Reception

lorenhackney

y fiance and I are on a tight budget and we plan on inviting close friends and family to the reception immediately following the ceremony and about two weeks later, we will have a big BBQ to invite everyone we couldn't invite to the "private" reception.  How do we do this?
Loren

opalsky007

I would not suggest doing this--it would make the guests invited to the BBQ only feel second-rate.

I would invite everyone you can afford to invite to a reception the day of. You could do this by either cutting to your nearest and dearest and having something fancy, or invite everyone you'd want to have at the big reception to an inexpensive event after the ceremony.

WildRumpus

Why not just put the money you're spending on the BBQ towards the reception?

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto Opal.

You can do a cake and punch reception; they're budget-friendly. I was going to ask if you're on such a tight budget, how within a couple of weeks you would be able to afford to feed these people anyway.  I suppose that depends on what kind of reception you're planning.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66567d5c-fa1d-4073-96be-4c81f4b29e49Post:3e9ceb86-6fcf-4e82-9ac6-1ead62de4f56">Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]y fiance and I are on a tight budget and we plan on inviting close friends and family to the reception immediately following the ceremony and about two weeks later, we will have a big BBQ to invite everyone we couldn't invite to the "private" reception.  How do we do this? Loren
Posted by lorenhackney[/QUOTE]

lorenhackney

I wasn't going to invite them to the ceremony and then the BBQ.  It was going to be ceremony and reception OR just BBQ.  I was going to have my mom and aunts and stuff help me with the BBQ as far as the food goes.

Mrs.B6302007

Two weeks just seems too close to the wedding and would be an obvious "consolation prize".   I would just skip the whole idea and get married with your nearest and dearest if that's all you can afford to do.  You do have 15 months to see if you can save up more money.

ETA Opal's idea below is another option IF you space it out far enough from the wedding.

opalsky007

If you just want to have a party, just throw a party, with no mention of the wedding. Mentioning it would just kind of draw attention to something they weren't invite to, you know what I mean?

About a month after we got married, we did something similar. We'd gotten settled in after the honeymoon, put all of the gifts away, and just threw our first big party as a married couple, with no mention of the actual wedding.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Everyone who comes to the ceremony needs to be hosted immediately after the ceremony. If that means you can only invite family and very close friends to the ceremony, so be it.

ETA: I read your follow up. I'd decide what kind of reception you want and how many you can invite and stick to that.

Brandiewine11

Why don't you just have a BBQ immediately following the ceremony as your reception? You don't have to have a fancy expensive reception. It's pretty rude and looks gift grabby to invite people to a 2nd reception who were not invited to the wedding. You should just have a small ceremony and reception, or a less expensive reception where you can host everyone you wanted (cake & punch). Don't do the 2nd BBQ.

SarahnVinny

Why not have a bbq reception at a nice park somewhere.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66567d5c-fa1d-4073-96be-4c81f4b29e49Post:84fc4d7c-7c56-4586-9a48-7008ecc0dae6">Re: Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]If its within your budget to host them all for a BBQ, why not just make that your reception on the day of the ceremony? I guess I'm not really following how a tight budget means you can't invite people to the wedding but can afford to host a pile of people two weeks after the fact.
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this.  If you can afford this BBQ, make this reception right after the ceremony.  It's rude to invite people to an event 2 weeks later, unless it's a DW with an AHR.  Even still though, anyone invited to the party should be invited to the actual wedding.  </div><div>
</div><div>If you really want it this way, have your BBQ with no mention of your wedding at all.  Just call it a bbq, then you won't offend anyone.  </div>

thesequel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66567d5c-fa1d-4073-96be-4c81f4b29e49Post:42fa4247-2feb-4a71-abf0-0abd70bf9f1f">Re: Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't you just have a BBQ immediately following the ceremony as your reception? You don't have to have a fancy expensive reception. It's pretty rude and looks gift grabby to invite people to a 2nd reception who were not invited to the wedding. You should just have a small ceremony and reception, or a less expensive reception where you can host everyone you wanted (cake & punch). Don't do the 2nd BBQ.
Posted by Brandiewine11[/QUOTE]

<div>I was going to suggest this also.  A simple BBQ is a great way for you to stay within your tight budget but still have everyone that you want without looking gift-grabby.</div>

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:66567d5c-fa1d-4073-96be-4c81f4b29e49Post:11171da5-73d2-4b48-bd4b-ae22e1259e22">Re: Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>If you just want to have a party, just throw a party, with no mention of the wedding. Mentioning it would just kind of draw attention to something they weren't invite to, you know what I mean?</strong> About a month after we got married, we did something similar. We'd gotten settled in after the honeymoon, put all of the gifts away, and just threw our first big party as a married couple, with no mention of the actual wedding.
Posted by opalsky007[/QUOTE]

I second this.  Go ahead and have a BBQ a couple weeks after the wedding, but don't present it as a wedding celebration.