Good Morning!

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:9bb925c7-b27b-4b91-8ec3-29c48aef4d27">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]My coworker's wife had a baby yesterday - H's best friend's wife (that I work with) had a baby in June - there's only 6 of us in this office - only 3 are of "baby having" age (everyone else is old). The concensus yesterday was that I need to have a baby. It was odd.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I'm one of 3 people in the office (of 10) without kids. And since I just got married less than a year ago, the consensus is it's my turn.

louisvillebride21

I'm sure you will Panda. As long as your kids don't know it, I think it's alright lol

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:5026b02a-5071-4eda-9ea6-e67ef4c4d12a">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Morning! : I'm one of 3 people in the office (of 10) without kids. And since I just got married less than a year ago, the consensus is it's my turn.
Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

That is what everyone we know here tells us. I just laugh at them and tell them in a few years. While I would love to have kids right now, it just isn't a smart move given some other circumstances.

LDYGTR13

Missy - I'm sorta in your boat. I LOVE the kids I nanny for! I want my kids to be like them. They're BAD birth control! lol.

Is it weird that my boss is constantly telling me I should be working in child care (I do corporate housing now - no kids at all)? She's always saying she's surprised I don't work at a day care because I love kids so much.

mandapanda78

Oh God LVB! Can you imagine? Actually, my mom used to tell me that she never wanted a third kid. I am her third kid. It did wonders for my self esteem. 

But I always know I'll be a better mother than my own was to me, and that's a nice thought. 

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:096ac5b4-13be-4238-b7cc-04bc15c5a111">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh God LVB! Can you imagine? <strong>Actually, my mom used to tell me that she never wanted a third kid. I am her third kid. It did wonders for my self esteem. </strong> But I always know I'll be a better mother than my own was to me, and that's a nice thought. 
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

My mom is a twin - her mother (a schizophrenic) told her on NUMEROUS occasions that she wished that she had only had one baby instead of twins and that she wishes it had just been my aunt who was born.  Heard it with my own ears once. I wanted to slam her against a wall.

Moms can say some meeeeean shiz.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:096ac5b4-13be-4238-b7cc-04bc15c5a111">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh God LVB! Can you imagine? Actually, my mom used to tell me that she never wanted a third kid. I am her third kid. It did wonders for my self esteem.  But I always know I'll be a better mother than my own was to me, and that's a nice thought. 
Posted by mandapanda78[/QUOTE]

No worse than knowing you were the mistake. I'm the third kid, born 13 months after my brother. Pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Luckily they didn't bring that to my attention too much.

I think your "what are you doing, you like your life now" though is where I'm at. I don't know that I'm up for giving up some things for another little human. Maybe that makes me selfish. I don't know. Lucas isn't all gung ho on having kids so that probably adds to it. We're both kind of if it happens if happens, if it doesn't we won't see fertility treatment or anything. It just wasn't mean to be.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:8522af2b-f43b-450b-834c-442f2bbec671">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Missy - I'm sorta in your boat. I LOVE the kids I nanny for! I want my kids to be like them. They're BAD birth control! lol. Is it weird that my boss is constantly telling me I should be working in child care (I do corporate housing now - no kids at all)? She's always saying she's surprised I don't work at a day care because I love kids so much.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I always find it interesting that we gravitate towards careers and hobbies where our true passions are.

salt78

Yeah I am literally the only person in the office without kids. And I work with almost all women. As it stands, probably 3 of us will be pregnant around the same time this year. 

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:c863ac17-abea-43a2-904a-a4fd668d5467">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Morning! : No worse than knowing you were the mistake. I'm the third kid, born 13 months after my brother. Pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Luckily they didn't bring that to my attention too much. I think your "what are you doing, you like your life now" though is where I'm at.<strong> I don't know that I'm up for giving up some things for another little human. Maybe that makes me selfish. I don't know</strong>. Lucas isn't all gung ho on having kids so that probably adds to it. We're both kind of if it happens if happens, if it doesn't we won't see fertility treatment or anything. It just wasn't mean to be.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

I felt this way for a long time and I didn't want to have kids. I felt that wasn't fair to me or the kid. One day I realized that I was ready to be selfless and I would not mind giving up my life and time for a baby. That's when I knew I was ready to have kids. Now we're just waiting to save up time off work and get our finances in order. Some time next year we'll "pull the goalie" as BIL likes to say.

louisvillebride21

OMG, that's AWFUL, Manda! Parents really suck sometimes.

kikibaby

I work with 5 women my age- 4 of them have 2 kids, the other is single.  There has been someone pregnant in my office almost constantly since I started working here 4 years ago. 

Birdie1483

My SIL didn't think she wanted to have kids for a LONG time. I heard about it for years. They had their friends and their lifestyle and they didn't want to give that up, etc. Then all of the sudden one day she was talking about TTC. Some stuff had happened in their lives where they realized that things were changing and maybe what they thought they wanted wasn't what they really wanted anymore.

I'm not the biggest fan of kids, but I like my friend's kids mostly. However, seeing my first niece be born this past year really changed my mind about when I wanted to have kids. I didn't think I could ever love a little girl so much and have her not even be mine.

I was also on the "no kids until I'm in my 30's" train until my friend told me about how FI said he thinks he'll be ready to have a kid before I am. Hearing that he wanted to have babies sooner rather than later made me want to ovulate.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:d26efcf9-76e5-49b6-9c51-cd9ccd688dbd">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]That really is an awful story. That pisses me off around the holidays. Front page of my parents paper this weekend was this girl who had <strong><u>Lou Gherkins</u></strong> disease.Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Hmm, is that where something bad happens to all of the pickles in the house? <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

I'm most excited to give my siblings these vintage lemon juicers. My mom and I both have one (I inherited my grandmother's when she gave up housekeeping), and they both have said they want my mom's when she is no longer in need of it. So I searched ebay an found one for each of them.

ETA: LVB - I was diagnosed with a form of RA when I was about your age. Obviously you've got some experience with it with your mom, but if you've got any questions, or just want to vent, feel free to PM me.

mkrupar

Waltzing I agree that maybe one day I'll hit the point where I'm ready to be selfless. I'm 26 (will be 27 in March) and Lucas is 30 so if it happens I'd like it to happen sooner rather than later. I don't want to be 37 suddenly getting hit with baby fever. For now I'll just enjoy everyone else around me getting pregnant and having babies.

waltzingmatilda13

I am one of 2 women in my office and the only one of child bearing age (the other is old and single). When I do get pregnant I'm envisioning 8 guys fawning over me and making sure I'm okay. 7 out of 8 of those guys have kids so they all know what it's like to be around a pregnant woman. It should be interesting.

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:c863ac17-abea-43a2-904a-a4fd668d5467">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Morning! : No worse than knowing you were the mistake. I'm the third kid, born 13 months after my brother. Pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen. Luckily they didn't bring that to my attention too much. I think your "what are you doing, you like your life now" though is where I'm at. <strong>I don't know that I'm up for giving up some things for another little human. Maybe that makes me selfish.</strong> I don't know. Lucas isn't all gung ho on having kids so that probably adds to it. We're both kind of if it happens if happens, if it doesn't we won't see fertility treatment or anything. It just wasn't mean to be.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

I think it's perfectly find to be selfish and it shouldn't be looked down upon when people make the decision that they like certain things in their life more than having children. I hate how some people think you MUST have kids. I'd much rather people be selfish and not have kids than to have them and treat them like they're a burden or a mistake.

musicalsunlight

I'm late on the train, but good morning! My Christmas break starts today because I'm finally done with my first semester in law school, thank God. I got to wake up to the smell of my 6 mo. old puppy's diarrhea taking over our bedroom. it started to get uncontrollable last night and so we are taking her to the vet today to check for parasites. Poor pup, she is just miserable because she is a super smart little bugger and knows that pooping in the house is naughty and she thinks we are mad at her.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:3e848d63-9155-4ad7-9e7b-948479e7348f">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Waltzing I agree that maybe one day I'll hit the point where I'm ready to be selfless. I'm 26 (will be 27 in March) and Lucas is 30 so if it happens I'd like it to happen sooner rather than later. I don't want to be 37 suddenly getting hit with baby fever. For now I'll just enjoy everyone else around me getting pregnant and having babies.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

Last year I was completely in selfish mode. Sometime this summer it hit me, right after I turned 27. I realized that I want to have our first kid before I'm 30 so we needed to start sooner than later. DH had been ready since before we started dating, so he was very happy to hear me jump on the baby train and he's only just turned 29 three weeks ago.

kikibaby

I think if you feel like you're selfish or don't want to give things up, you're just not ready.  And that's totally ok.  I knew I was ready when I didn't care what I had to give up.  At this point, I'm willing to not travel and eat ramen every day if that's what it takes.

mandysmear

People who say that piss me off.  About wishing they never had them.  That is the worst thing you could ever say to someone.  WORST.  Those people shoul dhave their children taken away from them. 

My mom lived for us. 

salt78

Being selfish is totally okay. For awhile I thought I wanted to be selfish forever, but then something changed. Mostly I think that something was H...I never really wanted kids before him.

Anyway I have friends that are younger than me and have 2 and 3 kids already, but I was always in a more of a career first before family mindset. I will be 33 in March, so I'm a little older than some of you.

Something that really irritates me is when I tell someone I only want one child and they are all "Oh but you know...when you have the one you are totally going to want another one". And it's like...hey guess what...no I don't. I just want one and I think it's really presumptuous of you to tell me what I'm going to want to do later.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:4ee4cae6-80fb-409e-84aa-a02838d81d98">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Good Morning! : I think it's perfectly find to be selfish and it shouldn't be looked down upon when people make the decision that they like certain things in their life more than having children. I hate how some people think you MUST have kids. I'd much rather people be selfish and not have kids than to have them and treat them like they're a burden or a mistake.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]

This is exactly where I'm coming from. Right now, if I had a kid because I felt it was what I was supposed to do (which that thought is rattling around in my head) I don't think I'd appreciate them as much as I would if I had them when I was good and ready to.

I'm also a big 'ole ball of anxiety and while physically I think I could totally have a kid, mentally I'm scared shitless. I'm the kind of person who worries about about any achs and pains so I can only imagine the kinds of thoughts that would go through my head and the anxiety I would have pregnant. So that kinds of stops me a little too.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:78e787b9-0777-47fb-9bda-72754607d07a">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]I think if you feel like you're selfish or don't want to give things up, you're just not ready.  And that's totally ok.  I knew I was ready when I didn't care what I had to give up.  <strong>At this point, I'm willing to not travel and eat ramen every day if that's what it takes.</strong>
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

I said almost the exact same thing to DH. We were going to travel for our 1 year anniversary and I said I didn't need to go. I also said I would eat Ramen, but DH said that probably wouldn't be good for the [potential] baby. And I'm willing to forgo buying a house if I can have a kid instead.

kikibaby

Oh god, salt, I get that too.  I told a friend the other day that I only want 1 kid and she's like "Oh why??  Siblings are the best thing in the world, and it's so much fun to have lots of kids!"  She thinks I'm a total selfish a-hole for only wanting 1 (she has 4!)

mkrupar

Yeah, I'm on the only one kid train. We both have said if we had kids we would have 1. Lucas would actually rather have girl because he doesn't want to have to be all into sports and things that most little boys are into. He's so not a sports guy. I told him it wouldn't matter. His father's not into sports, he's not into sports, odds are our little one wouldn't be into sports either. (I don't actively follow any sports. I'm always interested in a game when I catch something, but I don't follow most teams/sports).

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:4b86677b-0c8f-4f00-9a7d-cbc13371a06c">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Siblings are the best thing in the world, and it's so much fun to have lots of kids!"  
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

<div>Pfft. Whatever. Just because it's fun for her, doesn't mean it's fun for everyone.</div>

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:3a8eced4-962e-4088-8a07-ee0d9e60cc58">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I'm on the only one kid train. We both have said if we had kids we would have 1. Lucas would actually rather have girl because he doesn't want to have to be all into sports and things that most little boys are into. He's so not a sports guy. I told him it wouldn't matter. His father's not into sports, he's not into sports, odds are our little one wouldn't be into sports either. (I don't actively follow any sports. I'm always interested in a game when I catch something, but I don't follow most teams/sports).
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Haha Lucas sounds like my husband. I'm actually the rabid sports fan in our family. </div><div>We are hoping for a girl because our families are FULL of boys. I have 3 half brothers, 2 stepbrothers, and 3 male cousins...NO GIRLS. He has two sisters, but both of them have 2 boys apiece. FIL is like "Granddaughter please!!"

</div>

mkrupar

Lucas is definitely more of a comic book/video game nerd than a sports fan, but that's why I love him. I do love going to sporting events. He could care less about them. Just not something he's into.

Boys far outweigh the girls in our family, so another little girl wouldn't be bad.

Big question Salt (or anyone else that wants to answer): Would you find out what you were having or wait and be surprised?

P&R - Lunch time!

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_good-morning-143?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1dca2a25-399f-461a-b9db-a19481c02526Post:4b86677b-0c8f-4f00-9a7d-cbc13371a06c">Re: Good Morning!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh god, salt, I get <strong>that too.  I told a friend the other day that I only want 1 kid and she's like "Oh why??  Siblings are the best thing in the world, and it's so much fun to have lots of kids!"</strong>  She thinks I'm a total selfish a-hole for only wanting 1 (she has 4!)
Posted by kikibaby[/QUOTE]

The woman I nanny for after work has 2 kids - they're something like 18 months apart and she swears up and down it's the way to go because, while, yes, you've got two in diapers for a bit, they entertain each other and have a much better relationship.

I wanna see what it's like when they're older lol. I doubt they'll still want to sleep in the same room all the time and still want to entertain each other all the time.

I want a girl, and H wants a boy - so we'll probably end up with two kids, but I hope I get to have them at one time. Twins run in my family :)