Is it completely rude of me to do this?

RebeccaB88

I see no problem with sandwiches at a casual backyard wedding, honestly.  Some good quality meats and cheeses, with good bread and plenty of fixins' is fine.  I would only suggest 'rounding out' things a little more to make it more of a meal rather than just a sandwich, you know?  If there's a way to squeeze a little more out of the budget to add a few things you can pick up at the grocery store deli - potato salad, coleslaw, veggie trays, fruit, etc, that would help people feel like they've had an actual meal instead of an appetizer.  There are also plenty of beverages for a dry wedding - lemonade, flavored iced teas, punch, sparkling water.  It can be done.

Birdie1483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_completely-rude-of-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c6571c9-90de-4ca0-8989-206648244bcdPost:45aabece-e4c5-4375-9274-80fc75539ba3">Re: Is it completely rude of me to do this?</a>:
[QUOTE]I see no problem with sandwiches at a casual backyard wedding, honestly.  Some good quality meats and cheeses, with good bread and plenty of fixins' is fine.  I would only suggest 'rounding out' things a little more to make it more of a meal rather than just a sandwich, you know?  If there's a way to squeeze a little more out of the budget to <strong>add a few things you can pick up at the grocery store deli - potato salad, coleslaw, veggie trays, fruit, etc</strong>, that would help people feel like they've had an actual meal instead of an appetizer.  There are also plenty of beverages for a dry wedding - lemonade, flavored iced teas, punch, sparkling water.  It can be done.
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]


I was going to suggest this as well to help alleviate the "dinner time" feeding  problem. If you can come up with something that is more filling and/or has more protein like baked beans, potato salad, meat balls, etc it will help make the meal more of a meal and less of an appetizer. All you would need would be one or two hot/heavy additions to your sandwich idea.  This would still fit in with the casual backyard theme and would help fill up your guests.
 
As far as alcohol goes, you can get a keg of light beer from a liquor store for $50-70 and I think they're supposed to be enough for 100-125 people. You could realistically get two kegs for under $150 and have enough liquor for all 125 people to have two drinks. If they want more liquor, then they can go out afterwards.  This might not be a popular opinion, but in my opinion that is more than enough from a couple that doesn't drink at all. You might just want to spread word of mouth that you wont have limitless booze at the wedding if you go this route.

If you check with a local liquor store in TN they should be able to help you get more accurate pricing and drink per person count.



Edit: I know many wouldn't see my alcohol suggestion as ideal, but this was a suggestion if OP is really really worried about not providing alcohol to her guests. I personally love me some beer, but I would understand if I went to a friend/family member's wedding who didn't drink only have enough for a couple drinks for everyone.

gonnabemrsh

I was going to have chips and a fruit platter too plus some of my yummy pasta salad, not *just* sandwiches

But now I'm leaning very much toward pulled pork sandwiches, although I'm not sure I'll be able to afford that. I'm looking into it.

Lisa8888

The OP budgeted $200 for 125 people. Not very probable. I don't see how $200 of cold cuts would be enough for 125 people not to mention the cost of rolls, etc. 

Simply Fated

I see nothing wrong with sandwiches for dinner. Sandwiches are delicious at any time of day. There is a reason why Subway and Quiznos and Blimpies are open past lunchtime. Because sandwiches are good for any meal, any time of day.

I was going to have chips and a fruit platter too plus some of my yummy pasta salad, not *just* sandwiches
That sounds fine to me. As long as you have enough food for everyone, there shouldn't be a problem.
What about going to Costco and getting some potato salad and cole slaw to go with them? Or add a salad bar to go with it?

You also don't need alcohol. It's preferred, but if you can't swing it, it's not the end of the world. Just don't do BYOB. Not serving alcohol isn't rude, but BYOB to a wedding is. Good Luck!

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_completely-rude-of-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c6571c9-90de-4ca0-8989-206648244bcdPost:6f179c95-601e-477f-bd4c-b73368c9beb8">Re: Is it completely rude of me to do this?</a>:
[QUOTE]The OP budgeted $200 for 125 people. Not very probable. I don't see how $200 of cold cuts would be enough for 125 people not to mention the cost of rolls, etc. 
Posted by Lisa8888[/QUOTE]

Why are you so worried about it? 

myother1

I agree with the PP who said that $200 will not feed 125 people.   Unless you're serving ramen, bread, and water, you've got a major issue.   

Those things that you consider "non-negotiable," as it stands, are simply unrealistic.  Cut the guest list, find another venue, or raise the food budget. 

You seem like a really nice person, but you do need to seriously consider your priorities.  Also, your wedding is almost a year away.  Is there no way you can save more for the food budget?  A part-time job?  Cutting back on daily expenses?
 

_Dagney_

I love that you are havig a casual reception.  I didn't read ALL or the responses, but my answer is that its better to serve only soft-drinks than have a byob reception.  Could you get  keg?

or maybe make some rum punch? a big bowl of punch is dirt cheap, even with alcohol and it is retro and cute.

Knittibell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_completely-rude-of-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4c6571c9-90de-4ca0-8989-206648244bcdPost:1484a81e-fa60-4486-b5ea-e0e30a206b4b">Re: Is it completely rude of me to do this?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I think if you're doing a casual, picnic-type, dry reception, an earlier wedding might be the way to go. People won't really expect a big sit-down dinner and champagne if it's lunch time.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

THIS. You could even just do some simple domestic beer and wine or Sangria.

ARod22

There is no sensible reason for anyone to be offended by there not being alcohol.  Alcohol is just a luxury, and if someone seriously cannot take 4 hours of their life without it, that's their problem, not your's.  Of course, you have to offer some kind of beverages, but it sounds like you're doing that anyway.  I do have to say, however, that what others are saying about simply offering wine and beer is probably correct.  You'd avoid conflict with all people--mothers and grandmothers alike--by doing that.

It WOULD be offensive and very tacky, however, to make your wedding BYOB.  I never could understand that idea for a wedding or why some people do it.. not only is it rude to ask guests to bring anything to a wedding, but it's also just disrespectful to the event.  Your wedding is not a frat party, and whether you're having a backyard wedding or a black tie affair, the marriage of two people ought to be treated with a little class.  Not to mention, saying "BYOB" just sounds like an invitation to party hard and get drunk, which doesn't sound like what you and your FI have in mind if you aren't drinkers yourselves.

That's my 2 cents, surely some people disagree.. but judging from the subject title of your post, you're probably hearing what  you thought you would hear

karmellah

op, do whatever you and fi's dreams are. I think what you have planned is splendid because that's what you want. I would love to do what you're doing, but FI's dream is to have a sit down dinner, so we're compromising. There are a lot of different things you can do to create substance for people to eat, ie, pasta salad, potato salad etc. what kind of sandwiches are you serving? I think you could still pass out hor d'ouvers (sp) Like Deviled eggs or something like that. Have a signature drink like freshly squeeze lemonade or something like that. Since youre getting married in the summer, the daylight last longer and longer. Hell, i eat sandwiches for dinner sometimes.

JenGin74

If you make your own sauce, you can probably feed 125 people a nice pasta, garlic bread and salad dinner for $200. It's hot and filling and seems more "evening" to me than sandwiches.

meganyani

I am not sure where to stand on this, haha.

For people telling her to serve booze on a private property, please look into your state/local laws about that. http://criminal.lawyers.com/DUI-DWI/Social-Host-Alcohol-Liability.html (just an overview, obviously) You don't want a sticky liability situation.