Wedding Etiquette Forum

New here and have a question

So I'm getting married in about a month in Mass and then soon after I'm moving over to Ireland with FI. FI wants to have a big party over there sometime soon after I move, mainly for his friends and family that couldn't afford to come to America.

I am wondering how to go about this whole party. Should I send invites out or just inform people by word of mouth? If yes to the invites, what should be the wording since we are already married?

We will probably have the party at one of his friends bars. There is a big back room there that will fit at least 100 people. I'm just at a total loss of what to do.

Re: New here and have a question

  • NebbNebb member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    let the party just be a party, something informal. I would just WOM that youre having a party and not connect it to the wedding.
  • "Celebrate the marriage of blinkey and his girl"
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  • Maybe you could make it like a "hey we got married and moved to another country with cool accents" party.
  • FI lives in Ireland already. That is where he is originally from. I'm the only one moving.
  • Well, then they would be his friends so maybe you should let him worry about whether or not do invitations.
  • FI is blind so I will be doing most if not all the work

  • Hmm, ok well in that case I would follow shelly's advice...send out a casual invite stating something along the lines of "come celebrate the marriage of blinkey and his wife at so and so bar...."
  • Someone in FI/DH's family should plan this and send invitations, etc.  They all live there and they know all the social customs of that country and that area, etc. 

    I have a close friend who is married to a legally-blind guy and she tells me she has to fight the urge to do everything all of the time, that her husband is totally competent to do everything except see - and his family has been helping him and dealing with his challenges for many many years.  She's the new one in the family, and she needs to realize that all these systems are already in place. 
  • Kristin

    I think it's the opposite with FI and his family. He is the baby out of 4 and they all treat him like it. So do most of his friends. I pretty much make him do whatever he possibly can and I will help him out as needed.

    I guess the main reason why he can't decide whether to do the invites or not and what they should say, is because he's a guy. He doesn't know or care about etiquette.

    I think I will ask his sister for help. I'm just hoping she doesn't think I am a pain in the a**  making her be my party planner
  • Well if it won't actually be linked to the wedding you could treat it as just another party and send e-vites.
  • If FI has people's emails I could do e-vites. If not I will probably just do simple casual paper invites. thanks for the advice
  • I'll be moving in with my FI after we're married, and he lives in Houston (we grew up in Iowa).  He's wanting to have a kind of simple get together with all his friends (the kind of thing they already do all the time) to introduce me to the group, and to celebrate the marriage, and the apartment being furnished.  In his group, all the parties are word-of-mouth, so that's what we're doing here too.  Just do what ever is normal in the area, and host it like you'll host any other party.
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