Open bar limit

Rachel405

I know everyone's stance on cash bar and that they should be avoided, but what about having a "cap" on the open bar? Intuitively it feels rude...but I don't know if that's just me or not. Only about half the guests drink, and it's an afternoon lunchtime wedding, so I don't anticipate a huge problem, but we were thinking of offering beer and wine only and setting a 1,000 limit on beer and wine and when it hits that no more alcohol is served. I didn't think of this on my own--the venue offered it as an option as we are on a very tight budget.

My fear is just that if we have an unlimited open bar we're going to get a ridiculous bill after the wedding since we are doing it "by consumption". Ahhhh and my fiance and I don't even drink, but FI wants to have alcohol available as there are many drinkers on his side of the family. Anyone?????

Maggie0829

So when the "cap" is reached will the bar just close down for alcoholic beverages or will guests have to start purchasing?

raes19

Limiting it to beer and wine will definately help keep the cost down and is perfectly acceptable. I really wouldn't set a cap, and I think being an afternoon reception you don't have to worry about as many people going crazy with the open bar.

Rachel405

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-limit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b06e2ec-8e06-4531-9bf6-2400bf629a88Post:c3f1ea66-0f18-4587-9de8-d8c01e9dedb0">Re: Open bar limit</a>:
[QUOTE]Having an afternoon event and limiting what you are serving should do a good job of keeping the bill in check. I'd tell the venue X is your cap, but they need to approach you before they just shut things down if it's reached.  That way, you can decide if you want to increase the cap day of.  For example, if they tell you the cap is reached and there are still two hours left in your reception, I'd add more to the cap.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

Thank you. That sounds good. I'm hoping that we don't run into that. FI and I are setting aside about 1k for alcohol, anything above that is going to have to be put on a credit card and we don't want to go into debt over this wedding.

Having said that, we'll do what we have to do to make sure our guests have a good time, so I don't want to not offer alcohol..

Also, to respond to PPs, the venue said the way it works is that once you hit the cap it becomes a cash bar. I hate that though. sigh.

Loopyseven

Ditto Duds - I had it all typed out but I had to reboot my computer so I lost it.  Just ask the venue to check with you before changing to cash bar so you can increase the cap if you can depending on how late in the evening it is.  I'd do anything you can to avoid going to a cash bar at all though.

SunriseAmber

Duds, that is really good advice. I might consider doing this at my own wedding now that you've explained this.

SB1512

I think it sounds ok, even though it may become a cash bar.  At most of the venues we looked at there was a 4hr bar with a 5hr reception (where we ended up booking was one of the few places that offered open bar the entire 5hours)........the bar would still be open the last hour, but guests would have to pay for their drinks.  I think most places do it that way to give people a chance to "sober up" the last hour of the reception.  So, perhaps it will work out that you don't hit your limit until the last hour of the reception.

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-limit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b06e2ec-8e06-4531-9bf6-2400bf629a88Post:29e2556a-98ad-4387-b0dc-e948dd76791c">Re: Open bar limit</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it sounds ok, even though it may become a cash bar.  At most of the venues we looked at there was a 4hr bar with a 5hr reception (where we ended up booking was one of the few places that offered open bar the entire 5hours)........the bar would still be open the last hour, but guests would have to pay for their drinks.  I think most places do it that way to give people a chance to "sober up" the last hour of the reception.  So, perhaps it will work out that you don't hit your limit until the last hour of the reception.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

<div>See, here's the issue with that:</div><div>
</div><div>Lets say a guest has been drinking wine all evening.  Then they go up 45 minutes before the reception is over to get another glass of wine.  They aren't expecting to suddenly have to pay.  What if they don't even have any cash at the wedding with them?  That is so embarrassing.  or better yet, they offered to grab drinks for other people at their table and get up there, order the drinks, THEN find out they are stuck with the tab for the table. I would go to great lengths to avoid embarrassing someone at my wedding.</div>

AdeleDazeem

If you want people to sober up, you close the bar... not make them pay.

Rachel405

Most guests who drink live over an hour away, so I'm just really hoping that will curb the drinking. I will be so bummed if we have to pay a ton of money for alcohol after the wedding. I know it's the right thing to do, but I still just hope that doesn't happen. I didn't want to have alcohol at the wedding but Fi kindly insisted we should oblige his family that does a fair share of drinking. UGH!

monkeysip

If we go with our first choice venue, then we're doing something like what Duds said.

We're going to tell our caterering manager a limit on the alcohol (probably more like 2-3k because it's an evening wedding), and she can come tell us when we reach the limit.  If it's still early, we may increase the limit, but if the reception is winding down in the next hour anyways, we may just shut down the alcohol and switch to only non-alcoholic beverages.

Callmefia

I've been to many weddings with consumption bars that turn into cash bars. The DJ announces a "last call" so everyone knows.

At the last wedding I went to, family of the B&G found out why it was closing, and ponied up money to keep it open because they wanted to keep drinking. It was a REALLY fun wedding =D

At my sister's wedding. Bridal party was covered after the last call, I think that was courtesy of the venue, not at the courtesy of the grooms parents who were hosting the bar. They were approached with the bill when it got a little exorbitant.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-limit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b06e2ec-8e06-4531-9bf6-2400bf629a88Post:0a0a4995-71cd-4fa2-a943-339ce27c831d">Re: Open bar limit</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I've been to many weddings with consumption bars that turn into cash bars. The DJ announces a "last call" so everyone knows.</strong> At the last wedding I went to, family of the B&G found out why it was closing, and ponied up money to keep it open because they wanted to keep drinking. It was a REALLY fun wedding =D At my sister's wedding. Bridal party was covered after the last call, I think that was courtesy of the venue, not at the courtesy of the grooms parents who were hosting the bar. They were approached with the bill when it got a little exorbitant.
Posted by Callmefia[/QUOTE]

This is what would have happened had we chosen a venue that did not offer an open bar that lasted as long as the reception.  However, our reception offers open bar the entire night so it's not an issue for us.  Had we chosen one of the other places that turned from open to cash bar during the last hour we would have made sure guests knew about it through word of mouth before the wedding.

dubird

We're having to provide the alcohol for our reception, so it's fairly easy for us.  Is there a way you can provide what you want served, and when it runs out, then there's no more bar, so to speak?

Rachel405

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-limit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b06e2ec-8e06-4531-9bf6-2400bf629a88Post:aec4dc63-3206-42f9-b464-a379c8d329ef">Re: Open bar limit</a>:
[QUOTE]We're having to provide the alcohol for our reception, so it's fairly easy for us.  Is there a way you can provide what you want served, and when it runs out, then there's no more bar, so to speak?
Posted by dubird[/QUOTE]

It's a restaurant, so we can't provide anything ourselves. I wish that was an option! I'd just get a bunch of kegs and call it a day! Lol

thanks for all the feedback everyone. I

Rummi302

Is there any way to just pay to have X number of bottles of wine set out? That way you're still controlling costs, people get to drink, but you also know how much the tab will be at the end of the reception. 

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-limit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b06e2ec-8e06-4531-9bf6-2400bf629a88Post:44d8f661-1118-4063-89d2-d179898d22c7">Re: Open bar limit</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open bar limit : See, here's the issue with that: Lets say a guest has been drinking wine all evening.  Then they go up 45 minutes before the reception is over to get another glass of wine.  They aren't expecting to suddenly have to pay.  What if they don't even have any cash at the wedding with them?  <strong>That is so embarrassing.  or better yet, they offered to grab drinks for other people at their table and get up there, order the drinks, THEN find out they are stuck with the tab for the table.</strong> I would go to great lengths to avoid embarrassing someone at my wedding.
Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

<div>This happened to me.  I didn't have my purse, so I got a friend to pay for the 3 glasses of wine I'd just ordered.  How do you not awkwardly ask some chick that you barely know to reimburse a friend?</div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, $1000 on beer and wine should go pretty far at an afternoon wedding where only about half the guests drink.  </div>

sarahlm619

OP -- my reception is at a restaurant and the restaurant is allowing us to purchase kegs and cases of wine through them -- it's still more expensive than if we were able to purchase them on our own -- but cheaper than per drink/bottle/etc etc -- certainly something to look into!