Wedding Etiquette Forum

I'd invite you if I could...

My fiance and I are planning on having a relatively small wedding.  There are several people (friends, but not very close ones; mostly sorority sisters and coworkers) who have talked to me about my wedding plans-and seem to assume they will be invited-that I do not plan on inviting to the wedding.  How can I address this?  If I was able to afford a larger wedding I would certainly invite these people, but I can't.  I know that lots of the people that would be on the "I'd invite you if I could" list have mutual friends with us that will be invited to the wedding.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but can't justify going over my budget.  We can't invite more than 150 people, and about 75 of those people will be family.  Any thoughts?

Re: I'd invite you if I could...

  • edited December 2010
    I change the subject whenever a non-invited person asks me about planning.  I say, it's a small family only wedding. 

    Small is a relative concept, so I would just stick with that line. 

    I've had people who aren't invited say "I can't wait for your wedding!"  I say, "Yeah I'm looking forward to it, unfortunately we're keeping it small with just family and very close friends."

    Generally people get the hint.  I think it's your call whether or not you want to flat out tell them they aren't coming, although I wouldn't do it.
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  • It's rude of them to assume they would be invited. I would just tell them sorry but your just having a small initimate wedding and can't invite everyone you would have liked to.  Don't mention budget.
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  • Just nicely tell them that you are working on a strict budget and the people that might be hurt by it will just have to get over it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_id-invite-could?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:61de205f-70a2-42ac-b848-97780b89b82fPost:d5e07323-228f-4bb6-be31-8adb85092618">I'd invite you if I could...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are planning on having a relatively small wedding.  There are several people (friends, but not very close ones; mostly sorority sisters and coworkers) who have talked to me about my wedding plans-and seem to assume they will be invited-that I do not plan on inviting to the wedding.  How can I address this?  If I was able to afford a larger wedding I would certainly invite these people, but I can't.  I know that lots of the people that would be on the "I'd invite you if I could" list have mutual friends with us that will be invited to the wedding.  I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but can't justify going over my budget.  <strong>We can't invite more than 150 people</strong>, and about 75 of those people will be family.  Any thoughts?
    Posted by marimbagal[/QUOTE]

    <div>Just tell people that you have a limited budget and you wish you could invite everyone but unfortunately you can't.</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, I would be careful about telling people you are having a small wedding.  Like PPs said, small is a relative term.  Many people think 150 is quite a large guest list!</div>
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  • Yup, tell them you are on a strict budget and only the closest friends and family will be invited. I hate it when people assume they are invited. If they don't receive an invite, they are not invited. Plain and simple.
  • I've seen it suggested to mention that your guest list consists mostly of family and leave it at that. For myself (we wanted 120 guests and are settling on about 150), I'm simply telling people that between venue restrictions, budget, and our large family, we are unable to invite everyone that we'd like.  Everyone seems to understand.
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