Please be gentle.

GoofyAssChick

First off, I've reviewed the Ettiquette board by doing searches for my situation but haven't exactly found one that fit. 

My FI and I and have been planning a September 2013 wedding.  The major deposits have been made (many of which are non-refundable) on our venue, caterer, officiant, etc and my wedding dress is ordered and due to come in next month.  Our families have been wonderful with helping to pick up antique mason jars and trinkets for our wedding.  All of our centerpieces are ready except the flowers to go in them.  I'm months ahead of schedule in getting everything planned out and it's been wonderful... up until yesterday.  

Yesterday my FI woke up with no ability to move any muscles in the left side of his face.  My FI does not have health insurance.  He switched jobs back in March for a better opportunity but they don't offer insurance coverage except for a health savings plan that they do not contribute to.  My FI opted out thinking it was stupid and that he was a healthy man and decided to play russion roulette until we got married and then he would enroll under mine.  My FI debated seeing a doctor because of not having insurance but I convinced him it was too serious to put off and got him into my doctor.  He has been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy.  Today, he's even worse than yesterday.  His left eye and left side of his mouth are considerably drooped down.  He has uncontrollable tears forming in his left eye because of his inability to blink and he drools when he eats from the left side.  His speech is slurred and it's difficult to understand what he's saying.  He's absolutely pitiful.  We're told that it will run it's course and eventually get better on it's own in weeks, months or years.  The doctor said each case is different but in four weeks he wants to start facial and speech therapy if it's not better on its own in a month.  

Today we decided it was probably best to get married as soon as possible in order to get him on my insurance.  We're supposed to be married in 11 months but the urgency of the situation really needs to make it happen.  I emailed our officiant and she has agreed to do our ceremony whenever we choose.  I've yet to tell family or friends.  A few co-workers know only because I've been such a nervous wreck the last two days and trying to figure out what to do.  

All of the money we've paid and a dress that is yet to arrive.  It just breaks my heart so we want to continue with our "wedding plans" by having a vow renewal ceremony on our already chosen wedding date.  I won't be lying to anyone about getting married once we officially do it.  But I've read in ettiquette I shouldn't wear my wedding dress if it's a vow renewal.  I don't care about the walking down the aisle, being given away, bouquets or bachlorette parties and all that jazz.  But I really did want to wear my dress and have a nice party to celebrate.  We had planned to invite 120 guests all consisting of friends and family.  I'm pretty sure they will understand.  I'm 35 and have dreamed of wearing a beautiful wedding dress my entire life.   

Should I continue on with our plans as normal except to change how our ceremony will be conducted and the more traditonal aspects of it?  My mind is just racing right now trying to do everything right.  We haven't told our family or friends yet and I'm actually not sure what to say or if we should invite people to our hurried wedding.  I'm just very emotional and don't want to do anything wrong.  Any advice would be appreciated.  

 

achiduck

There's a couple things to consider here before the wedding aspect even comes into play.

1) He's been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy so it's now a pre-existing condition and you'll have to list it on his application for your health insurance which may result in a) him being denied totally or b) being accepted but coverage not provided for whatever treatments/medications he may need. 

2) If you don't list it on the application it's considered insurance fraud. 

So let's say you do get married asap and he does get the health insurance you can continue planning your celebration, but it's no longer a wedding, it's a vow renewal. I would also advise telling people that you're married. Lying about it only results in hurt feelings. Only you can decide what's right for you.

Sharpschruter22

The rest of the E knotties will give you the info you are asking for, but I just want to chime in and let you know of my experience with Bell's Palsy to ease your mind.

One of my best friends had the same thing happen to her and she was terrified. She just woke up one day and wasn't able to move half of her face. It only lasted 3 weeks and she was completely back to normal.

I know you must be scared and frustrated, but he will be ok. Physical Therapy definitely helps.

GoofyAssChick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:5c1aee4b-bb32-4e53-83e3-4f160f8ea228">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]There's a couple things to consider here before the wedding aspect even comes into play. 1) He's been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy so it's now a pre-existing condition and you'll have to list it on his application for your health insurance which may result in a) him being denied totally or b) being accepted but coverage not provided for whatever treatments/medications he may need.  2) If you don't list it on the application it's considered insurance fraud.  So let's say you do get married asap and he does get the health insurance you can continue planning your celebration, but it's no longer a wedding, it's a vow renewal. I would also advise telling people that you're married. Lying about it only results in hurt feelings. Only you can decide what's right for you.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I hadn't even considered the first aspect.  But I ran the situation over with my HR person today and she didn't seem to concerned except for my FI's health.  Great.  Now more worry. 

If we do decide to go forward with this, it will definitley be a vow renewal ceremony and it would be stated as such.  I've already been looking into re-doing our invitations we already have.  I would never lie about him being my husband.  I look forward to marrying him whether it's this month or next year and I want the world to know he's my husband. 

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:35cc248b-1430-4811-ba33-57926ee59471">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please be gentle. : I hadn't even considered the first aspect.  But I ran the situation over with my HR person today and she didn't seem to concerned except for my FI's health.  Great.  Now more worry.  If we do decide to go forward with this, it will definitley be a vow renewal ceremony and it would be stated as such.  I've already been looking into re-doing our invitations we already have.  I would never lie about him being my husband.  I look forward to marrying him whether it's this month or next year and I want the world to know he's my husband. 
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm sorry to cause you extra worry, but ti's definitely something that needs to be considered. </div>

bunni727

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:35cc248b-1430-4811-ba33-57926ee59471">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Please be gentle. : I hadn't even considered the first aspect.  But I ran the situation over with my HR person today and she didn't seem to concerned except for my FI's health.  Great.  Now more worry.  <strong>If we do decide to go forward with this, it will definitley be a vow renewal ceremony and it would be stated as such</strong>.  I've already been looking into re-doing our invitations we already have.  I would never lie about him being my husband.  I look forward to marrying him whether it's this month or next year and I want the world to know he's my husband. 
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]

Then your plans sound fine. Throw a ballin' party to celebrate your marraige with family and friends. T&P for you and your FI.

Also, this may be an unpop-op, but I wouldn't bat an eye at you for wearing your dress. Sure, it's a bridal gown and you wouldn't be a bride, but this is one thing that doesn't affect your guests at all. Some people may judge you a little for it, you just have to decide if you care.

GoofyAssChick

The good thing about our original plans is that it was always going to be casual anyway. Outside ceremony in a field and the reception held in a barn with BBQ and fried chicken and southern side dishes to be served. I feel like by having a vow renewal that is casual and not fancy people will also be more comfortable, at least I hope.

TheVirginians

Your FI's health is the top priority. Take care of him first. You can always have the party as planned, so your only concern would be the dress, and, in the great scheme of things, that really isn't much of a concern right now.

shanliann

I dont know much about Etiquette but if I were in your position, Id wear that dress proud!!!! you changed your plans out of love and support of your husband(or soon to be husband!) i think its different then if the 2 of you just ran off to vegas or got married at a court house. People are going to talk no matter what you do, if you wear your dress some may roll there eyes and if you dont wear it some will wonder....

also if you wanted to do a bachlorette parties or anything like that, IN MY OPINION they can still be done just not called that. After all you and your husband are going through, I surely think you could use a girls spa day to relax. and surely your husband would enjoy a boys day with some football!

Cheers to you for standing by your husband and doing what is right and best for the 2 of you, he is a lucky guy!

Good luck with everything and try to occassionally take a deep breath!

hoffse

I think it's fine - I don't really have an issue with women wearing wedding dresses to vow renewals in general.  Like PP said, it's no skin off my back what you wear, and particularly in a case like this I wouldn't think twice about it.  You're marrying him early for a medical emergency.  Even though this is going to pass, he clearly still needs some special medical attention until it has run its course.

I think as long as you are being upfront about it, let your VIPs know ASAP, and are willing to just forego things like gifts and prewedding parties, I would have no issues at all. 

As for the preexisting conditions thing, be sure to call your insurance company instead of just talking to your HR person.  She may not be as well versed in their policies.  Don't worry about that though until you hear one way or the other - your policy says whatever it says, and there is nothing in the world you or he will be able to do to change that.  Focus on what you can do to help him right now and call your insurance company as soon as they have business hours in the morning.

Best of luck!

freebread03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:5568a493-9326-4832-b033-c530a553cdd1">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine - I don't really have an issue with women wearing wedding dresses to vow renewals in general.  Like PP said, it's no skin off my back what you wear, and particularly in a case like this I wouldn't think twice about it.  You're marrying him early for a medical emergency.  Even though this is going to pass, he clearly still needs some special medical attention until it has run its course. I think as long as you are being upfront about it, let your VIPs know ASAP, and are willing to just forego things like gifts and prewedding parties, I would have no issues at all.  <strong>As for the preexisting conditions thing, be sure to call your insurance company instead of just talking to your HR person.  She may not be as well versed in their policies.</strong>  Don't worry about that though until you hear one way or the other - your policy says whatever it says, and there is nothing in the world you or he will be able to do to change that.  Focus on what you can do to help him right now and call your insurance company as soon as they have business hours in the morning. Best of luck!
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This.  Your HR person probably doesn't understand in detail the various health insurance policies or health/insurance law that determines what can and doesnt need to be covered in terms of pre-existing conditions.
</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck to you--sounds like you have the right idea on how to do your vow renewal.</div>

Xstatic3333

Lurker herejust wanted to share that my dad had Bells Palsy as a child way back in the 1950s, and now is fine. I wish you both the best; it seems so scary! It sounds like the symptoms may resolve easily, but if the underlying cause could be Lyme I'd do whatever it takes to get him on insurance and looked at by a doctor. I'd have no qualms being a guest at a vow renewal in your situation if it helps his health care prospects. Edited for spelling.

LizM61409

Not to get all political on everyone, but one of the more popular provisions of the Affordable Care Act is that insurance companies are no longer allowed to exclude you because of a pre-existing condition, although I think they can still charge you more for it. Because of this, your fiance should be able to get your insurance despite already having Bells palsy

allychase

Just want to share my recent experience with Bells Palsy. My FFIL had a bad sinus infection that he let go for weeks and the swelling reached his facial nerves which led to temporary Bell's palsy. Did your FI have a sinus infection? It's possible that could be the case. As far as your wedding, life happens. Sometimes the women on here have too much tunnel vision for their own good. I wouldn't bat an eye if you did this to get your FI back in good health.

maggieandrey

Health Insurance companies can no longer decline coverage for having a pre-existing condition. They can charge you more if you're going out and getting health insurance on the free market, but if you're enrolling at your work, they have an already legally contracted rate for you and marriage is a "life event." So legal health insurance wise, you won't have an issue. (I'm assuming you do actually live in the US)

Best of luck to you, I think as long as you're honest, it's not a problem at all!

femme55

I wouldn't be offended if you wore your bridal gown to a vow renewal.  I don't see how that in any way negatively affects any of your guests.  You are holding a big party for all your guests, wear what you like!  Best wishes to your FI for a speedy recovery.

loca4pook

First of all, I am sorry about your fiance. My mom had it and it really did go away...so hang in there.

Wear your dress and stick with your regular places, you deserve it. I think people will totally understand and won't have an issue with it under the circumstances. I personally don't think it is that big of a deal as people here seem to think about this whole topic. If you aren't lying, why would guests ever care?? They are still getting fed, participating in the celebration, and having fun.

lauraanne9

First, I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Love, thoughts and prayers your direction.

My advice, for what it is worth, is this....

Get married now and invite those people you want to share the day.  In a year on the original date, have the vow renewal and wear the dress...but keep that ceremony and reception to those who are aware of all aspects of the situation.  If you were a casual friend and I didn;t know the details of why the vow renewal and the dress, it might seem odd.  But if you were a close friend and I knew the story, I would just be happy for you that you got to wear your dress and have your day in the dress, even if it was a vow renewal and not the actual wedding.

So, as long as everyone at the 2nd ceremony/vow renewal story knows all the details, I think it is ok.  Sometimes etiquette rules have to bend a bit for situations at hand.  But, I say to hold firm to a smaller guest list of only those "in the know"

Jen4948

I'm very sorry about what is happening.

I think you can get married now and wear your dress, even if it's a quiet wedding.  You'll still  be married and that's what counts.

Best of luck to you and your FI.

mrskloop

I would think you would be perfectly fine to have a celebration on your originally planned wedding date and do everything you would have done if it were your actual wedding. No one will care since I'm sure they understand the reasons and that health is the number one thing to worry about here. Have fun with your wedding AND your vow renewal!

As for your fiance, I hope he gets better! About 6 years ago, I had a doctor tell me that they saw beginning signs of bells pallsy when I went in with joint swelling in my ankle and wrist and loss of eye sight, which all happened to be temporary, thank God! But it was all on one side of my body, so I was nervous. They just gave me an antibiotic though. So I got a second opinion and it turns out it was Lyme Disease, which can cause Bells Pallsy and they were able to give me lots more meds and everything is fine, except it caused arthritis in some of the joints. So, my point is, get a few opinions if you can and have them do tests.

LondonLisa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:5edc9efa-36b4-4425-9bab-2940a5d620fd">Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]First off, I've reviewed the Ettiquette board by doing searches for my situation but haven't exactly found one that fit.  My FI and I and have been planning a September 2013 wedding.  The major deposits have been made (many of which are non-refundable) on our venue, caterer, officiant, etc and my wedding dress is ordered and due to come in next month.  Our families have been wonderful with helping to pick up antique mason jars and trinkets for our wedding.  All of our centerpieces are ready except the flowers to go in them.  I'm months ahead of schedule in getting everything planned out and it's been wonderful... up until yesterday.   Yesterday my FI woke up with no ability to move any muscles in the left side of his face.  My FI does not have health insurance.  He switched jobs back in March for a better opportunity but they don't offer insurance coverage except for a health savings plan that they do not contribute to.  My FI opted out thinking it was stupid and that he was a healthy man and decided to play russion roulette until we got married and then he would enroll under mine.  My FI debated seeing a doctor because of not having insurance but I convinced him it was too serious to put off and got him into my doctor.  He has been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy.  Today, he's even worse than yesterday.  His left eye and left side of his mouth are considerably drooped down.  He has uncontrollable tears forming in his left eye because of his inability to blink and he drools when he eats from the left side.  His speech is slurred and it's difficult to understand what he's saying.  He's absolutely pitiful.  We're told that it will run it's course and eventually get better on it's own in weeks, months or years.  The doctor said each case is different but in four weeks he wants to start facial and speech therapy if it's not better on its own in a month.   Today we decided it was probably best to get married as soon as possible in order to get him on my insurance.  We're supposed to be married in 11 months but the urgency of the situation really needs to make it happen.  I emailed our officiant and she has agreed to do our ceremony whenever we choose.  I've yet to tell family or friends.  A few co-workers know only because I've been such a nervous wreck the last two days and trying to figure out what to do.   All of the money we've paid and a dress that is yet to arrive.  It just breaks my heart so we want to continue with our "wedding plans" by having a vow renewal ceremony on our already chosen wedding date.  I won't be lying to anyone about getting married once we officially do it.  But I've read in ettiquette I shouldn't wear my wedding dress if it's a vow renewal.  I don't care about the walking down the aisle, being given away, bouquets or bachlorette parties and all that jazz.  But I really did want to wear my dress and have a nice party to celebrate.  We had planned to invite 120 guests all consisting of friends and family.  I'm pretty sure they will understand.  I'm 35 and have dreamed of wearing a beautiful wedding dress my entire life.    Should I continue on with our plans as normal except to change how our ceremony will be conducted and the more traditonal aspects of it?  My mind is just racing right now trying to do everything right.  We haven't told our family or friends yet and I'm actually not sure what to say or if we should invite people to our hurried wedding.  I'm just very emotional and don't want to do anything wrong.  Any advice would be appreciated.    
Posted by GoofyAssChick[/QUOTE]


Don't worry about the party now- focus on the health care! <u>You might not have to do a quick wedding for insurance reasons!!!
</u>
It says that you are in Ohio so check this out: <a href="http://www.healthcare.gov/law/features/choices/pre-existing-condition-insurance-plan/oh.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.healthcare.gov/law/features/choices/pre-existing-condition-insurance-plan/oh.html</a>
 and more info here: <a href="https://www.ohiohighriskpool.com/" rel="nofollow">https://www.ohiohighriskpool.com/</a>

 It is an insurance plan specifically for people with preexisting conditions. It is usually low cost, so it actually might be cheaper for him to get this instead of going on your insurance.
If he has been uninsured for more than 6 months, he can get on this programme. It is to act as a stop gap until the ACA comes into full effect in 2014.

I'm not trying to sound ominus, but it is more likely than not he will be denied coverage on your insurance due to this condition or your premuims will skyrocket. I  HIGHLY suggest you check it this programme as it is specifcally designed for this situation.

sarabellam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:14084dfe-d91b-47a8-88cd-ae109e3f61bb">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Not to get all political on everyone, but one of the more popular provisions of the Affordable Care Act is that insurance companies are no longer allowed to exclude you because of a pre-existing condition</strong>, although I think they can still charge you more for it. Because of this, your fiance should be able to get your insurance despite already having Bells palsy
Posted by LizM61409[/QUOTE]

I thought that provision of the law doesn't take effect until 2014? Regardless, OP, I wish you the best with your situation. As long as you don't withhold the truth from your guests, I don't see any reason you shouldn't rock the dress.

scooterpie7

I am not in the US so have no advice about the insurance situation, but I just wanted to say that in my opinion, if you are upfront and honest about the fact that you are already married (which you have said you will be), then whatever you choose to do or wear at your vow renewal/celebration down the track is completely up to you. If you were a friend or family member of mine, I would certainly not begrudge you wearing a white gown/walking down the aisle/having a first dance if those are things you have looked forward to and still wish to do. It is not just a charade to do those things in front of the people you love and who love you, as long as you are not lying to them. It can still be a beautiful and important and happy day. There will always be people out there who suggest it is not proper to wear a gown etc at those kind of occasions, but that is a subjective question of taste rather than etiquette as I cannot concieve how any person could be hurt or inconvenienced or upset by what you chose to wear to celebrate your marriage. 

penguintina

Yet another lurker here... I had Bell's Palsy six years ago. From what you wrote about your fiance, it sounds like his is somewhat similar to what mine was (my left eye stayed halfway open, the left side of my mouth was all droopy, I was drooly and probably difficult to understand when I spoke,etc). It took about a month but I eventually regained movement and got completely back to normal. My doctor put me on a week-long course of steroids when I was first diagnosed which did seem to help (it's debatable if they help but since Bell's Palsy is caused by inflammation of the facial nerve she figured it wouldn't hurt).

I know I didn't really answer your actual question but as someone who has gone through it myself (and like previous people have said with their family/friends' experiences) hopefully knowing that people have gotten back to normal will help put your mind at ease a little bit. It is scary though and I hope your fiance gets better soon.

GoofyAssChick

Thank you to everyone that has posted responses.  Another day and his symptoms seemed to have stalled now instead of getting worse.  Hopefully it can only get better from here on out.  His speech seems to be a bit better probably due to him becoming more used to it.  He still stutters a little at times but his ability to annuciate gives me hope that he'll fully recover in his speech.  We've been doing a lot more research and I think we're a lot less scared than we were initially. 

We've been overwhelmed with "people who know people" who have had it and fully recovered with about a month or two.  That is definitely our hope!  My FI and I talked a lot last night and are thankful that the doctor only billed us $100 for the doctor's office and the prescriptions were generic and it was only $46 total.  It could have been MUCH worse.  If therapy is necessary down the road, that could be expensive but we'll look into that when it gets here. 

He seems to think we should wait four weeks before deciding to get married right away.  He thinks we got scared and need to step back and analyze if getting married now instead of next September is something we really want to do.  I readily admit that it was my idea to get married now out of fear of the unknown. 

So that's what we're going to do.  We're going to step back and look into other options first and see if Ohio has other options available first.  Everyone has been super supportive and I know that what ever decision we end up choosing we will be supported and by thinking it out and researching more we'll be making a more informed choice. 

Again, thank you very much for your responses.  They've been extremely helpful. 

Calypso1977

i work in HR and our enrollment forms dont ask about pre-exisiting conditions.  when people get married they can add someone to the plan with no questions asked other than us asking for proof of hte marriage.  could be our state (MA) or our plan.

wrigleyville

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:fa06e0f4-d1a3-4e2e-8ad6-d43bd8e65f70">Re:Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]Preexisting conditions doesn't fully go into effect until 2014, though some companies are voluntarily starting it early. There is definitely a chance they won't cover the treatment for a preexisting condition. Also, many insurance plans have X number of physical therapy sessions they will cover, regardless of diagnosis. And since you'll have to file a HIPPA life event to get your FI enrolled unless your company has year round open enrollment, it could take several weeks to get your FI on your insurance after you are married. You need to talk to the insurance company directly about all this before you make this decision. Good luck and I hope your FI recovers quickly!
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I echo every single word of this. Stage is dead on. You need to talk to your insurance company first and then HR to ask about timing.

He may very well be recovered by the time you get him onto your plan. I do hope this passes in just a few weeks and he's able to complete therapy without any issues.

femme55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-be-gentle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:40d3315b-76e6-4d4a-8c7b-98bfca0f282dPost:45a30a5c-4478-4c82-a2c5-6a4ab42642c5">Re: Please be gentle.</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all, I am sorry about your fiance. My mom had it and it really did go away...so hang in there. Wear your dress and stick with your regular places, you deserve it. I think people will totally understand and won't have an issue with it under the circumstances. I personally don't think it is that big of a deal as people here seem to think about this whole topic. If you aren't lying, why would guests ever care?? They are still getting fed, participating in the celebration, and having fun.
Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

I totally agree with this.  People on here get so worked up about the issue, but if the couple isn't lying about it, what is there to be upset about if you are being nicely hosted at a big celebration?  Who cares if the couple wants a spotlight dance or to wear normal wedding clothes. 

Kristin789

I teach speech and I would not wait four weeks.  Ask your doctor to recommend a physical therapist who specializes in facial muscles and speech therapy.  Maybe there is a physical therapy program at one of the community colleges that has students doing clinic hours at a nearby hospital - you can get in there for very low cost and everything is done with the teacher/professional standing right next to the student.  Like getting your teeth cleaned by the dental hygiene students or getting your hair cut at the Aveda training center.  You don't have to have any insurance or paperwork - just pay for the visit.

SB1512

Do you have to be married for him to be on your insurance?  Because I can document that I live with FI (would have to show HR a piece of mail addressed to me at his address) I can go on his insurance as a domestic partner.  The downside however is that the cost of insurance for a DP would be taxed.  However if that is an option instead of getting married before your date it might be worth looking into and considering.  You didn't mention it, so I'm not sure if you already know your company doesn't allow domestic partner's to be insured, or if you just don't know.  FI and I have lived together for over 2 years, and we just learned 6 months ago that I could have been on his insurance once we lived together.

arendiva

Ditto SB1512. I just recently found out that I could be included on my FI ansurance because we live together. it's worth looking into because many companies allow for the insurance of unwed domestic partners.