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Vows

louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
5000 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Did you all write your own vows?
Were they totally serious?

My dad has written out the most beautiful ceremony for us. It made both of us tear up when we read it. We decided that since it's so serious and traditional, that our short promises to each other should be mostly funny and relevant to the silly things about us. We like to have the same vow outline, just replacing it with funny things about each other. I don't think we're going to share them until that day. We want them to be pretty much the same length.

How did you go about writing yours? Did you use a template?
"In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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Re: Vows

  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    I understand and respect that view. I don't necessarily agree though. We have a little of the 'in sickness and in health' part, but most of it, my dad really personalized for us. We have a version of Corinthians, the thing about a ring being a symbol of eternity (or something like that?). So the seriousness is really there, but we want some of personality in there. We don't feel like it would be 'us' without it.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • LP11509LP11509 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    i get that you want some balance, but I honestly don't think wedding vows are the place to be funny.  Maybe you could make a toast or something during the reception to say silly things instead?
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think writing your own vows is really nice.  Honestly though, its so emotional.  Even if you two are silly people, its suprising how emotional it can get.

    I think it would end up just looking awkward and not personal.
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    While I appreciate advice, this isn't something we're going to change. It's who we are and we're not going to pretend otherwise. It's cool if I don't get any advice about what to do, we'll figure something out! But thanks, I understand everyone's concern about it. :)
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • kristinalilykristinalily
    100 Comments
    Hmm, we're not writing our own and I really know nothing about how to write your own BUT...maybe you could make some sort of a template like you said? Maybe a number of sentences (or something to get close to) and maybe how many things you're actually saying about each other. Could you also get a mutual, trustworthy, friend to read them sometime after you have both written them to make sure y'all are both on the same page?...if you're worried about them being different from each other or whatever.
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    100 Comments
    edited April 2010
    we are the silliest ppl in the world but it never occured to us to make our vows funny. Promising to love and honor and be faithful to eachother is no joking matter, we take it very seriously and express it seriously, not saying you dont, you should make them personal to you both. But if I was watching, i would wonder if replacing the traditional vows with funny jokes it would seem like you were mocking the vows, if you want it funny go for something completely original. that way people wont miss your promise to have and hold til death do you part.
    If the foundation of your love is your sillyness, then go for it, but your vows need to be the most intenesly personal part of your ceremony and should reflect your love for eachother.

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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    That's a good idea. If he's cool with it, we'll probably send it to my dad to proof for us.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:48bfba60-54b3-4796-9dce-b971f9db23b8">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]we are the silliest ppl in the world but it never occured to us to make our vows funny. Promising to love and honor and be faithful to eachother is no joking matter, we take it very seriously and express it seriously, not saying you dont, you should make them personal to you both. But if I was watching, i would wonder if replacing the traditional vows with funny jokes it would seem like you were mocking the vows, if you want it funny go for something completely original. that way people wont miss your promise to have and hold til death do you part. If the foundation of your love is your sillyness, then go for it, but your vows need to be the most intenesly personal part of your ceremony and should reflect your love for eachother.
    Posted by katieanne85[/QUOTE]

    We aren't replacing the traditional vows, this is in addition to it. My dad welcomes everyone, reads 2 or 3 bible passages, talks about the importance of marriage and how our relationship has evolved, we do short personal vows, then the traditional vows, then the exchange of rings. After the regular ring exchange, we have a thing about the engagement ring and then we're finished. It sounds really long, but read, it's not. We don't have any other readings or vocals or anything.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • lisarose7lisarose7
    500 Comments
    "Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness" --
    poorness is underlined -- "in impotence and in potence, in quiet
    solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-
    navigated"... [consults the notecards]  ... and it goes on like this.
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    Stop The Drama!

    image Love people. Use things. Never confuse the two.
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    I think for me, it's going to be something like I promise to never come between your passion for cars and basketball, to support UK through good seasons and bad, etc. I'm not trying to be inappropriate by any means.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    100 Comments
    edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:e68bbf0f-68b9-4660-ac82-934419ea1316">Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did you all write your own vows? Were they totally serious? My dad has written out the most beautiful ceremony for us. It made both of us tear up when we read it. We decided that since it's so serious and traditional, that our short promises to each other should be mostly funny and relevant to the silly things about us. <strong>We like to have the same vow outline, just replacing it with funny things about each other.</strong> I don't think we're going to share them until that day. We want them to be pretty much the same length. How did you go about writing yours? Did you use a template?
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    Im confused so your not replacing the vows its an ad on? My fi and I will do some rendition of more traditional vows that we write together and also have personal statemnts we make to eachother about how we feel and what the other means to us, still personal and emotional and serious, but thats the core of our feelings for eachother. Im confused about how you are replacing the vows using the outline, yet still using the traditional vows, are you doing two sets of vows? are we all just misunderstanding what you wrote?
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    You are misunderstanding becuase I wasn't very clear. Sorry! We are for sure having the traditional vows, right before the I Do's. What I was asking for was a template like thing for the silly things, where I could replace the generic with our personal. Like you said, a personal statement that's seperate from the traditional vows.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • bel138bel138 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:c2bb1b1a-8f32-4558-9688-fd73b3aedef5">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think for me, it's going to be something like I promise to never come between your passion for cars and basketball, to support UK through good seasons and bad, etc. I'm not trying to be inappropriate by any means.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    But, I consider those things inappropriate. I really don't think those things belong in a wedding ceremony. Pledging to your husband and GOD to remain faithful to each other is not in the same realm as baketball.
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    Well, we look at it more as promising to let the other person remain who they are and not try to change them. We're just doing it/saying it our own way. To each their own.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • shellydiane820shellydiane820 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Will they even let you?  Our church was strict about this sort of thing, all music had to be approved, couldn't write vows, etc.
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  • kristinalilykristinalily
    100 Comments
    edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:c2bb1b1a-8f32-4558-9688-fd73b3aedef5">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think for me, it's going to be something like I promise to never come between your passion for cars and basketball, to support UK through good seasons and bad, etc. I'm not trying to be inappropriate by any means.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    hahahaha omg. Just reading this almost makes me want to write our own.  The UK stuff is good. lol. I had NEVER cared about basketball until I moved here and now...I can't get away from it. My FI is obsessed. Just had to comment because I think that's great. :)

    Edit: I just read this to my fiance and he wants to write our own now. Ugh, thanks. ;) lol
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    Yeah, my dad is the pastor. He and my mom got married (second marriage) during the height of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. When my mom said  I Do, he asked her if that was her final answer. I guess we enjoy being light hearted along with our serious promises. To us, it's just being who we are. We aren't totally serious during our every day life and while yes, we are in a serious situation, we are still David and Julia, just like we are every other day.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:8018ae84-d910-4c4c-a46c-498c3013e2f8">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : hahahaha omg. Just reading this almost makes me want to write our own.  The UK stuff is good. lol. I had NEVER cared about basketball until I moved here and now...I can't get away from it. My FI is obsessed. Just had to comment because I think that's great. :)
    Posted by kristinalily[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, he's obsessed to. I actually enjoy basketball now. Its such a part of who he is. If you turn on the game right now, the silver haired ref is his great uncle. Needless to say, he was raised on the game. Our colors are blue and white, there are little hidden UK things throughout the reception, including his UK cuff links.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • kristinalilykristinalily
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:4ad462ca-b979-47b2-b91a-98ffa11781ea">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : Yeah, he's obsessed to. I actually enjoy basketball now. Its such a part of who he is. If you turn on the game right now, the silver haired ref is his great uncle. Needless to say, he was raised on the game. Our colors are blue and white, there are little hidden UK things throughout the reception, including his UK cuff links.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    Awesome! The game has definitely been on. I'll have to look for the ref when it stops advertising! We don't have any UK stuff at the wedding really (yet!)....other than my garter that is UK. Can't wait to see his face when he finds that. ;)
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    Oh yeah, I have the UK garter for sure. Oh, and his grooms cake is Rupp.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:64bcb69c-8064-4a3b-815e-c99453b2f92b">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, my dad is the pastor. He and my mom got married (second marriage) during the height of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. When my mom said  I Do, he asked her if that was her final answer. I guess we enjoy being light hearted along with our serious promises. To us, it's just being who we are. We aren't totally serious during our every day life and while yes, we are in a serious situation, we are still David and Julia, just like we are every other day.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    LOL thats kinda cute. might not be for everyone, but if it was special and personal it works. the thing that makes wedding vows different than everyday life if that it is the biggest promise you will ever make in your life, so its a serious event, so you should treat it how YOU treat events of that magnitude, it is also a promise to God, and a community event.
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  • btrflykate1230btrflykate1230 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:20e36bfb-c187-42ff-ac33-7f6665f1c8fb">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : But, I consider those things inappropriate. I really don't think those things belong in a wedding ceremony. <strong>Pledging to your husband and GOD</strong> to remain faithful to each other is not in the same realm as baketball.
    Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

    <div>God will have no place in my ceremony, although I do realize it will for you LVB!</div><div>
    </div><div>We're writing our own "pre--vows" and then saying the traditional vows. That's where we'll be putting the cutesy "I promise to not change the channel during a Yankees/Red Sox game" sort of thing. It really personalizes it for us and will for you too! :)</div><div>
    </div>
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  • ThePinkSuperheroThePinkSuperhero
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:20e36bfb-c187-42ff-ac33-7f6665f1c8fb">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : But, I consider those things inappropriate. I really don't think those things belong in a wedding ceremony. Pledging to your husband and GOD to remain faithful to each other is not in the same realm as baketball.
    Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

    Agreed.  The wedding vows aren't time for discussion of hobbies, food, and other temperal things.  They should focus on the foundational things- love, commitment, fidelity.
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    edited April 2010
    Ok, here's what I have....critque away!

    You are my best friend
    You are my rock
    You are my dream come true
     
    Because of this...
     
    I promise to encourage your individuality, Because that is what gives you determination and creativity,

    I promise to support your ambitions Because through them your soul shines                

    You are my better half

    You are my inspiration

    You are my ???

    Because of this…

     

    I promise to support your passion for cars, because it’s so much a part of who you are

    I promise to pledge my loyalty to UK through good seasons and bad because you would expect no less from me

    I promise to let you tease my for every Murphy moment yet to come because they will be plentiful

    I promise to never stop believin…because it’s gotten us so far

     

     

    Lastly, I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust, For one lifetime with you could never be enough. This is my sacred vow to you, my equal in all things, always and forever

     

    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    100 Comments
    edited April 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:88eb551b-d498-49c8-8156-98f4d6ab42b2">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : Agreed.  The wedding vows aren't time for discussion of hobbies, food, and other temperal things.  They should focus on the foundational things- love, commitment, fidelity.
    Posted by ThePinkSuperhero[/QUOTE]
     
    I agree, and it will be in my wedding as well, but if that doesnt mean the same thing to everyone, then the whys are pointless, people are saying "for as long as we both shall love" now, marriage is a temporal thing as well as a spiritual thing, and people will express what is important to them in their own way, what should be doesnt work all the time.

    I like the top portion of her vows, its sweet, and she did get a bit about promising to love forever in there. I wonder about pledging to a college when the pledge to husband is not as explicitly spelled out but I am sure her husband will get it.
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  • mwhitson14mwhitson14 member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We didn't have any silly in our vows, but our pastor did make us laugh with what he knows about us.

    I think what you have right now is not very silly, it's cute. I think it's fine LVB :)
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    I don't think by us saying (in our own way) that we want to let and encourage each other to continue to be an individual takes away from our love, trust, honesty and fidelity. Who is to say what 'should' be? Because it's traditional? What happend to thinking for yourself, doing what feels right to your and yours? We're not hurting anyone by making our vows super personal and we don't feel we're making them any less meaningful. Our relationship with each other and God in no way depends on the levity of our vows.

    That would be like saying those that get married at the JOP and choose to only include the legal speakaren't as serious as those that use personal or biblical vows.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • louisvillebride21louisvillebride21
    5000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:7ef28fee-5aff-4c32-8cde-54a3e2a4d2f3">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]We didn't have any silly in our vows, but our pastor did make us laugh with what he knows about us. I think what you have right now is not very silly, it's cute. I think it's fine LVB :)
    Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, my dad's first line is thanking everyone for being there, saying that there are other places they could be on this (hopefully) beautiful day. adn then he says "I offered them good money to elope, yet here they are, wanting to share in this special day with their family". We just like to be light hearted. It's totally a part of who we are.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
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  • *BeachBride0410**BeachBride0410* member
    1000 Comments
    LVB vows are supposed to represent your relationship & express who are as a couple.  God does not have to be involved if you do not want it to be.  We were going to write our own, but we found vows that expressed everything we wanted to say and was worded beautifully. Don't get me wrong, I like the traditional vows, they are romantic....but they aren't for us.
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:57430d7d-9e46-4d5f-b201-eb009a383570Post:72ae5475-d637-406e-9079-b02ae238026d">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think by us saying (in our own way) that we want to let and encourage each other to continue to be an individual takes away from our love, trust, honesty and fidelity. Who is to say what 'should' be? Because it's traditional? What happend to thinking for yourself, doing what feels right to your and yours? We're not hurting anyone by making our vows super personal and we don't feel we're making them any less meaningful. Our relationship with each other and God in no way depends on the levity of our vows. That would be like saying those that get married at the JOP and choose to only include the legal speakaren't as serious as those that use personal or biblical vows.
    Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

    What you should do is promise love commitment and fidelity to eachother, after all thats what marriage is about, it seems like you have that in there essentially. Have fun.
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