I remember when I was planning my wedding you all gave such honest advice, and even though this isn't wedding related at all I just wanted to see if anybody out there had any objective feedback. I had also posted this on thenest before realizing that the board I posted on didn't seem very active. Thanks and sorry this is long...
My husband and I were married in May and we are doing great. We are from Ohio, but moved to Virginia for his job which he loves and is a great opportunity. I have an okay job, don't love it, but don't hate it.
My dad still lives in Ohio (mom passed away when I was in my teens) and his health is declining. He has COPD and it is to the point where he gets out of breath walking anywhere and uses oxygen 24/7. He currently lives alone, and my sister lives nearby and checks in after work everyday. I don't think he should be living alone at all, but he gets really upset whenever I mention him moving so I've dropped the idea. He has lived in the house for 30 years and it is still decorated just the way my mom had it. I've always been very close to my dad and we talk almost every evening and miss him dearly.
Ever since I visited him in October I just get upset and depressed every time I think about his health and my not being able to visit often. I feel guilty I'm not there, but there is also a part of me that is afraid that he doesn't have a lot of time left and that I'm missing out on precious time with him. On the other hand, I'm happily married and would also like to put my energy towards my new family (my husband) and our life together. My husband is very supportive and knows that I want (mentally need!) to travel back to Ohio once a month to visit but the constant worry and travel is beginning to drain me...
It is also getting harder and harder to find time to travel to Ohio with work and I'm getting to the point where I dread going to work now because I take care of people all day long (nurse) and I think it has something to do with deep down I wish I were taking care of my dad. I used to love my job, and I just don't feel that way anymore. I've considered quitting so that I can go back to Ohio for a few weeks at a time, but that seems like an irresponsible things for an adult to do as well. In fact, I feel like a bum even considering that but I know that is what would make me happy. I just also worry that my trying to take care of an elderly parent will get in the way of my marriage and I obviously don't want that to happen either. My husband and I really want to start our own family at some point. My husband would love kids now, as would I, but I'm afraid that additional stress would kill me.
I guess my question is.... has anyone else dealt with your own family (husband, kids) and also tried to balance taking care of an aging parent and work? I just feel overwhelmed and it just seems like no matter what I do I'm not happy.
Thanks in advance...