S/O--Making friends as an adult.

JK10910

How do you make new friendships as an adult?  How do you meet new people?

nda_roxybabe

You tell me
I suppose work, but its hard when they all have kids and don't live close. I tried making friends at yoga but thats kind of hard to do haha

alixzafiris

Talk to people

But I'd literally talk to a pole if there was nobody around so maybe I'm a special case...

JessAndTrav

I know the feeling! As a recent college graduate and having moved recently, it's hard to make new friends. I'm hoping once I get set in my job I'll start making friends.

I usually meet new people at church, to sound geeky. I'm not much for going out to bars and stuff, but I know people that have made friends at bars.

JK10910

Hmm, Alix, maybe I need to move up there.  Around here, I get weird looks when I just talk to random people  

BecW2be

I buy their candy buffet containers when they post them for sale on the knot. Hi Heels!

Seriously, I just meet people through work, through other friends, and just by random chance. I'll talk to anyone, and I love meeting new people, though. I should be the damn Welcome Wagon Lady or something.

ac_in_dc

My book club...a friend of a friend invited me to join when they needed new members 10 years ago.

Work (5 years ago, not as much now)

Reconnecting with old college friends that live in the area, we started out watching basketball games together.

Faith-sharing group at church. Other church stuff.

The dog park in my neighborhood.

The knot

All these groups introduce me to new people.

Once I have the baby I imagine I'll start seeking out new mom's groups.

shellydiane820

I haven't really made any friends outside of school or work.

Brie2010

Interwebs?

I don't know.  I have no friends in this town.  BUT, I will say that I've been making some default friends through FI--his friends' wives and GFs, FSIL, etc.  So that's nice.  (It would suck if I didn't like them, but his friends and brother have great taste.)  I want to join a running club, but there isn't one close enough to my area that I'd go to regularly.  It seems to kind of defeat the purpose of running if you have to drive a half hour there and back, you know?

nda_roxybabe

Yea, I think I'm just too shy

JK10910

S/O of my spin off:  Do you have hobbies you participate in regularly with a group, or that introduces you to new people?  How did you get started in that hobby? 

MyNameIsNot

I have no clue.  I haven't made any new friends by myself since college.  The ones that have come along are either dating someone I'm friends with or became friends with someone I'm friends with.

crfische

Bunco, golf, bowling, volunteer organizations.

SarahPLiz

When I moved here, I knew no one but my ex, who I moved here for. He was kind of controlling, so I didn't get to make any new friends except his friends. I was the boss at work, over ladies who had kids and grandkids my age, so while we got along, it wasnt really an outside of work friendship thing.
Then a friend from college moved back from Korea and stayed with me for a month while getting settled. SHe ended up working across the street from me, so we hung out a lot. She was the only approved person, per the ex, that I was allowed to hang out with.

I got rid of him shortly thereafter, but was left with only her as my friend. She introduced me to the 4 other girls and we just started hanging out every Thursday night. (reference girls night post) It became a habit, and then we became besties.

So that's my saga. Its harder to make friends when you aren't in school, because work friends come with all sorts of unwritten rules about what you can talk about, etc.

ocprincess

Church

I've also met people online who happen to live in the same area.

Through friends.

Through the National Novel Writing Month.

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_making-friends-adult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a91b831-93cb-439c-97a2-9332bef0d677Post:88fd6073-33c6-40ff-bace-13f74e2e13ec">Re: S/O--Making friends as an adult.</a>:
[QUOTE]S/O of my spin off:  Do you have hobbies you participate in regularly with a group, or that introduces you to new people?  How did you get started in that hobby? 
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

We were in a bowling league a few years back, which was so much more fun than I ever anticipated.

Also my FI joined my work's softball league (even though I didn't) so he became close with my colleagues and their spouses/SOs.

SarahPLiz

Oh, and I also met a whole new group of friends by joining a triathlon training group. My friend met a whole new group through an adult kickball league. There are all kinds of ways to meet people.

crfische

None of my friends wanted to do golf league, so I showed up by myself and asked to be put on a team that was there to have fun. I met 4 very, very awesome women.

JK10910

Vally, do they have bowling leagues for the bowling impaired?

cengle

Typically all my newer friends are from school or I met them through other friends.  I don't think I know how to make friends outside of school, since that's all I've known for so long!

ac_in_dc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_making-friends-adult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a91b831-93cb-439c-97a2-9332bef0d677Post:66b81e3b-eebb-41e9-b124-734f1e684ffc">Re: S/O--Making friends as an adult.</a>:
[QUOTE]I just realized I haven't made a new friend "on my own" since 2004. All the others were friends of friends that I got closer with. I have no idea how to make new friends. :-/
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

I don't think there's any difference in meeting friends "on your own" or through other friends. The important thing is that you're expanding your circle (or replacing people that move away/get too busy to hang out anymore).

crfische

J&K, they do! They call them the busch league up here, and its SUPER Fun. My average was like...96.

vallyhoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_making-friends-adult?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4a91b831-93cb-439c-97a2-9332bef0d677Post:f75e37ce-ac8c-4234-885a-e1c9579829e8">Re: S/O--Making friends as an adult.</a>:
[QUOTE]Vally, do they have bowling leagues for the bowling impaired? ;)
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]

Of course! How do you think I got to play? :P

JK10910

So...what you would friend making extraordinaires suggest for someone who sucks at sports with leagues, isn't working, volunteers with people twice her age, and has very very few friends in the area? 

FutureMrsTR

There's a community sports league in our area that FI and I just signed up for.  We initially signed up with a single friend of ours who wants to meet more people and I figure we could stand to meet some people too, haha.  We start our dodgeball season tomorrow.  I figure I will be good at this because I do NOT want to get hit with anything and will dodge like crazy

JK10910

Haha, really?  Well, my average bowling score is lower than 96, but I play like once a year.  I can only get better, right?  Maybe I'll look into bowling leagues for the bowling impaired!

alixzafiris

Oh yeah no... I get weird looks a lot of the time too, and admittedly, the talking to people thing works better with guys than girls (but most chicks hate me on sight at any rate so whatever)... And a lot of the time it happens at bars/pubs, where people almost expect to talk to random people...

Ask the western-Canucks, they'll tell you us Toronto people don't have the friendliest dispositions...

JK10910

Yeah, Alix, I haven't quite mastered the talking to random guys without them thinking I'm hitting on them.

JK10910

I just found a group to meet other Quakers in Rochester.  Somehow, I don't think they'd like me much. 

alixzafiris

Yeah it's about a 50/50 whether they think you're just awesomesauce to talk to or whether they think you're warming up to say "come back to my place, big boy". It amuses my husband, at least.

crfische

OH J, I WORKED UP to 96. I started the season in the 70's.

Ask people you know in the area what they do for fun or who they hang out with.

It sounds ridic, but if you can get into a Bunco league, it's beyond fun and you meet LOTS of people from different arenas.

A book club?

Bingo?