Help Requested!

hcdinva74

Hi Everyone!  So we are planning a beach side wedding and thinking of renting a spectacular event home which we will remain at for the honeymoon.  My question is this...the house is quite expensive but we feel that having all events @ one place, beach front with tons of onsite activities and perks would be great.  #1 Our wedding will be held out of state so everyone will be an out of town guest.  #2 We would like our immediate family to stay @ the house until the day after the wedding but even with them staying we will have PLENTY of extra rooms.  Most homes have 10-12 bedrooms and we really only need 5 max for us and our families.  So would it be totally tacky to open up rooms for family but charge them?  Some nice hotels in the area but not a ton and even if the paid 100 bucks a night to stay @ this fabulous home it would still be cheaper than staying  @ the hotel.  Thoughts??? Suggestions?   Just seems stupid to waste all the extra space.....

andy71781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advise-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5be2adb6-1fc0-4201-b0c7-f33868b2fdc5Post:b0506b61-93d2-430f-90f4-4f5c7dd8d69f">Help Requested!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone!  So we are planning a beach side wedding and thinking of renting a spectacular event home which we will remain at for the honeymoon.  My question is this...the house is quite expensive but we feel that having all events @ one place, beach front with tons of onsite activities and perks would be great.  #1 Our wedding will be held out of state so everyone will be an out of town guest.  #2 We would like our immediate family to stay @ the house until the day after the wedding but even with them staying we will have PLENTY of extra rooms.  Most homes have 10-12 bedrooms and we really only need 5 max for us and our families.  So would it be totally tacky to open up rooms for family but charge them?  Some nice hotels in the area but not a ton and even if the paid 100 bucks a night to stay @ this fabulous home it would still be cheaper than staying  @ the hotel.  Thoughts??? Suggestions?   Just seems stupid to waste all the extra space.....
Posted by hcdinva74[/QUOTE]<div>
<div>1) the return key is your friend.</div><div>
</div><div>2) It is tacky to charge your friends and family.

</div></div>

[Deleted User]

I think it's a bit tacky to charge people to stay at the house.  You should have money in the budget to pay for wedding related items, the house is for the wedding so it should be covered.  

Could you put up the BP?

Otherwise I think I would give the rooms to good freinds or people who I know didn't have a ton of cash to shell out for rooms.

monkeysip

I don't really know what an etiquette book would say about this... but to me it just doesn't feel right.

I wouldn't feel right charging my out of town guests to stay at a house I was renting.

Now, if the owner of the rental home charged by the room, and HE/SHE charged them money, that would be different.  But to me, you have to pay the same amount for this house whether anyone else sleeps there or not.  So they'd be paying you not because you were specifically paying for them, but because you wanted to recoup money.

I don't know... seems tacky.

kate2188

I, personally, wouldn't feel comfortable charging my family to stay with me at my destination wedding. And I'm not sure I would feel comfortable paying a family member for a place to stay. If you're really concerned about wasting the extra space, maybe you should let them stay with you; it would be a nice gesture, since they have to travel out of state for your wedding.

Also, I think it's weird that you plan on kicking them out the day after the wedding. Are some of them planning on making a vacation out of it, since they're traveling out of state? If so, they would have to stay at one of those more than $100 per night hotels anyway.

kateguess22

Hi hcdinva,
The way I look at it is that if you are paying for the house anyway and have extra rooms then why would you charge anyone? You know what I mean? You are paying the same whether they stay or not and if they are travelling to your wedding from out-of-town and bringing you gifts, wearing new outfits, etc, they are already spending a lot of money for your wedding. So think about if you would be able to fill up all the rooms of the house to help make things easier on as many people as possible without asking them to pay for it. Does that make sense?  Also another suggestion if you haven't done so already is to book a block of rooms at the local hotel to see if you can get a discounted rate for guests who have to stay at a hotel. Good luck with your planning. A beach side wedding sounds wonderful.

kimberlykh

Yes, I would find it tacky if someone in my family asked me to pay for the home that they were renting for their wedding.  If you are paying for it anyway, I would open it up for them.  It could be seen as a gift for their love and support and for traveling to your wedding to celebrate.

Cortney1982

I would feel somebody was selecting something beyond their means financially if they were charging family and friends to stay.  Especially rude to kick them out after your wedding.  Who wants to change hotels?  It's a hassle.  If you want to be alone, you and your hubby go somewhere else.

doeie04

I think since you are already renting it, it would be kinda rude to ask people to pay for a room.

Now, if you were thinking about renting the house, and asked around to see if anyone wants to rent a few rooms, that would be okay. (Like a family vacation where you rent a huge house instead of staying at the hotel.)