Wedding Etiquette Forum

In Laws... Grrr

How do I nicely handle this?  I say nicely because the words I want to say are probably not appropriate :)

My fiance has 2 brothers, brother A and his wife are amazing, we get a long, we have never had issues with them.  Brother B... him and his wife are a piece of work, they openly hate all of us for no reason (I'm really not being dramatic, his wife is one of those people that loves drama and has multiple enemies).  They haven't talked to any of us exept his parents in 2 years, my fiance didn't want to invite them to the wedding but I urged him to ask so he doesn't ever have to regret not and we agreed they probably won't come anyways.  Turns out they are!  We're having a destination wedding and that's pretty much the only reason because my fiances family are footing the bill for everything.  Free vacation.

Now my mother-in-law to be is like bending over backwards for my fiance's sister in law because they're coming.  At first I blew it off but now it's just down right annoying.   Now I found out from some of my fiance's relatives that his SIL was bashing us a couple weeks ago to a room full of people.  We saw her at a family dinner and she wouldn't even look at me and didn't speak to my fiance either.  Sooo my questions is, what is the proper way of handling a situation like this?  I know I need to act like a grown up and ignore her, but a very childish part of me wants to say F* off, you're not coming to our wedding anymore!  How do I let this women not wreck our day?  I should also mention it is a very small wedding so there won't be a room full of people for me to avoid her with.

Re: In Laws... Grrr

  • Nothing you do will make her act like a decent human being. You also can't uninvite her or her husband. I suggest you take the high road and be polite to them, but you do not need to interact with the two of them outside of the actual wedding.
  • I don't think SIL is the only one in this story who likes the drama. You can't think of anything appropriate to say because there isn't anything. If SIL says anything to your face that can certainly be addressed, but doing anything because you heard from somebody else that she said something rude/mean about you and your FI is just petty.

    In what way is FMIL bending over backwards for SIL and why, exactly does this bother you so much?
    Lizzie
  • "Hi, thanks for coming.  Excuse me, I need to go do [some other thing that's conveniently located on the other side of the room]."  Avoid for the rest of the trip.
    imagemy to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
  • Nothing irritates people more than not reacting when they are trying to provoke you.  Ignore her, welcome her gratiously, and enjoy your wedding.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_laws-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d41df06-8c36-418e-8000-19b1418e5ac7Post:046feee7-d643-4077-bc4a-1ebdc28ab3de">Re: In Laws... Grrr</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nothing irritates people more than not reacting when they are trying to provoke you.  Ignore her, welcome her gratiously, and enjoy your wedding.
    Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

    This.  Good luck!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_laws-grrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d41df06-8c36-418e-8000-19b1418e5ac7Post:046feee7-d643-4077-bc4a-1ebdc28ab3de">Re: In Laws... Grrr</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nothing irritates people more than not reacting when they are trying to provoke you.  Ignore her, welcome her gratiously, and enjoy your wedding.
    Posted by emarston1[/QUOTE]

    This is perfect!  I just have to stick to it!  I normally don't get worked up about stuff like this, you either like me or don't, but it's just hard when it's on your wedding day.  I don't want her to start anything in an effort to ruin our day, but I also don't want to have to tip toe around her to avoid it. 

    As for the comment about the other family members liking drama, I agree.  None of them defended us our even attempted to stop her from bad mouthing us, after that I'm sort of seeing them in a different light.  In my family, we stick together, that is clearly not the case with his.
  • edited January 2012
    Look at it this way, if they act shitoreuous at the wedding they will look like idiots and you the gracious family that overlooks mindless fools
    BabyFetus Ticker
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