To add to the list of "and guest" questions...

klokowac

I am getting ready to put out the STD's, and I would like to get as many thoughts/opinons regarding who does and does not get a guest.

The initial guidelines my fiance and I agreed upon as far as who does get to bring a guest included: married couples, engaged couples, single guests in a serious bf/gf relationship (they can determine "serious", but ideally having gone out for more than a couple months), and anyone in the wedding party. The only exception I was willing to make was for any single person who wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.

My FIL's included a guest spot for my FSIL who is not in a relationship (and she is not in the WP). I feel torn because she is my FSIL and part of me feels fine with allowing her a guest, but I also don't want to create unnecessary drama with other single people who won't be allowed to bring a guest. Although then there's the risk of tension with the IL's.

Thoughts?

redheadfsu

I would just have FI make the call either way, so he can explain it to her. If there is a possibility of drama, then I would give her a plus one.

Celles

I would treat immediately family as if they were members of the wedding party and make an exception.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_add-list-of-guest-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:211ed840-17e6-45ff-a489-b7c7ccea511bPost:012deb2a-69c8-422c-8063-967ef3fdd0db">To add to the list of "and guest" questions...</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting ready to put out the STD's, and I would like to get as many thoughts/opinons regarding who does and does not get a guest. The initial guidelines my fiance and I agreed upon as far as who does get to bring a guest included: married couples, engaged couples, single guests in a serious bf/gf relationship (they can determine "serious", but ideally having gone out for more than a couple months), and anyone in the wedding party. The only exception I was willing to make was for any single person who wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding. My FIL's included a guest spot for my FSIL who is not in a relationship (and she is not in the WP). I feel torn because she is my FSIL and part of me feels fine with allowing her a guest, but I also don't want to create unnecessary drama with other single people who won't be allowed to bring a guest. Although then there's the risk of tension with the IL's. Thoughts?
Posted by klokowac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You're only sending out STD's.  Just send them out to the person invited, with no mention of a guest.  If the couple is married, engaged, living together, or just definitely serious then put the SO's name, but for single people or people newly dating don't make any mention of a guest.</div><div>
</div><div>If you do end up giving a guest to the FSIL I don't think it will matter and people won't question it.  For all the know she is seriously dating someone.  But at the same time, if she is surrounded by family why does she need a guest?

</div>

pantherRN

 I think all immediate family should get a plus one.

Melanie2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_add-list-of-guest-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:211ed840-17e6-45ff-a489-b7c7ccea511bPost:eca1146a-999e-42c0-8276-1eb4cfbe6e1d">Re: To add to the list of "and guest" questions...</a>:
[QUOTE]I would treat immediately family as if they were members of the wedding party and make an exception.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.  I plan to give all my siblings, as well as FI's brother, a plus-one, even if they're not seeing anyone seriously at the time of the wedding.  Besides, as dnbeach said, most guests aren't even going to realize the difference.  I've never gone to a wedding where I spent any time sizing up which of the other guests had plus-ones.  And anyone who knows your FSIL well enough to know she's not in a serious relationship with her guest, will know her well enough to know she's immediate family of the groom.  I think you're okay.

kyurcek

My FSIL isn't in the WP, nor is she in a relationship.  We still gave her a +1, simply because she is family.  As dnbeach said though, these are only the STDs - you don't need to finalize that or put "and guest" on it right now if you're not sure.

ajroark

I agree that no mention of a plus one needs/should be included with the STD. I do think you should eventually offer her a plus one though since she is family and it's just one more guest. Other single guests should not be concerned about her plus one.

whifflegirl

Even if she doesn't meet your standards for a +1 right now, there's nothing to say that she won't have a boyfriend by the time you send out your invitations.   The same thing goes for the rest of your single guests.  Send the STDs to all your single guests with just their names on them, but you'll need to re-evaluate everyone's relationship statuses once you send your invitations.  Relationships could start and end in the time between now and your wedding.

If it were me, though, I'd be giving a +1 to my FSIL regardless of her relationship status.  Being a sister of your FI, in my opinion, should give her at least as high of status as being in the wedding party. 

SilverLining1

Also, if a couple considers themselves to be in a relationship, they should both be invited, regardless of the length of the relationship.

TexGal76

Since we are having a DW, I was going to include the "and guest" on the STD's.  Only a couple of people are single too. 

As for the FSIL, I think allowing her a guest would probably be in your best interest to keep the "peace" in the family.  I'm not a good one to talk though cuz FI and I aren't allowing his brother a plus one since his "gf" is more of the type of bachelor party entertainment (if you catch my drift.)