven't read the thread,  I just thought I'd pop in, since it said "baby."

Brie2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:a6b027d7-ff53-4dae-aebc-6c7c0e7def89">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]HI! I haven't read the thread,  I just thought I'd pop in, since it said "baby."
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]


Haha!  Hi, Tide!  And Taryn!

katiewhompus

Haha Tide, it's been a fun baby talk, with no one who has had a baby yet

I think people hear about accidents so much they don't realize it can be hard to impossible for others. One of the ladies on my board has been trying for over 8 years, and was just denied adoption because the organization she was working with decided that a couple who was 38/42 were too old to be approved. She started seeing a therapist but it broke everyones heart when she posted that.

Edit: seeing a mental therapist, not fertility therapist.

tidetravel

RE: the co-sleeping thing.  We started co-sleeping once Taryn was about 3 months old.  There was one night where she would. not. go. to. sleep. so I brought her to bed with me because I was too tired to hold her anymore.  She snuggled up to me and went right to sleep.  So, I started bringing her to bed at night.  I didn't plan on it, but we found that she slept exponentially better in our bed, even if we weren't there with her.  And honestly, if she'll sleep 2 hours in the bassinett, or 5 hours in the bed, what would you choose?

We also figured that it would be an easier transition to move her to the crib, since she's learning to fall asleep on her own, rather than rocking her or holding her. 

katiewhompus

Must...resist...urge...to steal....

I love the glowy seahorse, and how she just sprawls all over when she sleeps.

jasmineh7777

Well, since the thread it already here.

I think this is regional, but everyone here has kids really young. I'm getting married at 21, but I sure as hell can't imagine having a kid right now. 3 sets of our married friends have kids. They are all 21 and 22. One couple is having their second child this week.
None of them have insurance. Only one of them is completing school. None of them own a home. Now, I like our friends, but I think it is crazy to have kids in that situation. Not that I want kids, but just seeing their situations makes me want to double up on my birth control.

katiewhompus

I can't even imagine having a kid at 21. I did a lot of changing between 21 and 26. Then again, I'm sure if I was 30 and just getting married I'd say the same thing!
That's crazy about the lack of insurance though. When I was in danger of losing my job we switched to condoms for the two month period until I found out I was safe. Being pregnant while not having insurance is not a state you want to be in!

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:b5ac2b6b-45b7-498c-a23e-9fe13c18d505">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]Must...resist...urge...to steal.... I love the glowy seahorse, and how she just sprawls all over when she sleeps.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Oh, she takes over the bed, for sure.  She's worse than the darned cats. 

I do love it when she wiggles out of her swaddle and scoots up next to me.  It's a very... natural?  feeling.  Like I'm a mother fox and she's curling up next to me to go to sleep.

DH was supposed to start moving her to the crib while I'm away.  He hasn't started yet.  He likes having her in bed too, because then doesn't feel lonely.  I called him today, and he was laying down with her to take a nap.  I think that I miss that the most.

katiewhompus

Aww poor Dh (and Taryn, and you!). Only a few more weeks and you'll be back!

I loved it when Z was 2 and would fall asleep on me. She puts her arms around your neck and just crashes out.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_specific-baby-talk-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d2c7198-1191-410a-96b1-42b4e6aaa307Post:ae4a35d5-440c-4b9d-b33c-e406c1c341d0">Re: Specific baby talk in here!</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha Tide, it's been a fun baby talk, with no one who has had a baby yet :) I think people hear about accidents so much they don't realize it can be hard to impossible for others. One of the ladies on my board has been trying for over 8 years, and was just denied adoption because the organization she was working with decided <strong>that a couple who was 38/42 were too old to be approved</strong>. She started seeing a therapist but it broke everyones heart when she posted that. Edit: seeing a mental therapist, not fertility therapist.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
That's ridiculous. 

crfische

I figure it's a safe baby thread, so I'll throw a picture I took of Liam this weekend in the new shirt I bought him, because you guys won't care, and I love to share.