Alcohol free dinner

squirrly

I think the style of the reception determines what's tacky or not in terms of alcohol service.  If it's a brunch reception and a wide array of juice, lemonade, tea, soda, coffee, etc. is available, I wouldn't find it tacky to not have alcohol.  I would expect the reception to be a light eat/talk/congratulate the bride & groom/go sort of affair.

If it's dinner at a restaurant, I would expect alcohol to be available - as that's an occasion at which I would normally buy myself a drink were I buying my dinner.  I feel like inviting me for a meal and expecting me to behave wildly differently (either in food or beverage choice) than I would were I eating out on my own dine WOULD be tacky.  If you only served seafood - tacky.  If you didn't offer a veg option - tacky.  If you didn't offer a normal spread of beverages (including alcohol) - tacky.  

It doesn't have to be every alcohol known to man.  But, beer, wine & mojitos would seem to be a very appropriate set of options. 

ExpatPumpkin

Sounds like he's cheap and because he doesn't like alcohol he doesn't want to pay for everyone else to drink.  I think that's selfish and not the attitude of a gracious host.

Since you're having a dinner reception, alcohol is very appropriate, especially considering your choice of venue.  If you don't have alcohol, your dinner will be boring - people like alcohol when they celebrate  

Do you really want your reception to be a snoozefest just because your FI doesn't like the taste of booze?  I'm not a heavy drinker, but I'd be an extremely disappointed guest...

Also, you have TWO YEARS to save up for the alcohol tab...  Tell your FI that the reception is a thank you to your guests and that if they like to drink, there should be alcohol.  Especially since your venue is a culturally festive restaurant.

 Otherwise have a cake and punch reception at the church.

Hylmarey

You should make a search and find a question I read in the Q&A about this with some ideas for alcohol substitutes. I don't remember what the question is, but you can search it by "alcohol" or "dry wedding".

Goldlie11

I spoke to FI and told him that a dry reception is not going to work.  We will serve wine, sangria, and beer.  That is a fair compromise.  We discussed other ways to cut costs that would not affect our guests in any way.   Thanks to all who shared their opinions.

Hylmarey

<div>I totally agree with this:</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_alcohol-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3b76b2ff-7fa1-4273-bebb-e3425a86af58Post:d1bfa39f-8d15-409a-9b76-547acc212f84">Re: Alcohol free dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]It seems like he's being judgemental of those who do drink. I understand if he has a huge moral or religious opposition to alcohol, and therefore doesn't want to spend money providing it to guests. That's a given. If he just doesn't LIKE alcohol and therefore thinks it's a waste of money, you need to explain that being a good host isn't dependent on HIS preferences, but what makes the guests comfortable. So it all boils down to whether or not he has a good reason, I guess. Be fair about what a good reason is. And if you both agree that you want a dry reception, that's not tacky. You just need to both agree. (In the same vein, if a vegetarian didn't want to offer me meat because of a moral opposition, that's perfectly understandable to me.)
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

jewelz22

So it sounds like your FI is on board with the reduced liquor option, and that it wasn't so much that he felt uncomfortable around it. However, how would all you guys respond if he had been uncomfortable?

We are in a situation where my fiance's father is a Baptist minister, and his sweet grandparents don't drink and are very uncomfortable around it and asked if we would consider not having alcohol at the wedding.  My mother and stepfather are both in AA and are therefore also not big on being around alcohol. Does this sound like a dysfunctional family comedy or what?  We have been trying to think of ways to minimize discomfort for them, but not restrict our other guests.  Some ideas were having glasses that are not transparent, but I can't imagine not having wine out of anything other than a wine glass. Are there any classy versions? Another idea was to have 2 versions of punch so at a glance you can't tell which is which.  Any other ideas on how we can shelter them a bit? Thanks!