Program Wording?

eak984

Hi all,

I am stuck with this one. We are having a small wedding of 60 people. Because its so small, many of our friends, cousins, etc are coming to the ceremony on their own without being invited. We need to include information about a cocktail hour that will happen before dinner (with directions to the resteraunt) once our guests arrive but don't want to imply that its open to all. Hints or ideas on how to word this? Or how to get around it without being rude?

Thanks!

achiduck

Always put information that is applicable to the invitees only on the actual invitation (or put a little card with your wedding website on it - then put the info on the website).

Like Duds said, a chruch is a public space and open to everyone.

TiffannieF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_program-wording-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ad2a479-f5db-4911-8d0f-ca0c8709a66aPost:927e0aef-4c24-46be-a03d-f3fbc2cc9bed">Program Wording?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi all, I am stuck with this one. We are having a small wedding of 60 people. <strong>Because its so small, many of our friends, cousins, etc are coming to the ceremony on their own without being invited.</strong> We need to include information about a cocktail hour that will happen before dinner (with directions to the resteraunt) once our guests arrive but don't want to imply that its open to all. Hints or ideas on how to word this? Or how to get around it without being rude? Thanks!
Posted by eak984[/QUOTE]

Wait, I'm confused.  Are you saying because it's a small wedding reception people will be showing up to the ceremony with out having an invitation?  How do they know about your ceremony site, day and time?  Is your concern that people will show to the ceremony and think that they will be able to come to the reception?

As other's have said then just put it in the invitation and mention nothing in the program.  If you guys invited or are "allowing" people to go to the ceremony but not the reception then you'll have a problem.  Or are you just worried people will show up to the ceremony?  People knew our date but I did not publicly post the site and time so people not invited to the wedding wouldn't have been able to come.

cindyn9178

OP, your question doesn't make sense. Have you ever attended a wedding ceremony without knowing the location of the reception, and only found at the ceremony/in the ceremony program? That makes no sense.
The information concerning the cocktail hour and reception is included with the wedding invitation. So those guests who receive an invitation will have that information ahead of time.
It sounds like you are most likely getting married at a church, so yes, people who you didn't invite to the reception can and will come to the ceremony, and that's perfectly ok. But they won't think they are coming to the reception, because they didn't receive an invitation. Get it?
It is not practical to wait to provide your invited guests with information concerning the cocktail hour, including directions, until after they've arrived at your ceremony. If you are concerned about what is rude, that is.

Chilattegirl

We had a handful of people come to our wedding that we did not invite, but they came and watched.  Some parent's of bridal party members came because they wanted to see their son/daughter and be supportive. Our wedding was announced in the church bulletin (the parish announces all of them), and some people who knew my family came too and sat in back.  It's public, and I can't stop someone from being there.  I wasn't offended that they came to see the wedding, but I never invited them. 

 But none of them showed up for the reception.  They all had the sense that if they did not receive an invite to the wedding, then that goes for the reception as well. 

If you're worried about them showing up to the wedding and that they'll follow the group to the reception (and this is if they're really tacky), then someone needs to tell them that it's by invitation only.  But if you gave them date time location of your wedding, that's an implicit invitation and it's a blunder on your part.