RSVP cards

dragonsdreamers

Hi I have a question about the RSVP cards for the reception. Is it tacky to put on the card " Please RSVP because saeting is limited at the Reception" ? We do have limited seating but our guest list is 250 and the reception holds only 175. we have cut the guest list from 475 down to 250 and are still trying to cut more out. DF asked me this questions and I'm hoping you guys can help! Thanks so much girls.

MattsPenguin

So what happens with your 176th person RSVP's yes?

You should only invite the number of people that your venue holds.

Regardless, don't put that on your RSVP.  It's tacky.  And find a new venue.

dragonsdreamers

Thanks Ladies! We cant change venues at this point but I like the idea of a  2nd list and this should work. And how do I get all the cool gadget"s you guys have under your post's?

ootmother2

I agree with PPs, cut the guest list to 175

baystateapple

B-lists really aren't a good idea either.  Especially not when the B-list you're speaking of is going to include 75 people.  You really should try to trim your list down to the 175 you're allowed.

Audrey&Austin

Don't invite more than your venue can hold and don't do a B-List. B-lists are extremely rude and people will find out that they didn't make the cut the first time around be offended. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

No. You can't rescind an invitation after you fill your venue. If someone doesn't get back to you "in time" it doesn't mean they're uninvited. You track them down until you have an answer, you can't decide on your own that they are no longer allowed to come.

bmoruzzi

WHAT?!  Big no no.  As the ladies said, cut the list to 175.  

Brandiewine11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-cards-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:504ae912-aae3-4ae5-b5a6-8856c2f86e4ePost:31946165-0609-4cec-a03e-1198aa036b2b">Re: RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]You need to cut your guest list down to 175. Never invite more people than you can actually host. What if EVERYONE rsvp's yes? Trust me, this is possible. Invite 175.<strong> If people decline, then invite others quickly so they don't know they're being b-listed.</strong>
Posted by SkettiHeadie[/QUOTE]

<div>Definitely do NOT do this. B-lists are rude. Only invite those you can actually host. I'm sorry you've gotten yourself into this mess. Please don't do a b-list. If you can't change your venue, then you need to cut your list. It sucks, but everyone has to do it. If you've already sent STD's or something to these folks, then I have no advice for you.</div>

SirJuliusVonHaast

Unfortunately, I think you just have to decide on the 175 people who you most want to be there. 

Good luck!

Patineuse1124

Unless a lot of those 250 are courtesy invites to out of town family that you are 100% sure will not come you are walking into to a potentially big disaster.  As PP mentioned, B-lists are not usually a good idea.  They will only work if a) people on the B list are all in the same social circle and not in social circle with A-list people (e.g., work friends are on B-list, none are on A-list and you send out all their invites at the same time) and b) a lot of people rsvp no early on (don't count on that, people suck at rsvping in a timely manner).  Bottomline I'd try to cut your list to as close to 175 as you can.  

Irishcurls

I really think the bigger issue is booking a venue for 175 people when the first pass list had 475!!! That's a lot of cuts.....

emarston1

No to the "limited seating."  No to inviting more than your venue holds.  No to B-lists.

No to everything except inviting what your venue will hold.

jlq2005

You absolutely need to cut your list down to the 175 that your venue can hold.

NEVER invite more than your venue holds. What wold you do if everyone rsvp'd yes? Where would you have put everyone?? 

Cut your list, do NOT make a B-list, and do not put that on your RSVP cards. 

thesequel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-cards-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:504ae912-aae3-4ae5-b5a6-8856c2f86e4ePost:83c93167-f92e-429c-b8f1-545e07b0dae1">Re: RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP cards : Eh, I'm usually on board with what is considered proper etiquette but this is one that doesn't really bother me. I personally will get a venue that can hold my entire guest list, but I don't see how a b-list is so terrible if it is done properly and isn't for gift grabbing reasons. I won't personally be b-listing, but if the invitations are sent out in proper timing  and the guest doesn't know, I don't see it as being rude. But thats just my opinion.
Posted by SkettiHeadie[/QUOTE]

<div>Etiquette dictates that B-lists are tacky....this is an etiquette board, therefore the answers being given are in line with proper etiquette.</div><div>
</div><div>OP - 175 chairs = 175 people in those chairs....I doubt too many people will want to share a chair or a meal!</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck cutting the list!</div>

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-cards-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:504ae912-aae3-4ae5-b5a6-8856c2f86e4ePost:a33c49b4-d3e8-445e-8e71-0b1955e3baf4">Re: RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>So what happens with your 176th person RSVP's yes?</strong> You should only invite the number of people that your venue holds. Regardless, don't put that on your RSVP.  It's tacky.  And find a new venue.
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

<div>MP- she warned them seating was limited!!!  It's like when a concert sells out, they the first people who RSVPed can scalp their seats for big bucks.  Win-win.  </div>

apardy131

That is tacky to put that on the rsvp card and you NEED to cut your list down to 175. You cannot sit there and hope people say no because after this process I have learned that the people you think will say no, rsvp yes.

And I agree with PP never do a B-list it is rude and hurtful.

Habs2Hart

Skettihead - You are on the Etiquette board.  Which means that proper etiquette should be followed and advised.  You don't get to pick which things bother you and don't. 

OP - B-lists are rude.  Invite only the number of people you can properly host, which in your case is 175. 

masonwalker

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-cards-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:504ae912-aae3-4ae5-b5a6-8856c2f86e4ePost:e91f94fd-2891-456d-9291-4cf5d8c71e8e">Re: RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: RSVP cards : MP- she warned them seating was limited!!!  It's like when a concert sells out, they the first people who RSVPed can scalp their seats for big bucks.  Win-win.  
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]

**LIKE**

aimers1525

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rsvp-cards-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:504ae912-aae3-4ae5-b5a6-8856c2f86e4ePost:67de53cc-48b2-430d-b09c-46c96435bda0">Re: RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Unless a lot of those 250 are courtesy invites to out of town family that you are 100% sure will not come you are walking into to a potentially big disaster.</strong>  As PP mentioned, B-lists are not usually a good idea.  They will only work if a) people on the B list are all in the same social circle and not in social circle with A-list people (e.g., work friends are on B-list, none are on A-list and you send out all their invites at the same time) and b) a lot of people rsvp no early on (don't count on that, people suck at rsvping in a timely manner).  Bottomline I'd try to cut your list to as close to 175 as you can.  
Posted by Patineuse1124[/QUOTE]
You can never be 100% sure until they RSVP or you hear from them verbally "I am not coming". FMIL swore up and down that her relatives from TX (my wedding is in IL) would not come. Oh guess what? Four of them are coming.  There's no such thing as a courtesy invite--you either want to invite them to join in the celebration or you don't.