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Etiquette

Polish dollar dance

First of all - I think dollar dances are tacky and sleazy and will not be having one at my wedding.

That being said, is the dollar dance is a Polish tradition, or a Polish-American tradition? My FILs are Polish (born in Poland), and I am having visions of FI uncle handing me some zloty and starting to polka. So does this actually happen in Poland?

I understand that this is not an etiquette question, but you girls seem so knowledgable. :)
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Re: Polish dollar dance

  • According to Wikipedia, yes it could have originated in Poland in the 20th century.
  • I am of Polish descent. My grandparents were straight off the boat. I'd never heard of a dollar dance until I came to theknot. I'm not comfortable with people attributing this to Polish people. It may be a tradition in some Polish families.

    It's a tradition in H's Greek family (we didn't do it though). Yanno?
  • I am 75% Polish. I am the 2nd generation off the boat so to speak and yes we polka to it. There is actually a ton of symbolism to what folks on here call the dollar dance. I dont know if it actually came from Poland, I just know all the tradition and symbolism behind it.

    We will be having one. ::shrugs:: Most of us are polish as is FI's family so its really expected. However, I am not looking forward to my veil being ripped off. Hopefully they dont pin it in too tight. There is not a single person in my wedding party who is married that did not have one, all of our immediate family did, so I think we are fine. It truly is not about the money to us.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polish-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c80f48b-a350-4056-a9ba-308ef1f703f6Post:8e196436-ba6a-4dd4-aa74-b592e4ce8592">Re: Polish dollar dance</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am of Polish descent. My grandparents were straight off the boat. I'd never heard of a dollar dance until I came to theknot. I'm not comfortable with people attributing this to Polish people. It may be a tradition in some Polish families. It's a tradition in H's Greek family (we didn't do it though). Yanno?
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    What part of Poland perhaps its regional?
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  • I've only been to one wedding with a dollar dance and the bride was of Polish descent and the groom, Italian.

    No one minded the dollar dance because the bride's cousin was a member of a rather famous rock band and they played for the wedding

    haha, guys were tossing twenties at them

    But I don't think I've attended any other Polish weddings or one with a dollar dance.
  • Ok. I guess I will have to wait and see. I will be attending his cousin's wedding in August so I will see what she does.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polish-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c80f48b-a350-4056-a9ba-308ef1f703f6Post:89521c86-1a65-4238-9df4-a136ce420d9d">Re: Polish dollar dance</a>:
    [QUOTE]However, I am not looking forward to my veil being ripped off. Hopefully they dont pin it in too tight. 
    Posted by daffydillie[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>They rip your veil off????

    </div>
  • i'm from a very polish family and have never seen the dollar dance done. instead,the bride wears a doily (sp?) and the groom wears a tacky hat with baby rattles and diapers and all sortof strange things... they sing a polish song. we aren't  doing it, its not really our jam. but it is funny the different things thst are thenorm in different circles.
    09.08.12
  • SH that is what I imagine every dollar dance turning into. I am sorry, but if someone hands me a bunch of cash, I am gunna count it. Most of us would. And is makes you look like a greedy pig. That is why it does not belong at a wedding.
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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I have been to 2 weddings here in South Louisiana and both had a money dance.  Neither I nor my FI like it so we wen't have one but I don't judge it.  I have no idea about the origin but it is pretty much expected here.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am German and Polish, and it seems to come from both sides. General Eastern European maybe?  

    Whichever it is, I'm not doing it either.  I think it had an honest place, way way back in history, when young couples starting out really didn't have anything, and that money was the only gifts they would receive to get started on.  Now none of that is necessary, so it's just tacky and greedy.
  • My family lived in Poland for awhile, but didn't take any of the traditions with them to America. I never heard of the dollar dance until TK. I don't like using "tradition" as an excuse to do something. If you want to do it, do it. Own up to wanting to do it, but don't bring all of Poland into it.
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  • saacjwsaacjw member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2012
    So, I have two parts of Polish family, one that does it, one that's kind of meh about the whole thing. The side that does it settled in the Midwest, the side that didn't on the East Coast. My Fiance's family does it, and they're not Polish or really at this point strongly culturally linked with any ancsetral homes. They're also from the same part of the Midwest as my Polish family that does it... I wonder if in the US it's become a largely regional thing. My purely ancedotal evidence to be thrown into the mix. 
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  • daffydilliedaffydillie member
    100 Comments
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polish-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c80f48b-a350-4056-a9ba-308ef1f703f6Post:30884fa5-6d84-4f11-92dd-a9f93a145211">Re: Polish dollar dance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polish dollar dance : They rip your veil off????
    Posted by doublenn[/QUOTE]

    After the groom "catches" the bride, they pull the veil out of your hair. Yup, it sucks. I dont know, all the weddings I have gone to with it people just give less in the card. Thats what I do anyways. I also hand out dollars in line. I have never seen anyone get any substainal amount of money from it. But we have smaller weddings generally. The money bag or apron or if they pin them is handled by the Matron of Honor and packed away with the card boxes. I have never seen anyone count the money there. But then again, we tie them in knots or bows and some people make the ones very difficult to open. My best friend still has her favorite one somewhere.

    Generally you give a dollar, get a shot, spin the bride around, make a circle clapping and shaking some napkins, the last person in line is generally the dad, then the people watching encircle the bride to hide her from the groom. The groom and groomsmen try to get to the bride. After the bride is caught, the brides mom or gram takes the veil out of her hair, and the groom carries the bride out. Generally its the end of the night.

    Its fun. I always have a blast. Its a heck of a workout for the bride though. Everyone participates with few exceptions, the last wedding I was at even the caterers got in on it and the groom crowd surfed to the bride. She however was carried out and came back in in her reception dress.

    Although, I have never heard it called the dollar dance until TK. I heard a few times of the groom doing it too but have never seen it. I have also not seen a lot of the tacky money grubbing stuff go on during them like I have on here either. Most of the weddings I have gone too have been of people just starting out so I have never seen anything wrong with it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polish-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c80f48b-a350-4056-a9ba-308ef1f703f6Post:2a4ff1a6-c5b7-42db-b8a4-e3ab75d000d9">Re: Polish dollar dance</a>:
    [QUOTE]SH that is what I imagine every dollar dance turning into. I am sorry, but if someone hands me a bunch of cash, I am gunna count it. Most of us would. And is makes you look like a greedy pig. That is why it does not belong at a wedding.
    Posted by mjmchugh86[/QUOTE]
    wowza. greedy pig is pretty harsh. who knew someone could get so worked up about a dollar dance? 
    09.08.12
  • H's family is 100% polish and there were no dollar dances at any of the weddings I've been to in the last 5 years, including ours.

    His family's tradition with the veil is WAY different.  They have the father daughter dance as the first dance of the night, then the BMs all circle up around the bride and there's a little dance ritual, then the MOB removes the veil (gently, I might add) and ties on an apron (that is lacy and not as unattractive as it sounds).  It's supposed to symbolize the switch from bride to wife.  After the apron ceremony the bride and groom have their first dance. 
  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    Non-dollar dance people also grossly count money in front of guests occasionally - when I was younger I remember attending a wedding where the groom sat by the gift card box and opened the cards as people put them in, and had a stack next to him.  He was announcing the count to his friends periodically.  The money box was also the only gift he helped move at the end of the night - I know because my family and I helped the bride, wedding party, and her parents carry out boxed gifts, which tend to be most of the gifts given at the wedding in my circle.  Everyone was pretty appalled by the groom's behavior.
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  • I'm Mexican and my entire family has done the dollar dance.  I will be breaking that tradition...
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  • My baptist uncle married catholic aunt.  All of their kids had dollar dances.  Go figure....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_polish-dollar-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3c80f48b-a350-4056-a9ba-308ef1f703f6Post:fba0a3c0-9fa2-4ef2-bac5-afec44be2a36">Re: Polish dollar dance</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Polish dollar dance : What part of Poland perhaps its regional?
    Posted by daffydillie[/QUOTE]
    Mostly north central, but also a little bit southeast.
  • rmmaedrmmaed member
    Second Anniversary First Comment

    I am Filipino and we also do the money dance tradition. I won't be having it on my wedding though.

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