Wedding Etiquette Forum

Sad (but not really that sad so don't worry).

So I've been researching and speaking with photographers. There's this one, who is an older gentleman, a volunteer deputy and all around fantastic sounding guy. He sounds SO nice in his emails, and even started asking me about how FI's training was going and telling me stories about what it was like when he did reserves training, and how much he missed his wife while he was away, and he's sure FI feels the same way.

So awesomely friendly, warm and huggable, right? And his work starts at $1,500 for two photographers, unlimited all day coverage. RD coverage and engagement photos. It's an extra $500 for all of the pictures on a DVD. BUT he's doing a special through the end of October, where if you pay the $1000 deposit before the 31st, you can get the whole package for $1750. When I told him that wouldn't be possible for me to put down $1000 before October 31st, he said he doesn't normally do this, but maybe we split it up because he knows it must be hard with FI starting a new job.

The problem is that his photography is nice, but not great. Even some of his portfolio shots on his website are flawed enough to where I could point things out, like yeah, the composition is good, but it's out of focus.

So when he emailed me a couple days ago to tell me someone else had been inquiring about my date, I told him I'd understand if they got their deposit down before us and started looking at other photographers just in case.

And viola, I found one about the same price with much better work with my date open! And her deposit is only $500.

And now I feel like I'm cheating on my photographer since he emailed me again to see how it was going and how Todd was doing in Des Moines and to let me know the other couple had yet to put a deposit down, so I could still sneak in there and secure the date.

Saddest Lizarellie. I know business is business, but I'm just imagining this old man, sitting in his chair, sadly looking down at his camera. Breaks my heart.
Wedding Countdown Ticker image

Re: Sad (but not really that sad so don't worry).

  • oh yikes, didn't realize I had written a novel. Sorry guys.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • That stinks, I would lie. I know that's horrible but I would. I would say something like "oh I was so concerned with the cost and I was talking to a friend, turns out she knows someone who is new and can do it for no cost other than photos." Or you can always use the "I entered at a wedding fair and won an awesome photo deal".
        Not to sound terrible but I know alot of photogs and they use the "someone else is looking at your date" thing all the time to get people to commit. ALL THE TIME! So just tell yourself that he was fibbing first. Maybe have some engagement shots done with him or something, but don't let guilt control your choice. Remember at the end of the day after all is said and done you have a wonderful husband and a photo album. Good luck
    image
  • Ha, I've been trying to figure out a way to nicely be like "listen...I was only going to go with you because your work is passable but pretty cheap and you offer unlimited coverage, but now..."

    I'll probably just tell him that someone in the family is gifting us the photography and it's an old family friend. Immature, yes, but at least I get to run away without feeling like a huge bitch.

    I'm extremely loyal, if you guys couldn't tell, hahaha.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • Let him know a.s.a.p. so he can book the other couple.  Try not to take it personally, like you said, business is business and you really need to be happy with your wedding photos.
    Photobucket
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sad-but-not-really-sad-dont-worry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ee0b8df-0b43-40d8-affc-8e75a30608b7Post:0fd49eaa-8cfe-4be6-b415-f57bbcbe5304">Re: Sad (but not really that sad so don't worry).</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ha, I've been trying to figure out a way to nicely be like "listen...I was only going to go with you because your work is passable but pretty cheap and you offer unlimited coverage, but now..." <strong>I'll probably just tell him that someone in the family is gifting us the photography</strong> and it's an old family friend. Immature, yes, but at least I get to run away without feeling like a huge bitch. I'm extremely loyal, if you guys couldn't tell, hahaha.
    Posted by lizarellie[/QUOTE]

    In a perfect world, you should be able to be honest and tell him the truth. However, I know that's impossible sometimes. It's like how you feel like you're cheating on your hairdresser if you go somewhere else. I would go with the whole "sorry but we found a family friend who is going to do our photos as their present to us" type of thing. For some reason, saying that the other person is a family friend seems to lessen the blow in my mind.  I might use this line when a guy I know asks if I"ve found a DJ yet. Well, yes I have, and he's half the price of you. Sorry buddy.

    The only time lying like this could bite you in the butt is if it's a small town or if people know people and he finds out you went with xyz and they're not a family friend.  I would consider this before you say anything.
  • I do want to let him know asap, but first I need to make sure I get a deposit down on the other photographer and all that. Blerg. I'm kind of stuck without the money to make things concrete.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker image
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    Fifth Anniversary First Comment
    edited October 2010
    Why not be honest?  Sure - it may hurt his feelings a little, but he'll probably still book someone and you'll feel better about having been honest.  Also, the feedback will only help him in his business.  Sometimes constructive criticism is hard to take, but it only makes us better in the long run.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sad-but-not-really-sad-dont-worry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5ee0b8df-0b43-40d8-affc-8e75a30608b7Post:1e45bb29-ef03-4ebd-a06c-16e60d2fb3b0">Re: Sad (but not really that sad so don't worry).</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, I vote for just being honest with him. You can always plumb him up a bit and say something like you've really enjoyed talking with him, and you'll definitely recommend other brides take a look at him, blah blah blah. <strong>Just simply say that you've found another photographer who meets your needs a little better and have decided to go with that person</strong>. Like PPs said, business is business. I'm sure you're not the first person who's gone with another photographer after speaking with him, and I'm sure you won't be the last.
    Posted by akhensley81[/QUOTE]

    This is good too. You don't have to be specific about what you're "needs" might be. I understand being afraid to hurt his feelings, but I wouldn't worry about him staring longingly at his camera. I would think it won't be too hard for him to fill your space with another couple if he does this business full time.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards