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New here and have a question

blinkeysgirlblinkeysgirl
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

So I'm getting married in about a month in Mass and then soon after I'm moving over to Ireland with FI. FI wants to have a big party over there sometime soon after I move, mainly for his friends and family that couldn't afford to come to America.

I am wondering how to go about this whole party. Should I send invites out or just inform people by word of mouth? If yes to the invites, what should be the wording since we are already married?

We will probably have the party at one of his friends bars. There is a big back room there that will fit at least 100 people. I'm just at a total loss of what to do.

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Re: New here and have a question

  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    let the party just be a party, something informal. I would just WOM that youre having a party and not connect it to the wedding.
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    "Celebrate the marriage of blinkey and his girl"
    Photobucket
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  • Koopa17Koopa17 member
    500 Comments
    Maybe you could make it like a "hey we got married and moved to another country with cool accents" party.
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  • blinkeysgirlblinkeysgirl
    100 Comments
    FI lives in Ireland already. That is where he is originally from. I'm the only one moving.
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  • Koopa17Koopa17 member
    500 Comments
    Well, then they would be his friends so maybe you should let him worry about whether or not do invitations.
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  • blinkeysgirlblinkeysgirl
    100 Comments

    FI is blind so I will be doing most if not all the work

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  • Koopa17Koopa17 member
    500 Comments
    Hmm, ok well in that case I would follow shelly's advice...send out a casual invite stating something along the lines of "come celebrate the marriage of blinkey and his wife at so and so bar...."
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Someone in FI/DH's family should plan this and send invitations, etc.  They all live there and they know all the social customs of that country and that area, etc. 

    I have a close friend who is married to a legally-blind guy and she tells me she has to fight the urge to do everything all of the time, that her husband is totally competent to do everything except see - and his family has been helping him and dealing with his challenges for many many years.  She's the new one in the family, and she needs to realize that all these systems are already in place. 
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  • blinkeysgirlblinkeysgirl
    100 Comments
    Kristin

    I think it's the opposite with FI and his family. He is the baby out of 4 and they all treat him like it. So do most of his friends. I pretty much make him do whatever he possibly can and I will help him out as needed.

    I guess the main reason why he can't decide whether to do the invites or not and what they should say, is because he's a guy. He doesn't know or care about etiquette.

    I think I will ask his sister for help. I'm just hoping she doesn't think I am a pain in the a**  making her be my party planner
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  • nackiejicholenackiejichole member
    100 Comments
    Well if it won't actually be linked to the wedding you could treat it as just another party and send e-vites.
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  • blinkeysgirlblinkeysgirl
    100 Comments
    If FI has people's emails I could do e-vites. If not I will probably just do simple casual paper invites. thanks for the advice
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  • Stallmanj1Stallmanj1
    10 Comments
    I'll be moving in with my FI after we're married, and he lives in Houston (we grew up in Iowa).  He's wanting to have a kind of simple get together with all his friends (the kind of thing they already do all the time) to introduce me to the group, and to celebrate the marriage, and the apartment being furnished.  In his group, all the parties are word-of-mouth, so that's what we're doing here too.  Just do what ever is normal in the area, and host it like you'll host any other party.
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