so, I'm in a wedding again.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:788a87cd-7adc-4d29-80f3-f1cfbad7e2da">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think her clarification of "Yes, a weekend" is what rubbed me the wrong way the most.
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]
you and me both. it was like saying, "I know you have lives, but I don't care."

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:25a6627e-461a-4652-9ca5-93acc25830c7">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so, I'm in a wedding again. : you and me both. it was like saying, "I know you have lives, but I don't care."
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

Or that she knew before she even sent the email that people were going to be like "Um excuse me?"

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:efef8b26-8e86-4d17-88f0-84fa67a28357">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]This makes me think about all the brides who say they don't understand why their BM dropped out after saying it was too expensive.  I wonder how many MOH's do things like this and send BMs running out of the WP, and the bride has no idea that its happening.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

oooh, good point. I don't want to bail on the wedding. like I said, I love the bride, and I think she'd appreciate me doing whatever I can afford. the problem with being a BM is, though, the other BMs are going to talk about you behind your back if you skip out on any single thing.

if anyone wants to word an email for me, that'd be awesome. cause I am a vag and don't know how to put people in their place. unless I'm calling them a cvnt.

georgia_bride09

Just hit Reply All and call her a c*nt. Problem. Solved.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:baf4d6e4-af02-464b-92d0-936b098c7b26">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so, I'm in a wedding again. : I'm quite fond of you as well. I can't hear the phrase "bitch please" without thinking of this: <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/67442/saturday-night-live-update-celebrity-blogger" rel="nofollow">http://www.hulu.com/watch/67442/saturday-night-live-update-celebrity-blogger</a>
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
yep. that's exactly where I was going with that. I want to be her for halloween next year, but I know no one will get it.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:30ad29ed-2313-498d-ba1f-a6fd6c78dca6">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so, I'm in a wedding again. : Better to dump on the parade than to be broke as a joke! :)
Posted by Birdie1483[/QUOTE]
:)

heartxsongs

If I'm reading the OP correctly, she's actually doing 3 showers right?  It looks like during the bach weekend, they're throwing the bride a lingerie shower too.  That's a lot of showering from the same people.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:cdce6998-cf84-4e2c-8f91-1d1916e26442">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just hit Reply All and call her a c*nt. Problem. Solved.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]
it's like one mind, georgia. ONE MIND!

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:26b1a50e-b6fc-48a8-a366-d080523ef608">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]If I'm reading the OP correctly, she's actually doing 3 showers right?  It looks like during the bach weekend, they're throwing the bride a lingerie shower too.  That's a lot of showering from the same people.
Posted by heartxsongs[/QUOTE]
oh yeah, I forgot about that one. yeah. three showers it is!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:cdce6998-cf84-4e2c-8f91-1d1916e26442">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]Just hit Reply All and call her a c*nt. Problem. Solved.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

This has my vote!

mandysmear

OMG.  That wedding is so expensive and you haven't even bought gifts or a fucking dress yet.

I get wanting to throw an amazing shower and b-party for your BFF.  BUt COMMON people. 

Also, is that comic sans?

banana468

I think the MOH is a little too Patty Simcox for her own good.

I'd be really quick to chime in and say, "This is my budget" and leave it at that.

It also sounds like she doesn't really "get' how to do things but hopefully an immediate email will help bring her back to Earth.

FutureMrsFezz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:b8a470b8-0c52-40b5-a804-e393a0963c01">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so, I'm in a wedding again. : I actually had two showers. but it was because some friends of ours demanded to throw us a stock-the-bar party, right after we got engaged. so maybe that was more of an engagement party? I don't know. it was fun. my bridal shower sucked ass though. bridal showers usually do.
Posted by laladypoet[/QUOTE]

I guess I should have clarified that the fact that they are both being thrown by the same people is what I think is off.  haha.  2 showers, different people is totally different!  And yeah my shower was pretty lame.
ETA: 3 showers.  Three.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:464b8aa7-8df3-4ec5-b5ae-87240fb2772a">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG.  That wedding is so expensive and you haven't even bought gifts or a fucking dress yet. I get wanting to throw an amazing shower and b-party for your BFF.  BUt COMMON people.  Also, is that comic sans?
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]
hahaha! yes, it's comic sans :) it's a very respected font, I hear ;)
and I want the bride to have an amazing time too. but you don't need to spend a shitton of money to do that, and you don't need a weekend for that to happen.

eastunder1

I seriously dont even know what to say.  is this dumb bitch made of money and just assumes the rest of the world is too?   With the hotels and the dinners and the three showers and ridiculous stripper show,  plus all the mornal costs, youre looking at getting into the thousands here.  There is no way I would put up with this.  No way.

You just need to not be in weddings.  You dont have very good luck with them. 

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:aa6c3f5c-f687-4cc0-bd23-90b91e536f20">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]I seriously dont even know what to say.  is this dumb bitch made of money and just assumes the rest of the world is too?   With the hotels and the dinners and the three showers and ridiculous stripper show,  plus all the mornal costs, youre looking at getting into the thousands here.  There is no way I would put up with this.  No way. You just need to not be in weddings.  You dont have very good luck with them. 
Posted by eastunder1[/QUOTE]
I think weddings hate me. there's always some bridezilla or bridesmaid that ruins my life. my life is hard, yo.
east, solve my problem. what would you say to her in an email?

crfische

What I want to know is CAN YOU BRING YOUR MOM TO THE RD?

That's what matters here.

Beachy730

Dear MOH,
Even though we've never met, I'm glad to see we share such a mutual respect for bride, and want her to have a great wedding experience.  With that being said though, I don't think I have the financial means for all of these parties.  I like the idea of a couples shower, but think that it would be very straining on us as the BMs, as well as the guests to have 2 parties and be expected to give 2 seperate gifts.  Can we please reconsider to only having one shower.
The bachelorette weekend is also a bit much for me.  I think the wine tour would be good, or a nice dinner out and then drinks, but doing both and a hotel room or limo is just more than I can afford. 
Perhaps all the BMs can work together with you to come up with some other options to still let her have a great wedding experience, while not bankrupting all of us. 
Sincerely,
Laladypoet

P.S. Cvnt!

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:f704365e-b448-4512-a860-366f51ecae98">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]What I want to know is CAN YOU BRING YOUR MOM TO THE RD? That's what matters here.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
you know I'm bringing YOUR mom, fishy.

Snippylynn

Dear MOH-

It sounds like you've put a lot of time and effort into planning all of these details, however, I have a couple of points.  First, I know that myself (and probably some of the other BM's) would have liked some input on this.  Secondly, the fact is, I just can't afford all of that- and definitely not the entire bachelorette weekend. 

I'm more than happy to help plan and possibly host events, but is there any way that we can cut back on some areas?  Being in a wedding is already expensive, and all of these extra events are going to put me in a bind.

(Use reply all and take whatever happens)

Ya know, somethin' like that.

FutureMrsTR

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:10150b03-c8b1-4a4c-bc7a-01cd205d6940">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I think the MOH is a little too Patty Simcox for her own good</strong>. I'd be really quick to chime in and say, "This is my budget" and leave it at that. It also sounds like she doesn't really "get' how to do things but hopefully an immediate email will help bring her back to Earth.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I love you for throwing out this reference :)

crfische

Only because I already have a date with yours the same weekend.

laladypoet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:aa4304dd-e54a-4acd-a3bc-88dc4bd156f0">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear MOH, Even though we've never met, I'm glad to see we share such a mutual respect for bride, and want her to have a great wedding experience.  With that being said though, I don't think I have the financial means for all of these parties.  I like the idea of a couples shower, but think that it would be very straining on us as the BMs, as well as the guests to have 2 parties and be expected to give 2 seperate gifts.  Can we please reconsider to only having one shower. The bachelorette weekend is also a bit much for me.  I think the wine tour would be good, or a nice dinner out and then drinks, but doing both and a hotel room or limo is just more than I can afford.  Perhaps all the BMs can work together with you to come up with some other options to still let her have a great wedding experience, while not bankrupting all of us.  Sincerely, Laladypoet P.S. Cvnt!
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
the PS is my favorite!

laladypoet

thanks momo!
and fish, my mom's already moved on. she didn't tell you? she's dating alix now.

Bubbalub

Wow, I agree with pps that it is overkill. Three showers thrown by the same people? Three? And it rubbed me the wrong way, too, how she wrote "Yes, weekend!" or whatever, like she expected that everyone would be put off by that.

She really should have spoken to all the BMs first to check budgets and availability. I would definitely write her something along the lines of:

Dear MOH,

i'm really excited to by a BM for L but I have some concerns about your inital plans. I am on a limited budget and, while I want to make sure L has a wonderful experience as a bride, I think three showers plus a bachelorette weekend, in addition to the cost of a dress, shoes, and other accoutrements, might exceed my budget. Have you asked the other BMs about budgets and availability yet? I think that would be a great first step to finding out what is feasible for everyone.

And then maybe direct her to TK to find out about etiquette for showers, multiple showers with the same guest list, having EITHER a couples shower or a ladies-only shower, etc.

My BMs would have loved to set up a whole spa weekend for me but everyone's budget only allowed for a massage, dinner and drinks. It was awesome and perfect. My H's guys were able to take him to Vegas for a weekend and spent a ton of moola on him and I'm so happy they were able to do that for him, but I know that it is not expected and not everyone can do that.

This MOH really sounds like she just doesn't know as much as she thinks she does about being in a WP and just isn't working with all the information she should have, you know?

crfische

Your mom dates men?

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-wedding-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c990469-fd3b-4bed-9e41-9f085c6c1788Post:d0b5e0fa-cfac-46c6-9746-ebe148160334">Re: so, I'm in a wedding again.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: so, I'm in a wedding again. : I love you for throwing out this reference :)
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]

Thanks!  That's the first thing I thought of when I read it.  She's just a little to OMG Isn't this the BEST??!!!

And I like the letters that the two PPs have written.  Either way, I think she needs to be brought back to Earth.

Birdie1483

Dear MOH,
I know you're trying to be College Station's own personal stimulus plan. However, not all of us are recession proof.



And then I stopped there because I don't know the right things to say....

Calypso1977

i for one am sick and tired of other people's weddings costing me money. 

i'm sorry, but getting married isnt really an accomplishment.  i mean, anyone can do it.  why does it warrant a bazillion AW events and a ridiculous AW wedding day?  a successful, happy marriage is an accomplishment.  actually getting to the altar isnt. 

laladypoet

I agree, bubb. she recently got married, and maybe her bm's did something amazing and expensive for her, and she thinks that's how it's supposed to go.