WWYD - RE: Choosing Bridesmaids

starla827

My FI and I are inviting a little over 100 people to our wedding, so we will probably have around 80 or so that come.

Originally, I planned on having my sister as my MOH and 2 close friends as BMs.  After talking to my mom and FI, we decided to add his sisters and my brother to the wedding party - bring it up for 4 BM + 1 Junior BM and 4 GM. 

I have another friend that I am close with and am debating adding to the wedding party.  I didnt want to add her originally because I thought we should keep the WP small, because our guest list is fairly small.  But, I really am close with her and would like to add her, I just dont know what to do. 

FI isnt sure if he wants to add another person, and I certainly dont think he should add someone just to make it more even.

Would it be ok to have 5 BM + Junior BM with only 4 GM?

andyandhillary

Uneven sides are perfectly fine.  That is kind of a big wedding party though for a small-ish wedding, IMO. 

BecW2be

Perfectly ok!

kate51485

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwyd-re-choosing-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:665f4a13-6716-48be-8f65-ddedba433982Post:303d0d40-7692-4633-9ad5-93a07821553c">Re: WWYD - RE: Choosing Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Uneven sides are perfectly fine. <strong> That is kind of a big wedding party though for a small-ish wedding, IMO. 
</strong>Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

80-100 people isn't really that smallish.

And 4-5 attendants is just fine.  Just because you don't want to invite the world to your wedding doesn't mean you can't still have more than 1 or 2 friends stand up with you.

akmackay

It's fine to have uneven sides, but perhaps you could just give her another role rather than BM? A reader or other VIP item might be better since you originally weren't going to choose her.

brookelynpaisley

Yep, uneven sides are fine. If you want to involve your friend, you could ask her to do a reading.

playazsweetness

My fiance and I are having a small wedding too. People have commented that I am going to have more people in my wedding than as guests! I don't care though. We are inviting 130 people, probably 90 will show. I have 7 bridesmaids, 7 groomsmen, 4 junior, 3 flower girls:), 1 ring b, and a junior groomsmen. However, i come from a large family, and my bridesmaids are mostly my sisters (except one). It will be fine if you have 5 and he has 4, even with a small wedding party.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwyd-re-choosing-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:665f4a13-6716-48be-8f65-ddedba433982Post:303d0d40-7692-4633-9ad5-93a07821553c">Re: WWYD - RE: Choosing Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Uneven sides are perfectly fine.  That is kind of a big wedding party though for a small-ish wedding, IMO. 
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

Do you have readers for your ceremony? If you don't want to add her, you can always ask her to read something.

starla827

Thanks everyone!

I agree that 80 - 100 people is not that small, but according to a lot of catering halls I have been to, it is.  100 person minimum has been pretty standard...

I think I will ask her, and be ok with an uneven WP.  And if FI decides to ask another person, thats ok too.  I know he has been debating a few people, but isn't entirely sure.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwyd-re-choosing-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:665f4a13-6716-48be-8f65-ddedba433982Post:c210054d-3095-4ab0-970c-0c9305153b25">Re: WWYD - RE: Choosing Bridesmaids</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I are having a small wedding too. People have commented that I am going to have more people in my wedding than as guests! I don't care though. We are inviting 130 people, probably 90 will show. I have 7 bridesmaids, 7 groomsmen, 4 junior, 3 flower girls:), 1 ring b, and a junior groomsmen. However, i come from a large family, and my bridesmaids are mostly my sisters (except one). It will be fine if you have 5 and he has 4, even with a small wedding party.
Posted by playazsweetness[/QUOTE]

Yikes.  And Yowza.  Almost 1/3 of your guests, approx. are in the wedding party?  That does seems excessive. 

ETA:  okay, my math was off.  Still, out of 90 guests, 23 people in the wp. 

starla827

I thought about having readers, but I don't think Jewish ceremonies have readings.  I know that someone reads the Ketubah, but I am not sure if it is supposed to be us or someone else.  If someone else, I think I want to ask my Uncle because we are close with him and would like him to be involved.

Idk...there are just so many decisions to be made when planning a wedding.  It's like having another full time job!

Calypso1977

uneven sides are fine.

however, remember that the more people in your party = more expense.  think flowers, RD meals, hair, gifts, etc.  that is purposely why we kept ours to one attendant on each side, we simply couldnt afford a huge WP.

tlv204

I think it's perfectly fine to ask her if you want to.

playazsweetness

Yeah well I wasnt the one asking for opinions:). I was trying to let her know uneven sides are fine. I have all my sisters in my wedding and that was obviously important to me.

brookelynpaisley

Uneven bridal parties are perfectly fine. We had one, and to be honest, I think our pics looked better: me in the center, 3 guys in black suits on one side, 3 girls in purple on the other. It's a really egocentric reason to like uneven BPs, but I'm actually glad it worked out that way.

pooh8402

actually, that sounds almost exactly like ours. so it's fine to me!