Meeting of the Parents

ezza3580

I don't anticipate my parents and my fiance's parents ever spending much time together after the wedding.  We all live in different states.  Is it really necessary for all the parents to meet during the engagement, or can this meeting take place right before the wedding when everyone is already in the same place?

salt78

I don't see why it would really matter that much. 

Beachy730

I don't think it matters either way.  My mom really wanted to me H's mom after we got engaged, but H was very afraid because our parents are both very different, so he made his Grandma come too.  We went to lunch one day with me, H, my mom, MIL, and H's Grandma.  They diidn't meet again until my shower, and then the RD and wedding.  They will never be close, and theres a good chance wthey will never be at family functions together.  H and I never had any expectations of them being close or talking outside of our functions, so we didn't care.  Our parents are grown adults and we weren't trying to force any friendships on them.

Kristin789

Typically the parents all meet right after the engagement is announced.  Below is a link to how this is usually handled:

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/introducing-the-in-laws.aspx

salt78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_meeting-of-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4ccd1f34-e7e7-416a-a9fc-4907003c534bPost:3bdb7eea-b30b-4c78-9c60-c132bf7742f6">Re: Meeting of the Parents</a>:
[QUOTE]Typically the parents all meet right after the engagement is announced.  Below is a link to how this is usually handled: <a href="http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/introducing-the-in-laws.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/mother-of-the-bride/articles/introducing-the-in-laws.aspx</a>
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

<div>However, OP, please note that your marriage will still be considered valid if your parents do not meet until the wedding. :)</div>

Calypso1977

i think its nice if they can all meet before (maybe over the holidays?) but if not, the RD is fine.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Our parents met about 36 hours before the wedding.

Our families came in on Friday before our Sunday wedding. My dad had drinks with them that night, my mom and stepdad had breakfast with them the next morning. They live in different states (and we live in yet a third), so that's just how it worked out. However, my mother wants my in-laws to come stay with her next summer, apparently.

If they live near each other, I'd get the stress of having them meet out of the way before the wedding. But if they don't live nearby, don't worry about it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_meeting-of-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4ccd1f34-e7e7-416a-a9fc-4907003c534bPost:bbc4ab38-94ed-492b-a8ae-baa483b5ad2f">Re: Meeting of the Parents</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought I rememered reading that years ago, the point of an RD was for the B&G's parents to meet each other?  So, then, you'd just be following an old tradition.  I don't think it's a problem.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I think you're thinking of the engagement party? That's usually thrown by the bride's family for the families to meet.

squirrly

We got our parents together for dinner one night mid-engagement when H's parents flew down to visit us (we lived near my family at the time).  Had it not been feasible, we'd have looked for another opportunity, but we were pretty sure our families would get along well. 

We now live near H's family, and my family will come visit from time to time, so it's likely that the parents will see each other occasionally, but not often.  Personally, I'd find it a bit awkward for that meeting to be at the rehearsal or RD, but if it's just the day before those events, I think it would be fine.  The RD involves other people, though, so that could make it a little extra awkward, potentially.

[Deleted User]

Most of our family met each other at the RD/earlier that day. My mom met his mom briefly a couple years before that, but otherwise they were all total strangers. It was fine. And they likely won't see each other again unless H's parents come down here to visit.

topcatiom

FI and i have been together 10 years and our folks have never clapped eyes on each other....of course the issue of different continents come into play but meh-splitting hairs!

Celles

Our parents will be meeting at the RD the night before our wedding.  His parents are all gung-ho about forging a relationship with my parents.  Meanwhile, my parents find his parents' enthusiasm borderline creepy, lol.

SarahPLiz

Our parents aren't meeting until the rehearsal dinner. They likely won't see each other again for a LONG time, so we hope they are all on their best behavior. 

angiebear11

My mom and FMIL first met over lunch one day with FI and I.  FI and I had been dating for umm I believe it was 4 or 5 years by then and my mom really wanted to meet FI's mom. So we all met up for lunch.  The rest of each other's families met at our E-Party.

cyn1812000

My FMIL and M won't be meeting until the RD.  I wouldn like for them to meet earlier, but his parents live out of state and just doesn't seem feasable at this time.

SweetMelissa4

I'm in the same boat.  I was thinking of arranging a lunch the day of the RD with just my mom, his parents and us.  We all live in different states (and they are SUCH different kinds of people), that it is just not practical (or even ideal, really) for them to meet ahead of time.

JudieN

Our parents are both divorced. My mom and his mom live really close by - so they have met. But neither of his parents have met my dad/stepmom. They will be meeting for the first time at the rehearsal dinner.

I think either way is fine - if there is an opportunity to meet that is great, if not, I think that is part of the reason for the RD.