Work Invites

jenspeake

I work with quite a few people at my office.  There are some people I want to invite and some that I don't.   I feel bad not being able to invite everyone (I work with 30 people) but just cannot afford to.  I am close to about 5 of the 30 people.  Any advice on how to handle this situation?  Especially when you are already getting the....I'm invited right?...questions.  Thank you in advance!!

Kate61487

Don't talk wedding at work.  If someone who's not invited asks tell them "unfortunately we couldn't invite everyone we wanted to" and then change the subject.  Send the invitations to co-workers homes, and include their spouses/significant others.

achiduck

Send the invitations to their home and keep wedding related chit chat to a minimum.

Stackeye210

Just keep the wedding separate from work as much as possible.  Don't talk about details and if people ask questions about the wedding keep the answer brief and change the subject when you can w/o seeming short.  

At the end of the day people get butthurt b/c that's what they do, but I'm sure they'll understand deep down that they really weren't that close to you in the first place.  It will all be forgotten by the time you return from your HM I'm sure.  

If you are offered a work bridal shower I would politely decline.

dumdumfroggie

Ditto PPs.

divadancer11

It is rude of people to assume they are invited but people do....I would just say that you havent decided on the guest list and keep wedding talk to none at work.

I work for a large company and I am only inviting 3 w/SO's but I let those people know that they were the only ones invited and to not talk about it. It hasnt been an issue....yet!

rebarobert2012

Try not to talk about the wedding at work.

paulaswill

Ok so I've been struggling with work invites as well. And I'm having an extended guest list for the dance. However, I've heard that'd it's proper etiquette to invite your boss to the ceremony. How true is this ?

JenAndBillRod

I do agree that less talk is more at work... especially when it comes to up-front people who expect to be invited.

I work in a department full of women.  I invited mostly everyone in the department except a select few whom I would NEVER associate with outside of work.  I support that decision still, but it will create a bit of awkward tension as the wedding gets nearer, I'm sure.  But at $200 a head, why just invite people to make THEM happy when in the long run it's our day and it's our wallet? 

I want to know what you all think about giving Plus 1's.  As of now I sent Save the Date cards to my bosses and their spouses, Save the Date cards to my co-workers, and I offered 2 Plus 1's to the two people who are married... spouses only, I'm thinking.  Do you think that's okay if all of the co-workers attend together to not offer an invite to all of the girls' boyfriends?  (P.S. One of the boyfriends of my co-worker works in the company... that would open a WHOLE other can and may stir up other departments, in my opinion).  We don't really have room for them, but I DO want my co-workers there.

Thoughts?

heatherjking

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_work-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:629008f8-d0e4-4f61-b0f6-6fa676310247Post:fbc2bfb9-e5e1-4aed-ac3f-bd56ae0e3d39">Re: Work Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I've been struggling with work invites as well. And I'm having an extended guest list for the dance. However, I've heard that'd it's proper etiquette to invite your boss to the ceremony. How true is this ?
Posted by paulaswill[/QUOTE]

It's completely unnecessary to invite your boss to the ceremony.  It's also improper etiquette to have an extended guest list for just the dance part of the reception.  It can come across as "you weren't important enough to come to the ceremony or dinner, but you can come hang out after".

sparent2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_work-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:629008f8-d0e4-4f61-b0f6-6fa676310247Post:fbc2bfb9-e5e1-4aed-ac3f-bd56ae0e3d39">Re: Work Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so I've been struggling with work invites as well. <strong>And I'm having an extended guest list for the dance.</strong> However, I've heard that'd it's proper etiquette to invite your boss to the ceremony. How true is this ?
Posted by paulaswill[/QUOTE]

Tiered receptions are rude and no you do not need to invite your boss.

If you are inviting some from work as I am send the invites to their home address.

Barbie

Keep work and wedding very seaparate. I am only inviting those that i am close too but I am not extending it to their spouses or partners. As  they do not know me and i feel that if and when they are at the table eating or whatever sometimes you can't talk and be comfortable if they talk shop.. the spouses will be lost and maybe too much awkward silence.  I want everyone to have agood time and saometimes when your with co workers they will will talk shop or talk about something that not all spouses will know or understand. I know my crew..:)

mosh2012

OH YES..we have 25 days to go until our wedding..it is the time to send out our invitations, and guess what? the ENTIRE company (Large Corporation) is expecting their cards..I am not close to everyone and I am the type that likes to keep things for myself. However, my fiance and my sister in law both work at the same company and both are very super social (no we did not meet at work, he worked there after we met)..so anywho..I am not going to send invitations to everyone but the people that I really like and would want to celebrate my Big Day with me. My BOH works there as well but she is doing a great job not discussing things in the office. In addition, I took a month off before the wedding, a honeymoon month, and another just to chill out...so I will be away for awhile..yet again, they won't forget!

Good luck all and enjoy your "engagement and Preparations" Day

JWalker0612

I saw many of the women who work for my mom come in a pack without their spouses/boyfriends to my grandparents' funerals in the past, but I don't think you can necessarily expect them to do that to a wedding.  Its a celebration of love and I think they will want their loved one there.  It can also be awkward to expect them to not have a date to dance with at the reception.  Even allowing your single guests to bring a date with them I think is proper etiquette.  No one wants to be stuck alone or forced to hang out with anyone not of their choosing at a wedding.  Personally, unless I was really close to those co-workers, I probably wouldn't go to a wedding if my fiancee wasn't invited.  I think the only time it's necessary to worry about inviting "everyone" is when the group of people you're looking at inviting is small enough where it would be obvious that only specific people were left out.  In reguards to inviting your boss, I would say invite your boss if you are close to him or her and share your personal life with them on a regular basis, if not, don't worry about it.