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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Dr. and Mr.?!?!
So, I'm a bride that absolutely LOVES the traditional Mr. and Mrs. things, such as the DJ announcing us as Mr. and Mrs., buying Mr. and Mrs. engraved champagne flutes and possibly having napkins saying Mr. and Mrs. on them. The problem is that when our wedding rolls around, I will be Dr. and he will be Mr.
My mother is very upset that I would want to be called Mr. and Mrs. she says "you've worked hard enough, and should welcome people calling you doctor", since she is putting forth some of the money (I would say 20%) should she get her wishes?
Has anyone else had this problem? What did/would you do? Thanks a million
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Re: Dr. and Mr.?!?!
It's your name, you get to do what you want.
What do YOU want to be announced as?
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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[QUOTE]Will you be an MD or a PhD? It is my understanding MDs always go by Dr. but PhDs usually still go by Mr./Mrs. in most non-academic situations. Still...I would just get the Mr. and Mrs. stuff if that is what you want.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
Umm, I'm almost finished with my Ph.D. I've never heard that.
ETA: OP - I understand how you feel. I'll probably be defending a month or two after my wedding, and I'm kind of excited to be a "Mrs." just for a couple months, hahaha. I have no idea why.
Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
[QUOTE]If you want to be referred to as Mrs., and you want engraved crap with Mrs. on it, knock yourself out. J<strong>ust explain to your mom that you would like all wedding related stuff to be Mrs. and that plenty of people will call you Dr. in your professional life.</strong> I don't see why your mom really cares. It's not her title.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]
I agree with that a whole lot. You've got the rest of your life to be called Dr. I don't see the harm in being a Mrs. for one day. (or forever, if that's what you really want.) It's not like you're insisting on being called Dr. when you're not actually a doctor/PhD. Now THAT would be weird.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
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Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dr. and Mr.?!?! : Umm, I'm almost finished with my Ph.D. I've never heard that. ETA: OP - I understand how you feel. I'll probably be defending a month or two after my wedding, and I'm kind of excited to be a "Mrs." just for a couple months, hahaha. I have no idea why.
Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]
I looked into it a bit more and I guess what I posted before is a little old fashioned, and now it is mostly up to personal preference whether a PhD is always addressed as Dr. or not. I think it might also depend on what field you are in, if you are currently teaching at the college level, etc.
Also, my FFIL has a doctorate in education but no one ever calls him doctor and he coudn't care less about it. He is the only PhD I know outside of an academic setting.
generic blog link.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Dr. and Mr.?!?! : I looked into it a bit more and I guess what I posted before is a little old fashioned, and now it is mostly up to personal preference whether a PhD is always addressed as Dr. or not. I think it might also depend on what field you are in, if you are currently teaching at the college level, etc. Also, my FFIL has a doctorate in education but no one ever calls him doctor and he coudn't care less about it. He is the only PhD I know outside of an academic setting.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]
This, it's personal preference. You wouldn't go by "Mr. John Jones" professionally, though. It would either be, "Dr. John Jones" or "Mr. John Jones, PhD." My husband prefers the latter, actually, and my stepfather prefers the former. Both have taught in the past but work outside of academia now.
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[QUOTE]What do YOU want to be announced as?
Posted by PsyDet 2155[/QUOTE]
Ditto 100%. It is your title and your name. If you want Dr and Mr, go for it. But if you are only doing it because your mom wants you to, just remind her that it is your decision and YOU prefer Mr & Mrs.
Our priest introduced as as "the NewLastNames," rather than use titles (we're both physicians). Everyone who knows us knows what our titles are, so I didn't feel insecure in the least that we weren't "the Doctors LastName" in the church.
Properly speaking, usually PhDs do not go by "Dr." in social settings. If that is your preference, however, it'd be "Dr. Brittany LastName and Mr. Patrick LastName."
i know if i was a doctor, id want to use my title but that's because i think like your mom - i worked hard to earn it, why not use it?
[QUOTE]Rather than titles, you could just be introduced by your first names or as "Brittany and Patrick NewLastName." Our priest introduced as as "the NewLastNames," rather than use titles (we're both physicians). Everyone who knows us knows what our titles are, so I didn't feel insecure in the least that we weren't "the Doctors LastName" in the church. <strong>Properly speaking, usually PhDs do not go by "Dr." in social settings. </strong> If that is your preference, however, it'd be "Dr. Brittany LastName and Mr. Patrick LastName."
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
While I do tihnk it's up to the OP, I don't understand why you guys are saying this. The (many) PhDs I know go by 'doctor' just as frequently in social situations as MDs. In situations where they are not being called by their first names, they are almost always introduced as "Dr. such-and-such". Younger people often don't bother with the title, but I find that to be true with the MDs that I know as well.
If we had gotten married after getting our PhDs, we wouldn't have been introduced as "Drs. Lastname", but I think it's fine if that's what people want to do.
As for what to be called, be called what you want. My mom insists on Dr. in social settings and some people thing thats weird, others think its weird if she doesn't.
Edit: People might be getting confused as some PhDs are not research degrees (they didn't have to defend) & therefore those people should not be called Dr. socially.
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However, I would use for other people whatever they prefer. If, for example, I was sending out invitations I would probably default to using Dr. unless I knew they preffered otherwise.
[QUOTE]Thanks for the help once again girls! I loved the social vs professional classification, that will win my case with mother dearest. Mrs. is it. = ) SideNote @IrishBride: I do not mind women being called doctors, IMHO it just sounds unconventional to me (I would consider myself a tradition bride...?) @others- I will be a PharmD
Posted by Brittany&Patrick[/QUOTE]
But would you be ok with H being called a doctor at your wedding? Thats my question. Just curious.