Who pays destination wedding airfare for bride and groom?

futuremrslmv

We're having a destination wedding, but we're going the tradition route of bride's family pays for the wedding.  Who is responsible for the bride and groom's airfare and lodging for the wedding?  I'm not sure if this is defined in etiquette somewhere

Beachy730

If you picked to have a DW I think you should be paying for your own airfare and hotel. 

kikibaby

I'm gonna go with... who are the bride and groom, Alex?

KatyRoseM

If it were at home you would pay to get there, so you still should.  If they offer to pay your way, I see no reason to not accept though. 

squirrly

The bride and groom should plan to pay.  If the person paying for the wedding offers to cover it, great, but the B&G shouldn't count on it.  Just like they shouldn't count on anyone else paying for the wedding - tradition or no.

sclams

I would ask your parents if they would prefer you pay for yourselves. I mostly agree with dnbeach (after all, you'd pay for any other vacation!), but if they want to pay for you, or if they've given you a budget and you can fit the hotel and airfare into that, then I guess that's okay.

qwerty777

If you chose the DW, you pay to get there.

nda_roxybabe

I'd say you pay for yourselves. However, I guess it would depend on the agreement with the parents to pay for the wedding. Like, if they said they'd give you $7k to spend however then you could apply that towards airfare.

sister2groom

Just be careful how you word it, if you're not careful you could sound a bit greedy. I mean, someone who's not willing to pay to attend their own wedding?

Simply Fated

Are they paying for the guests' hotel stay and airfare?

marinabreeze

I say bride and groom.  Even though you're going the "traditional' route, you and your FI aren't entitled to have your parents pay your way there, you are adults.  So plan to pay your way yourselves, unless they offer to pay.  Do not ask them to pay for it nor bring it up at all, just assume you're paying for it yourselves, unless they come to you and FI and offer to do so.

MeaghanandMichael

Sorry to be harsh, but I am shocked you are not automatically picking up your own tab for this. This is bizarre to me.

quotequeen

If the bride's parents are paying for something, presumably it's because they offered to do so, so the question is what exactly were the terms of the offer.  If they said "here's $X do what you want with it," then B&G can choose to spend part of that money on their travel arrangements.  If they are just paying for things as they come up, then B&G should plan to pay for themselves, and if the parents decide to pay then it's a nice surprise.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pays-destination-wedding-airfare-bride-goorm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:29cb4b6f-12e8-464f-a70d-1463e8caa7e4Post:eca3b3af-3a70-40d9-bd16-edfae0eb06d0">Re: Who pays destination wedding airfare for bride and groom?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry to be harsh, but I am shocked you are not automatically picking up your own tab for this. This is bizarre to me.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

This.

[Deleted User]

If someone else is paying for your wedding, I think the least you could do is pay for your own airfare. There are plenty of people that pay for their whole wedding themselves. I think you are being a bit greedy and bratty here.

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pays-destination-wedding-airfare-bride-goorm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:29cb4b6f-12e8-464f-a70d-1463e8caa7e4Post:37863bde-02a3-4dae-b7c2-db88bdd2e018">Re: Who pays destination wedding airfare for bride and groom?</a>:
[QUOTE]If someone else is paying for your wedding, I think the least you could do is pay for your own airfare. There are plenty of people that pay for their whole wedding themselves. I think you are being a bit greedy and bratty here.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]
this.

amityr1976

My FI and I are getting married in Vegas in March.  His parents are paying for the wedding (long story), but it would NEVER occur to me that they would pay for our travel expenses.  I would feel bad even accepting if they aked.  We're staying in Vegas for the honeymood and it seems kind of creepy for them to cover a week of newlywed debauchery.  )  Then again maybe that's just me.

ccdaisy

We are having a DW in Jamaica next year- and we are paying for it ourselves. It would never have occurred to me to ask or expect my parents to pay for it. We made the decision to not have the wedding here- so why stick to them paying? It seems strange to me. 

emilyinchile

Yeah, I think it's weird that you think anyone else should pay for your travel expenses. If your parents gave you a lump sum to cover the cost of the wedding, and you can work the budget so that that lump sum pays for your airfare and hotel, then great. But if your parents have already generously said they'll pay for the wedding and are paying vendors as the bills arrive, it would be beyond rude of you to show up with a bill for your plane tickets.

Also, the last option makes it sound like you and your FI are children - adults do not need each of their parents to pay for their trips.

redheadfsu

ditto pps.

What was your parent's offer? We can only afford X or will pay for the reception? Since you can never ask someone (even your parents) to pay for your wedding, unless it was offered the bride & groom must foot the bill. There are not traditional rules anymore and a DW is far from traditional. Unless someone tells you different, you will be paying.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I've been paying for my own airfare since I was 21 so...

But yeah. It's kind of like asking who's responsible for buying your shampoo for the wedding weekend. It's something for YOU, right?

BlueBoxBride

We're paying for our own plane tickets, even if FI's family offered to pay for the entire wedding. 

Heck, just because they OFFERED doesn't mean that we aren't paying for everything we can... we're not giving them a bill for every little thing, but where we're splurging we'll let them take care of it (*they can very comfortably afford it). 

I think that as two adults, you should be financially ready to be married... and two airplane tickets should be a drop in the bucket in terms of what financially ready means. Even if your family is okay with spending 10s of thousands on flowers or $15k for liquor, I'm sure good old dad would at least appreciate you picking up the tab for most of your wedding attire, the officiant fee and tip, wedding license, your personal transportation and wedding cake. Then you have the foundation of the wedding covered and everything else is a gifted upgrade. 

JadziaDax

Pay for your own tickets unless your family offers.