Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?

TheBeckmeister

I was just at a wedding, and the guests at our table thought I should go up during the bouquet toss because I'm not married, even though I'm engaged.  Thoughts?

nda_roxybabe

The way I know it is that all non engaged ladies go up. Someone who is engaged wouldn't because she already knows she is getting married.

pandasquishy

Our DJ invited single and engaged ladies up.  Didn't bother me at all.

bbyckes

I was just thinking of inviting every woman up.  Whether they're engaged, married, single, widowed, whatever.  I don't want to single out the "single" ladies.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:0401cda3-11c6-4487-a6ac-57c8a0bcf711">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]The way I know it is that all non engaged ladies go up. Someone who is engaged wouldn't because she already knows she is getting married.
<p>Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>That's what is done here (if a bouquet toss even happens). </p>

sucrets4

Oh god, I absolutely despise bouquet tosses.  What a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces.

pooh8402

the purpose of the bouquet toss is to see who would be the next girl to get married. the engaged chicks already know when they're getting married. no engaged chicks.

fangsiting

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:a8581a28-c7b9-4183-b951-1c844f459a48">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh god, I absolutely despise bouquet tosses.  What a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

This.  I hate bouquet tosses.

nda_roxybabe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:22dae29a-c41d-45ab-93ba-8480ebad4400">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up? : This.  I hate bouquet tosses.
Posted by fangsiting[/QUOTE]

I like them, but they are the norm here.

sucrets4

They're the norm in my area, too...and I have always felt like shiit because people heckled me into going up.  That's why we didn't have one.

ggmae

I think whoever wants to go up should/can go up. We invited all women to participate (and all men to participate in the garter toss.)  My engaged friend caught the bouquet, and my married cousin actually caught the garter.

We did the tosses because it was important to N.

amalama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:92c4e97c-9e16-4db4-96e5-5bb590272466">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]They're the norm in my area, too...and I have always felt like shiit because people heckled me into going up.  That's why we didn't have one.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Exactly. I have been at one wedding where the bride was pointing out single people to the DJ so he could call them out over the microphone. I would never do that to my friends. I do know at least one girl that loves them though.

tlv204

I'm not a fan of them, but the last wedding I went to before we were married everyone pushed me onto the floor even though I was engaged. I just didn't try very hard to catch it. We didn't have one.

danieliza1127

I voted any woman who isn't married, but my heart said no one because bouquet tosses are stupid.  I figured that wasn't really helpful though.

When I went to my friend's wedding the summer before I got married, she made me go up for the bouquet toss even though I was engaged.  I hate bouquet tosses in general though.  No one really wants to go up there.

kimheartsscott

I voted that they are stupid.  And I haven't been to a wedding since I was engaged (well, I have but the engagement was a secret) so I don't have experience with people expecting me or not expecting me to.

luckyme502

I voted for everyone who is not married.  I hate the toss too, and I am not having one. 

LP11509

Usually my engaged friends (and myself for that matter) participate in the bouquet toss.  Most people don't seem to care, though a couple of years ago my friend's FI threw a fit when she got up to go join the crowd because he thought it wasn't proper for engaged women to do that.  But he's one of the most anal retentive people I've ever met, so maybe that had something to do with it.

kristinalily

We're putting gift cards with ours...so every woman goes up to try to catch it no matter what.

And for the person that said "what a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces"....isn't your WEDDING a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces? wow. great point there.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:f15e1e18-712e-4b50-86fe-bc47e6829dd6">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're putting gift cards with ours...so every woman goes up to try to catch it no matter what. And for the person that said "what a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces"....isn't your WEDDING a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces? wow. great point there.
Posted by kristinalily[/QUOTE]

No, a wedding is to celebrate.  I'm fine being a guest and partying with my friends and family.

However, taking every single person in the room and forcing them into the spotlight to catch some stupid bouquet is awful and rude, imho.

JessAndTrav

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:f15e1e18-712e-4b50-86fe-bc47e6829dd6">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're putting gift cards with ours...so every woman goes up to try to catch it no matter what. And for the person that said "what a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces"....isn't your WEDDING a great way to rub your marriage into people's faces? wow. great point there.
Posted by kristinalily[/QUOTE]

1. I still probably wouldn't go up there. To me, that's just like dangling a steak in front of a dog. I wouldn't want to be your dog.

2. You wedding is a celebration, not a "OMG! LOOK AT HOW WONDERFULLY HAPPY MY HUSBAND AND I ARE GOING TO BE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!1!!!!1!!1!!!11!"

It sounds to me like you really respect your guests. Way to go!

sweetviolet

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:92c4e97c-9e16-4db4-96e5-5bb590272466">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]They're the norm in my area, too...and I have always felt like shiit because people heckled me into going up.  That's why we didn't have one.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

This. We will not be having one either.

amalama

I don't think the problem is really throwing it in people's faces that you are married, it's throwing it in their faces that they are not. And implying that everyone is just desperate to get married next.

cukimerrydoll

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:17c358a6-3644-4916-9534-8c47e9b28c23">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]the purpose of the bouquet toss is to see who would be the next girl to get married. the engaged chicks already know when they're getting married. no engaged chicks.
Posted by pooh8402[/QUOTE]
This. 

But I doubt anyone would get kicked out of the toss if they are engaged.

Blueyed228

I thought it was just for the ladies who are not engaged and was super excited that the last 3 weddings I went to I was engaged for.  That was untill the stupid DJ had to add "That means all you engaged girls.  You are not married yet!"  Ummmmmmm thanks,

evabee

At most of the weddings I've been to, younger girls make up the most ferocious bouquet catchers... I'm talking about the 6-14 year-old range. I have a lot of younger cousins and I'm trying to figure out a way to make the primary catching group THAT kind of "single-girl" instead of my girlfriends who may feel uncomfortable.

I'm also doing the bouquet with a gift-card, so all my Aunts will probably be up there scrapping with the best of them.

CCBelle

Way to make the single female guests feel like losers.  I cannot stand bouquet tosses...  thankfully haven't seen one in a while.

K Byte

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:afaadd83-0779-4517-8fc9-1c7fadae3da6">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up? : Exactly. I have been at one wedding where the bride was pointing out single people to the DJ so he could call them out over the microphone. I would never do that to my friends. I do know at least one girl that loves them though.
Posted by amalama[/QUOTE]

That happened to one of my bridesmaids at her friend's wedding. The bouquet toss is extremely common and pretty much expected in our area (I'm not doing it though, no way) but they were having a pretty small mostly family wedding so there were a grand total of like, 5 single girls there. And the bride got on the mic and called out the single girls by name! I know the bouquet toss is "expected" especially in the midwest but you also have to know your guest crowd, sometimes it's just not appropriate.

BioGirl21

In the eyes of the state and country, you are single. I've been forced up to some bouquet tosses while engaged and it didn't bother me(although I hate the bouquet toss in general).

agk0125

All the single ladies
                    (all the single ladies)
All the single ladies
                    (all the single ladies)

Great..now I have the song stuck in my head.

If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

Sorry, I have no opinion on this. I just wanted to come in and sing a little.

swtasa

We're doing a toss... my family and friends love it, we have fun with it. Everyone tries to catch it. For the garter toss the guys stand awkward and wait for someone to pick it up lol.

But no one should be forced to do it ever

kristinalily

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bouquet-toss-goes-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6657643f-e8d0-4b90-b575-b0e516e9db68Post:a4d894ae-ade6-4b3d-a10d-bcb8ec6d78ac">Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bouquet Toss - Who goes up? : 1. I still probably wouldn't go up there. To me, that's just like dangling a steak in front of a dog. I wouldn't want to be your dog. 2. You wedding is a celebration, not a "OMG! LOOK AT HOW WONDERFULLY HAPPY MY HUSBAND AND I ARE GOING TO BE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER!!!1!!!!1!!1!!!11!" It sounds to me like you really respect your guests. Way to go!
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

You think because I'm NOT doing the traditional boquet toss I don't respect my guests? Or was that actually serious. If it was ignore this. But we're just doing the act of the boquet toss for fun...but including EVERYONE in it! single, married, whatever.