Wedding Etiquette Forum

Immediate Family Only

I am having a very small wedding, with only my fiance and I's immediate family. How do I tell everyone else in the families that we are getting married, but they are not necessarily invited? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want some relatives thinking they might be getting an invite later on.


Re: Immediate Family Only

  • You don't have to tell everyone you're getting married, word gets out.  If someone asks you about it just let them know you're having a small wedding with immediate family.

    They will understand.
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  • Good, threadjacking isn't very nice :)

    You say, "We are having a very intimate wedding, it's immediate family only." if they ask (which is rude anyway). If they don't, then don't bring it up.
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  • Why do you need to tell people that you're getting married?
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  • Word of mouth is fine. My cousin got married in a small ceremony in their backyard, and my aunt told my mom that they were just having immediate family. She, in turn, told me. No one was offended and everyone understood.
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  • If you really want to, you can put an announcement in the paper, or send announcement to family the day after the wedding. Some people this this is an outdated practice, though.
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  • Just invite those invited. Don't discuss the wedding in front of everyone else, if they ask explain that its an intimate wedding with immediate family only.
  • Like an announcement to the family...

    Also, I couldn't figure out how to do a new post at first. Sorry.
  • You don't need to announce to the family, word of mouth works pretty well. Trust me. After I called my parents the night we got engaged, I got about 10 phonecalls from aunts and uncles.
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  • Well, the issue I think there might be is that due to a slowing down of the saving of funds, we changed the idea of the wedding to the small gathering rather than the huge party that most of our family knows about. Invites haven't gone out yet, but there are many people who already think theyre going to be there.
  • Let them think, they'll know when they don't get an invite, if they ask tell them you're sorry but its a private wedding.
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  • We didn't have anyone but our parents at our wedding.  People knew we were getting married, and we gave them specifics if they asked, but that was about it.  We sent out announcements afterwards, and people were fine.

    They'll get the picture when they don't get an invitation, simple as that.
  • I wouldn't spread the word ahead of time.  I'd spread the word after the wedding that you got married.  I think it would be easier to deal with the "Why weren't we invited" than the "When do I get my invite?"
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  • Google "wedding announcements" or ask on the Invites and Paper board about how to word an announcement. This is something you mail the day of or the day after your wedding and it announces that you and you fiance were married on a certain date in a certain location. This lets people know you were married. Then they can get on with their lives.
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