Wedding Etiquette Forum

guests and uninvited dates

Our guest list is growing way too large.  There is limited seating in the church, and we really dont have the budget for too many more guests.  For some reason, our single friends assume that they can bring a date.  The invites only had their names on it.  A few guests in serious relatoinships were allowed to bring dates, and their invitations had the guests name as well. Some RSVPs are coming back with people we dont' know and didnt invite. How do i let them know that we simply dont have enough room for additional people?  Would it be rude to even say anything?  I personally think it was rude for them to assume they can bring a guest!  What do I do?

Re: guests and uninvited dates

  • Options
    Are these people responding "with guest" in a relationship?  If so, they really should be able to bring their SO
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    I'm in the camp that thinks it's rude to let some of your adult friends bring dates and not allowing the others too.

    Also the church shouldn't be an issue because anybody can go to Church, regardless of limited seating.

    If you end up not letting them bring dates, call them and tell them that you are sorry for the misunderstanding but due to limited budget you won't be able to accommodate a date.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    282image Invited to celebrate!
    208image Will be Dancing the night away!
    74image Won't be having any fun
    0image are giving me a major headache

  • Options
    Ok, just to clarify,for those who could bring dates, we just invited the couple by name, instead of putting "and guest" so that some would not recieve "and guest" while others did not.  Anyone in a relationship pretty much got to bring their SO.  The church is not like an open church that anyone goes to on Sundays, its a historical landmark and is only used for weddings. It is a few hundred years old and very small.  People are RSVP'ing with a date that they maybe just started dating, or they don't even have a name, they just are infomring me that they will have a date... 
  • Options
    In that case just call and tell them that you're sorry for the misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for them and unfortunately you don't have room to accommodate any extra guests. 
  • Options
    You should call them and let them know that due to space and budget you can't accommodate their guest.  I have two of these calls to make myself that I've been putting off so I know where you're coming from.  Ugh.
  • Options
    If they are single and only their name was on the invite (no "and guest") than that is rude to respond back with extra names.  You'll need to call them directly and explain that sorry for any confusion but you're just inviting them and you can't accomodate any additional guests.
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