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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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Guest List Issue!!!
Ok, I know I will get a lot of heat for this, but I don't know how to figure out moving forward with this issue. So give it to me straight!
My FI and I had a falling out with another couple about a year ago. My FI and I have reached out to this couple a million times to try and reconnect, but the girl in that relationship insists she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. My FI and the guy are still friends but rarely talk, as this guys girlfriend wants him to stay clear of us.
Overall, the guys have tried to make things work, and so my FI asked if we could be the bigger people and send a wedding invitation to them. He said he knew they would RSVP No, but wanted to, so that in the future we could maybe work things out. I said yes, knowing they would also RSVP No, considering I had emailed her a bunch saying sweet things about trying to get together and work things out, and she would not respond to them, but to say "I will let you know if I ever feel the need to work things out, but at this time, I don't"
Now we get the RSVP back, and they said YES. I told my FI I am excited that they want to move forward, so I sent her an email, letting her now I was happy to see the RSVP back as a Yes. She wont respond, and it appears she will not talk to me even still.
I asked my FI why she is coming if she wont talk to me, and that might make me feel uncomfertable on our big day. I clearly have to still have her come, but don't know what to do at this point, as it will make me feel sad if someone at our wedding wont even give me the time of day.
Any tips on what to do. I figure I should stop contacting her, but what do I do about my big day, let it go? I feel I will be disrespected by her cold actions, and I personally feel that isn't fair to do to a bride on her wedding day.
Thoughts???
My FI and I had a falling out with another couple about a year ago. My FI and I have reached out to this couple a million times to try and reconnect, but the girl in that relationship insists she hates me and wants nothing to do with me. My FI and the guy are still friends but rarely talk, as this guys girlfriend wants him to stay clear of us.
Overall, the guys have tried to make things work, and so my FI asked if we could be the bigger people and send a wedding invitation to them. He said he knew they would RSVP No, but wanted to, so that in the future we could maybe work things out. I said yes, knowing they would also RSVP No, considering I had emailed her a bunch saying sweet things about trying to get together and work things out, and she would not respond to them, but to say "I will let you know if I ever feel the need to work things out, but at this time, I don't"
Now we get the RSVP back, and they said YES. I told my FI I am excited that they want to move forward, so I sent her an email, letting her now I was happy to see the RSVP back as a Yes. She wont respond, and it appears she will not talk to me even still.
I asked my FI why she is coming if she wont talk to me, and that might make me feel uncomfertable on our big day. I clearly have to still have her come, but don't know what to do at this point, as it will make me feel sad if someone at our wedding wont even give me the time of day.
Any tips on what to do. I figure I should stop contacting her, but what do I do about my big day, let it go? I feel I will be disrespected by her cold actions, and I personally feel that isn't fair to do to a bride on her wedding day.
Thoughts???
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Guest List Issue!!!
"Halloween may have loose women scantily clad...
But Christmas has a pregnant virgin.
Way cooler." - anna.oskar
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest List Issue!!! : Yup. OP, I will give it to you straight. This chick wants no parts of you. You should not have invited her to the wedding. Now you're freaking out because they said yes. So, this is on you. If they show, smile, say thanks for coming, and move on to the next guest, and after the wedding LEAVE HER ALONE. <strong>If I hated you and you invited me to your wedding, I would think you were a creeper. </strong>
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]
<div>I'm not sure that's fair. I mean, her FI wanted to invite the guy, and we always tell people they can't invite people without their SO's, even if their SO's hate you. I don't see that she did anything wrong here.</div><div>
</div><div>I agree though that it's not a big deal and she won't even notice this girl on the big day. Just smile and be polite if you do, OP.</div>
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[QUOTE]Thank you, Ranch. I seriously would be creeped out if someone I didn't want to be friends with was emailing me over and over saying "sweet" things to mend our relationship. Then if I got an invitation to her wedding? Jesus Christ on a cracker. Not cool.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]
Yeah that would've bugged me too, like how many times do I have tell you to leave me alone kinda thing.
I do think it's strange that you are/were trying so hard to be her friend over and over when she clearly told you that she does not want to be friends.
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I agree that they may not show up... just to make sure you waste money on their meals. I also think the guy sent it back without her knowledge. Therefore, they may come back around later and change to a decline.
Dream Honeymoon/Actual Honeymoon Disneyworld
OK so the reason she hates me. We all traveled together, and the last time we took a trip we invited another fun couple. We all got along great, but the girl hated that I shared my time with other fun people. She told me, after the trip, she felt I left her out, and didn’t care about her as a friend.
Background, both me and the Girl were brought together because the guys have been long time friends. We tried to be friends, but she has been around longer then me, and hated my FI pasts girl friend. I was trying my hardest to look past her friendship issues, in order to make it easy on my FI and his long time guy friend.
Overall, I reached out to her because she flipped out on me for not being a good friend to her. I felt bad that I didn't try harder to spend quality time with her when she felt uncomfortable in group settings. ( I didn’t know at the time she felt uncomfortable)
I love how some of you assume im crazy for reaching out to her. I hate to be in the wrong, and I hate to hurt people. This situation, I hurt her, and she felt stupid for basically exposing her friendship issues. She isn't over it, as she feels I was not a true friend to her, because I would often plan group events she felt uncomfortable in, but never told me she did.
Hope this clears it up. We basically got in a huge fight over something we could have solved by just talking, and I regret not understanding any of this before she flipped out about it.
Also, her boyfriend told my FI that the only way they could really hang out more, was if we made up. He said if I do appologies, eventually she will come around. I emailed her when it was brouht up, not just for the heck of it.
I hope you would try harder to do something that is important to your FI. Even if it made you look a little desperate.