Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar

cmmosley81

I am have a venue with a 5 hour time block. They give a 1 hour open bar with the price. I wasnt thinking twice about it I was just figuring that I would put on the invites cash bar. I dont drink neiter do 1/3 of the guests. Is it rude to put that? I have a very small budget 10K and half of it is going to the venue so to cut corners is hard. On the CT board they mentioned a consumption bar what is that? Please help

strlzfan11

A consumption bar means that you pay for the amount of alcohol that is consumed instead of a paying a set price per person to drink.

squirrly

It's not appropriate to put cash bar on the invitations. 

The best thing to do is host what you can afford.  Could you cover beer and wine in your budget?  And, whatever you do, make sure it's the same for the full 5 hours.  It's not great, but will be ok, if you close the bar during dinner.  But when it reopens it needs to be the same as before. 

Talk to your venue, and see what options they offer. 

cmmosley81

OK so what about a combination bar? I feel really stupid having to ask all this but I never thought I would have to worry about the bar.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:1b6a3192-53ca-4509-88df-b9744f4399cd">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]OK so what about a <strong>combination bar</strong>? I feel really stupid having to ask all this but I never thought I would have to worry about the bar.
Posted by cmmosley81[/QUOTE]

Correct me if I'm wrong but a combination bar is when you have a combination of both open bar and cash bar, yes? There are limitations on the bar of what is hosted. If they want anything about the hosted bar then it's cash?

gailpete

Can you afford do serve beer & wine throughout the entire reception?  If so, you can limit it to beer & wine, or maybe add a signature cocktail.

Asking your guests to pay for their drinks is considered rude.  If you were inviting them to your home for dinner, would you ask them to pay for their food or drink?

If a number of your guests don't drink, then having a consumption bar (paying based on what is used) would likely be cheaper than a per person charge.  Whatever you decide, it should be consistent throughout the reception. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:1b6a3192-53ca-4509-88df-b9744f4399cd">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel really stupid having to ask all this but I never thought I would have to worry about the bar.
Posted by cmmosley81[/QUOTE]
i don't get it. did you read the contract before signing it?

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:1b6a3192-53ca-4509-88df-b9744f4399cd">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]OK so what about a combination bar? I feel really stupid having to ask all this but I never thought I would have to worry about the bar.
Posted by cmmosley81[/QUOTE]

Personally, I feel like you should host what you can afford (even if that's only beer and wine) and not have any form of cash bar at all. People should not have to pay in any way, shape, or form to attend your wedding. Your guests will drink what you have available.

Goldlie11

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're inviting 60 people, right?  And you say 1/3 of them will not drink.  So basically you have about 40 people drinking at your wedding.  Isn't there room in your budget to at least provide beer and wine for 40 people?

L-Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:14df505b-abb2-4a27-92dc-1a9f90192f79">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar : Personally, I feel like you should host what you can afford (even if that's only beer and wine) and not have any form of cash bar at all. <strong>People should not have to pay in any way, shape, or form to attend your wedding.</strong> Your guests will drink what you have available.
Posted by twilight.rose[/QUOTE]

<div>This is only an opinion. You can serve beer and wine and give your guests the option to pay for a mixed drink if they want one. Most guests appreciate the option to purchase a drink of their choice even if it's not what you're hosting. </div>

cmmosley81

 Daffodil-The venue has nothing in there contract about anything but and open bar for one hour then a cash bar after that. I am going to call them on tuesday and ask about it. I dont drink so I never gave it a second thought.
 As far as doing beer and wine for the rest of the time it is 15 per person to pay for 4 hours of beer and wine but I have to pay for all 60 people even if they dont drink. I cant say to them only 40 people will be drinking so I only want to pay for them. Also the venue only allows people tp get so many drinks an hour so there in my mind I am paying a lot for alochol that isnt going to be drank.
 I am already trying to cut things out of my budget. As I said I have a 10K budget and that is so tight right now. I have 5K going to the venue, 1000 to dresses ( I have to buy the FG and  a BM dress, my daughter and my sister who I assume responsiblity for) A lot of DIY is in play I dont even have a photog cuz it isnt in the budget

banana468

Honestly, where in CT are you getting married?  I ask because while a lot of people understand that weddings are expensive, the idea of asking your guests to pay for their drinks is really not appropriate in general.  Beyond that, I've only heard of a few people I know going to a CT wedding that was cash bar and they did leave a bad taste in the mouths of the guests (no pun intended) since that's not even the norm either.

If you can talk to them about a consumption bar for beer and wine I'd try to do that. 

Remember, just because you choose to drink alcohol free beverages does not mean you should decide that alcohol is therefore off limits to your guests.  The 2/3 of your guests that do may be a bit put off.

cmmosley81

Our venue is an ocean front  ball room

Goldlie11

My point was your consumption bar would be only for 40 people.  Although $15pp is a very good deal.

banana468

I know you've already GBCK'd but I can't think of any waterfront ballroom in this state where guests should be asked to pay for their drinks.  You can definitely find other ways to keep things in the budget - particularly if you know that you can pay on consumption or bring in your own.

kellyjellybelly

But Banana, THATS NOT THE WAY SHE WANTS TO DO IT!  Stop teling her what to do!  I mean, I know she ASKED for help, but she doesn't want the correct help.

mica178

Just in case you're lurking, I agree with banana.  If your reception is at an oceanfront ballroom, you really need to host your guests in a manner consistent with the setting.  You can limit your costs by restricting your guests to domestic beers and inexpensive beers and having a consumption bar (you mentioned that your guests aren't big drinkers).  If your venue allows it, bring your own wine/beer (often the difference in corkage makes this deal worthwhile) so you can really control cost and quality.

EiffelAnne04

Are the 40 people who drink heavy drinkers?  If they aren't, would it be possible to do a consumption bar (where you pay for each drink consumed)?  I'd ask the venue what they charge per drink and then figure out what options would fit into your budget. 

ladydiy2004

If they are your friends and family they will come celebrate with you regardless if their is an open bar or cash bar seems like too many women on here watch too many shows not everyone can afford an open bar and your friends and family will not look down on you for that ..

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:8f77b7e5-4f3d-425f-b553-3e2d04f2b3e3">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]If they are your friends and family they will come celebrate with you regardless if their is an open bar or cash bar seems like too many women on here watch too many shows not everyone can afford an open bar and your friends and family will not look down on you for that ..
Posted by ladydiy2004[/QUOTE]

It isn't about watching wedding shows.  It's about fulfilling your responsibilities as a host in doing what is appropriate.

Sure if I'm friends with someone having a cash bar I'll still go to the wedding.  But I will definitely think that it's in poor taste for him or her to do so because what they'd be doing IS in fact poor taste.

If you don't want people to be upset, follow proper etiquette.  Everyone has a budget of some kind.  Asking the guests to help chip in to defray the costs should never be something that hosts consider.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-consumption-bar?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2329d3f6-0e5c-420b-994a-230c27343242Post:d2b970cd-1722-4499-99b9-6958726c515c">Re: Cash Bar/ Consumption Bar</a>:
[QUOTE]Fullfilling your responsibilities as a host does not include paying for alcohol too as long as you provide non alcoholic drinks, since when do weddings have to have alcohol?? I dont eat Chicken so should the host buy me steak instead?
Posted by ladydiy2004[/QUOTE]

No.  However the host should not offer you steak at your cost if she's only serving chicken.

The hosts should have an event that they can host within their means.  At no time during that event should the guests be asked to pay for anything that they want.   Anything available to them should be hosted and not available at an additional cost.

That means that she can go dry and not serve alcohol at all.  But if she offers the alcohol that some guests may expect then she needs to pay for it.  To not do so is not appropriate.

L-Bride

I know this is the same old debate around here but I really don't mind going to a wedding and it being a cash bar. I would mind however if I wasn't given the option to at least buy what I wanted. It's given a "low class" connotation if someone offers beer and wine with the option of buying mixed drinks.
When people say "Your guests shouldn't be asked to buy anything they would want" I don't really understand that. If I want to buy a drink at someone's wedding no one's asking me to. I'm making the decision to do so.

banana468

It's because a host does his or her best to offer what is within his means to best serve his guests.  He keeps the desires and needs of his guests in mind when planning any event from the start.

And a guest graciously accepts what is offered to him or her and does not ask for anything more.

banana468

It's because a host does his or her best to offer what is within his means to best serve his guests.  He keeps the desires and needs of his guests in mind when planning any event from the start.

And a guest graciously accepts what is offered to him or her and does not ask for anything more.