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Poll: Christmas gifts for BF/FI/DH family

How do you guys deal with buying christmas gifts for BF/FI/DH's family? Do you decide what they are getting and buy it, leave it to him or is it a team effort? And why do you do it this way?

Re: Poll: Christmas gifts for BF/FI/DH family

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    I do most of the shopping because he barely has any free time. But he usually tells me what to get. I'll tell him if I see something I think one of them might like, but he decides.

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    Usually FI and I go in on gifts together for his mom and his brother. He buys a gift for his dad, but I don't contribute to that because I'm not close to his dad.

    Oddly, he usually buys separate gifts for my family maybe because he spends much more time with my folks that I do with his.  Also gift giving is a much bigger deal in my family, so I think he might feel some pressure from other members to give good gifts.

    Married! 8/7/10
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    We usually each shop for our own families.  It's just easier since they're all so hard to shop for.  I do all the wrapping once they're bought though, which is funny since I wrap like a 5 year old and use far too much tape for anyones good.


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    I do most of the shopping, but we decide together what we are going to get them and then just get it.
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    We just decide everything together and then whoever has time grabs the goodies.
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    Also we usually talk over what we want to get his family and go shopping together.
    Married! 8/7/10
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    edited December 2009
    Normally his brothers do a big group gifts for his parents, so we just contribute to that.  I buy for my parents.
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    I buy for my family and we buy together for his. He'll throw in suggestions for what to get my family sometimes, but for the most part I'm the one looking around for them. His family is a team effort. I'll buy for my family without running the gift by him, but if I find something for someone in his family I run it by him before getting it. All gifts to all family members have been from the both of us since year 2 of the relationship, I believe.

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    I leave it to him.  Mainly because he gets big family gifts.  This year, he got a family pass to the rec center for his sister and her family.

    His sis's birthday is between Christmas and New Years so we got his parents dinner theatre tickets and his sis's b=day gift is also dinner theatre tickets.  We'll get some for ourselves and voila, at least one family night in January sometime.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    In the past, Rich has pointed out things his family would like (mainly his parents) and I've tried to get his sister my own thoughtful gifts (a deperate ploy to get her to like me...including a very expensive Story People print that I'm sure made it's way to the garbage already). He waits to the very.last.minute to get gifts for everyone. Last year, he waited so long that he ended up spending a ton of $$ on and only being able to give them a print out of what would arrive for them in the mail.

    For my family, I do the purchasing and just put his name on it. We're not hard to shop for--but, again, if left up to Rich they'd not get a gift until February.
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    We kinda decide together, but I know better what my family wants and he knows about his.  I'll usually go and get it since I enjoy shopping.  Unfortunately, a lot of our gifts have been gift cards for the past 2 years since we live far away from everyone.
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    I pretty much control all of our money and created the christmas budget, I asked if a 50$ gift card was cool, he said yes and then I asked him if the restaurant I was thinking for the gift card was cool, he said yes and I bought it. Ive run the show for the past 4 years now, and he just agrees with the ideas i suggest.
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    We brainstorm gift ideas together for everyone.

    We usually do the Christmas shopping together, but if one of us is out and about and sees something that is on the list we just pick it up then.
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    To answer my own poll:

    R lets me know what he thinks they should get and then I buy something along those lines within our budget (the man can't budget). This year, however even he doesn't know what to get his family. Sigh
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    FI and his parents usually don't exchange gifts. For my side of the family, we use our Christmas budget to adopt a needy family and give them a good Christmas. Then we give each person a card that says that. My 6 neices and nephews get $5 each in a card.

    We think that instead of getting smaller gifts for my sisters, step-siblings, and parents, we can do a whole lot more good giving to people who actually need stuff. So far, the reaction has been positive and all are happy that they don't have more Bath & Body Works or random wine, knicknacks, etc, and that a family in need has a nice meal, warm clothing,  and presents under their tree.
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    For his family, we now do a Secret Santa for the adults so we each buy for whatever name we chose. Sometimes I still ask his opinion because he obviously knows his family better than I do. Before that, we used to decide and buy together. We still go shopping together for the kids and DH has very definite ideas about what he does and does not want to buy them.

    In my family, we celebrate Hanukah and we usually let each other know what we'd like. My sister and I always go in together for my parents (along with DH and sister's daughter) so for my family, the conversation is mostly between me and my sister, and DH goes along with whatever we decide.
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    Ever since the first year we started dating, FI's twin brother and SIL have sent me a little gift.  So I send them a little something, too.  His parents don't do gifts for their kids, they just send money- and this year I got money for the first time!  They're nice.  I always send them a Christmas card.
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    Team effort, although this year we're doing secret santa so we've only got one person to buy for... too bad we managed to pick the most diffcult one with SIL!
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    DH gets any gifts for DH's family for any holiday, including Christmas.  I get any gift for my family for any holiday, including Christmas.

    Sucrets is right - I didn't grow up with these people for 30+ years.  I don't know all about who they all and who they were and what kinds of memories or future plans they'd like. 

    I just met these people a couple of years ago, and they are totally different from anyone in my family, and the way they do things is totally different from how my family does things.  I'm constantly "expecting" this or that to be done like this or that, and I am always blindsided with how things really end up going. 

    DH knows them, respects them, and actually likes them.  He should handle gifting them.
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    While we might lean towards our own families, we really just go with the flow.  Sometimes DH or I will see something for the other family and just buy it.  Other times we might be stumped with our own family and ask the other for some ideas.  We really do not have a 'tradition' when it comes to gift giving.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    I do most the shopping for us.  We have been dating for 5 years, and I'm pretty close with his family so I usually pick out all the gifts for everyone and I ask him if they're ok, and he always says yes.  Although he has been known to say on Christmas day, what did we get my sister? 
    Jackson Allen ? 10.1.11 ?
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