Sticker Shock

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Fi and I are starting to make appts with vendors for our wedding, and I'm really having sticker shock about everything. Our venue was very pricey, but it includes nearly everything, so I had this lovely idea in my head that there wasn't that much left to do. But we still need photog, music, and flowers. Plus all the little things that add up quickly (transportation, hotel, WP and parent gifts, favors, maybe photo booth). Anytime I look up info about these things, the cost is nearly twice what I thought it would be. I thought our budget was so generous, but I'm realizing it's not going to go as far as we had hoped. And we can't really save any more than our current plan, which is already a stretch.

I keep telling myself we have enough to work with and it will be fine. It's just also hard because we are having a long engagement for the purpose of saving-- so we have to book vendors before having the final amount in pocket. We have a year and three months to go, plenty of time to save up... but it's giving me the heebie jeebies.

Anybody else experience sticker shock? What are you cutting out of your wedding and don't miss, or what do you think you could have cut when looking back?

sarahufl · February 2014

oh, I experienced it big time. My sister got married in our hometown 5 years ago and did things VERY cheaply. My parents paid for theirs, but my sister was unable to contribute anything additional, so they did super budget.

FI and I are in a MUCH different financial position, so we agreed to upgrade some stuff. What I realized is that my sister found basically the ONLY cheap ANYTHING in our town, so our idea of what is a "normal" budget is so grossly distorted based on her budget. Everything just adds up so quickly.

I have certainly had some panic attacks about it, but I am trying to just relax.

buddysmom80 · February 2014

We haven't experienced sticker shock (yet) since when we made the budget whatever we thought what the price of was something, we doubled it. Good thing for us, is that we're getting married in the off-season (December) so we're getting a ton of discounts on the DJ and venue. We meet with the florist on Saturday, that'll probably be the real sticker shock, we'll see how that goes!

We haven't made any huge cuts yet. We're not doing uplighting or having a videographer. We're not having a Venetian table (which I think my guests wouldn't even notice). No limo, our photographer is only with us for six hours and we don't know if we'll get a hotel the night of the wedding, it depends on what time our flight is the next day.

AddieCake · February 2014

Yes. There were some things I had no idea about prices for, and I was very surprised.

Jells2dot0 · February 2014

I didn't really have a set budget for my first wedding and it ended up being a very pricey event. I didn't realy think much of it at the time and was just very pleased with how everything turned out and excited about booking the vendors I liked. This time around, after I got engaged, I took a step back and really thought about what I had planned last time. It actually made me sick that I spent so much money on the wedding. I was actually surprised I felt that way as typically spend a great deal of money each year on travel so it's not like I'm super fiscally conservative. So, yeah, I got my sticker shock way after the fact and there was no way I was going to spend that much again. So, I decided upfront that I had two priorities- photographer and destination- and was going to dump all of my money into those items and ONLY those items. I think knowing what to expect the second time around and knowing how the wedding industry tries to guide you into unnecessary things helped me stay calm.

lyndausvi · February 2014

We didn't, but both DH and I are in the hospitality business so we see prices on a daily basis.

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

Photographers were a big sticker shock to me! I used the same photog as my BFF, but she got her right out of art school. I had her with 4 years of professional experience, so I was a bit shocked since my friend told me how much she paid!

JCbride2015 · February 2014

The biggest sticker shock to me so far was actually the cost of the album. I had heard that photographers in our area range from $2k and up, and so far we have meetings with photogs in the $1700-$3000 range. What I didn't realize was those prices do not include ANY prints or the album. The album is going to be another $1k. O.o

pinkcow13 · February 2014

I am starting to get sticker shock. Our venue is at the top end of our budget, so I really want to keep things to a minimum but so far it looks like that will be hard. So far I have looked into a DJ (actually more reasonable than I expected), and I started looking into photographers. I have not gone dress shopping yet, but I imagine that will be more than I expect. Our venue only lets us work with 3 florists (everything else we can pick our own vendors), and from what I hear they are pretty pricey. Idk, a lot of this stuff is starting to stress me out. We should have plenty of time to save before then, though. But yes, it is pretty shocking, the price of some of these things.

Cokezerofreak · February 2014

I had sticker shock every time I talked to a vendor! I learned that the smaller businesses were more willing to negotiate down a price. My DJ was cheaper than any others we spoke with and also gave us a military discount (score!). Now I see on Facebook how he's all over the place, has some deal with NASCAR so I know his prices have to be higher. The photographer I got in at the right time and the military discount (double score!). The following week they raised her prices but even then, not as much as the others I spoke with. Out of all the vendors I love them the most. Our personalities mesh completely, lovely couple. Their pictures are beautiful, they had taken some at our venue before and now I see them doing Disney weddings all the time. The specialty linen place, the lady changes her prices every time I go in and act like I can't afford her price so that's good, lol.

I was able to negotiate a little with the venue but not much. The cake is from Publix and their prices are reasonable already. Dress was a sample sale, too!

My advice is to keep looking around. Ask for any kind of discount possible, military, teacher, police, etc. And don't sign up at wedding shows, they are more overpriced at those.

SBmini · February 2014

Oh, absolutely! My wedding is costing more than double what I originally thought it would. I think back to what I first said to my mom about what I thought it was cost. That original cost is my budget for food and drinks. And that's with a pretty affordable caterer ($54 per adult) and buying our own alcohol.

So no, you aren't alone. Costs are crazy. And we all say yes because it is our special day and we want everything to be perfect. Even now, I wouldn't go back and change much, but it is ridiculous that flowers for one day are costing more than my car!

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

I had an idea of what to expect most of my friends are already married. We're spending more than I expected to but because we decided to add on somethings such as photo booth, Vienese hour, and expand the floral budget. Although I do feel like NJ is such an expensive place to get married in. On numerous occaisions I thought about scrapping our plans and getting married in Vegas.

jdluvr06 · February 2014

Yes I had major sticker shock. Im lucky because I was able to cut back in some areas like the venue and flowers but other areas have really surprised me. The cake has been the biggest for me. We went with a very traditional white cake. No fancy flavors or over the top decorations but for the price of the damn cake we might as well have.

pumpkinsandturkeys · February 2014

I agree with the wedding album sticker shock -- we're paying close to a grand for some flushmount album that FI picked out because he liked it way better than the other options. Thankfully, our photographer is a good friend and she gave us discounts elsewhere.

Generally, not much has really surprised me. Even including the pricey album, our photography is right in line with what I expected, as are flowers, venue, etc.

The one thing that really floored me was the average cost of a decent videographer around here. It amazes me that so many people have $4000+ to drop on a video! (Some even go as high as $9000 - $10 000 here)

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

I had an idea of what to expect most of my friends are already married. We're spending more than I expected to but because we decided to add on somethings such as photo booth, Vienese hour, and expand the floral budget. Although I do feel like NJ is such an expensive place to get married in. On numerous occaisions I thought about scrapping our plans and getting married in Vegas.

Yes, NJ is just OTT expensive for everything. Our budget would sound like a dream in the South or Midwest, but we are way below average for NJ and it's stressing me out.

chibiyui · February 2014

I've had some sticker shock. Food and venue. FI had sticker shock for photog and flowers.

sofakingmad · February 2014

I don't think I was shocked by any of it. I knew how much we wanted to spend and I was able to keep everything in that range. It made for some extra research and work finding different vendors and what not, but in the end, it worked out.

Sugargirl1019 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

Peaseblossom55 said:

I had an idea of what to expect most of my friends are already married. We're spending more than I expected to but because we decided to add on somethings such as photo booth, Vienese hour, and expand the floral budget. Although I do feel like NJ is such an expensive place to get married in. On numerous occaisions I thought about scrapping our plans and getting married in Vegas.

Yes, NJ is just OTT expensive for everything. Our budget would sound like a dream in the South or Midwest, but we are way below average for NJ and it's stressing me out.

-------
No need for Vegas, just get married in Texas

Christina2323 · February 2014

I was shocked by the cost of a day-of coordinator!! I knew I wanted one...I need a buffer between myself, my family, vendors, etc. And there's a lot of logistics to set up that day. But I couldn't believe how much it is!

I decided against having one...for two weeks...then my mom came to visit and I remembered how much sanity is worth.

And I booked one the day she left, ha!

climbingsingle · February 2014

I haven't experienced sticker shock yet. I did get a good deal on a DJ (he brings a photo booth with him) and thankfully our friend knows him so he gave us a good deal.

We're not doing flowers. That's saving us a lot of money. For centerpieces I'm doing something with wine bottles and corks. And we drink enough wine that I already have enough bottles. And I have our friends all collecting their corks too.

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

The biggest sticker shock to me so far was actually the cost of the album. I had heard that photographers in our area range from $2k and up, and so far we have meetings with photogs in the $1700-$3000 range. What I didn't realize was those prices do not include ANY prints or the album. The album is going to be another $1k. O.o

That was the same for us. They now sell flat mounted albums online. So think about making your album yourself online after you get your prints from the photographer. That is what we did with our parent albums. We just used standard shutterfly hard covers for theirs, and waited for a sale - our total was $40 for 2 books.

Also, look into NYC photographers. You won't have to pay sales tax, since you will be marrying in NJ (right?). Our photographer was based out of Philly so that saved us a few hundred dollars!

JCbride2015 · February 2014

OliveOilsMom said:

JCBride2014 said:

The biggest sticker shock to me so far was actually the cost of the album. I had heard that photographers in our area range from $2k and up, and so far we have meetings with photogs in the $1700-$3000 range. What I didn't realize was those prices do not include ANY prints or the album. The album is going to be another $1k. O.o

That was the same for us. They now sell flat mounted albums online. So think about making your album yourself online after you get your prints from the photographer. That is what we did with our parent albums. We just used standard shutterfly hard covers for theirs, and waited for a sale - our total was $40 for 2 books.

Also, look into NYC photographers. You won't have to pay sales tax, since you will be marrying in NJ (right?). Our photographer was based out of Philly so that saved us a few hundred dollars!

I'm pretty sure NJ has sales tax on photogs. It's just clothes and shoes we save on the tax.

But our next meeting actually is with a NYC company. They are more expensive, though. Fortunately we are getting married close to NYC, so we have a good choice of vendors between NJ/NYC. Unfortunately... NYC is even more expensive, if anything.

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

@JCBride2014 You would be saving on sales tax because the person has their place of business outside of NJ. If you use a photog who owns their business in NJ, then you pay sales tax.

abbyj700 · February 2014

Yes - but mostly for the weddings I was in this year before starting to plan my own. Once I knew how crazy it could get - I set our budget and plan to stick to it. So far - our photog, DJ and dress are under budget. The biggest place we're going to have issues is food and drink. Our venue has options for us to fall under budget and over - so we're just going to work with what we've got and probably spend some of our surplus from staying under budget on this item.

And going to bridal shows did give me another layer of sticker shock - just that so many people will pay so much for things. That some special photog in the area won't even step foot at your wedding under $3k, that people actually pay for table lighting where you have hanging lights that spotlight your center pieces for $150 a table..and...yeah - just a host of things that made me go "HUHHHHHH???"

tcnoble · February 2014

EVERYTHING. We are really lucky and my dad is paying for the wedding, but I don't want to take advantage of him so we have tried to be very budget conscious. Photography was probably the biggest shocker for us... but we didn't want to sacrifice on a great photographer, so we shopped around for good deals on a DJ and photo booth, and booked them after a bridal show so we got discounts there too. The one thing we didn't try to cut corners on was cake, because we love cake.

Our venue was also a big shock - we live in Vegas so we expected things to be expensive, but with our guest list of 150-175, expensive took on another form. The per-person cost for dinner was a bit overwhelming at first, especially for my dad, but eventually we accepted it is what it is, cut the guest list where we could, and signed the contract.

We aren't doing favors - we have a photobooth and they get to keep their photo strips, so that will have to suffice - and we are passing on things like uplighting packages and a premium bar (though we are still having open bar).

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

@JCBride2014 I'm probably at about an average budget for an NJ wedding, I would love to see what that money would get me for a wedding in the midwest or the south, lol. I'm too close to my date to even try and I honestly I would probably cry....

thisismynickname2 · February 2014

Yup, nearly everything gave me sticker shock too, until I really thought about what goes in to every single price tag.

The photographer-- you're not only paying them for the day-of work, you're paying for all the time they spend processing and selecting the best photos out of thousands. You're paying for their overhead (travel, equipment). Their planning time. You're also paying for their profit, as hey, they have mouths to feed. As a relative cost, you're paying for their quality.

The DJ-- paying for day-of work plus travel, equipment, expertise, profit, and pre-planning (like our DJ has a great website to input all our decisions).

When people gasp, "$xxx per head?" Well, we're using a restaurant, so we know how much a regular meal is. When you add up all the courses, plus the time spent in the room and all the booze we expect people to consume, $xxx per head sounded like a steal.

And others already offered my suggestion- don't get the pro album! Get a photographer that gives you the rights to your photos, pick your favorites and make your own album. I created my own engagement album on Snapfish and it looks great, if I do say so myself.

jenna8984 · February 2014

Yes I definitely had a vision in my mind of like renting tables and chairs and tents in someone's yard and keeping it very cheap. Once I called some places and realized it cost almost the same as just using a venue and not worrying about the set up/ tear down I quickly changed my plans. The food is costing a little more than I expected as opposed to bringing in my own caterer. But overall I've done a really good job with finding bargains. I did a lot of asking around and it paid off. Most DJ's told me $1200 but a friend referred one and he said normally I'm $1,000 but since you're friends of Mike I'll do $800. So definitely ask friends for referrals.

I went over on dress and decorations but I honestly had no idea where to set my budget on those so I shot really low to begin with and didn't mind going slightly over.

Last night was funny, I was on Vista Print ordering invitations because they were half off. I showed FI ones on a different website and I said I really love these but I just can't justify that they cost 3 times more. He said well, how much? I said the VP ones are $70 and those ones are $200. He said "That's it?!?! I thought you were gunna say like $500" I was like what do you mean that's it- that's a lot for freakin pieces of paper when I have a million other things I can use that money for. Yea, he hasn't really seen the prices/ budget so he doesn't know hahaha (We are splitting paying for the wedding- he knows the total cost for him to pay by my budget but he doesn't know each individual item)

Emmy1493 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

Fi and I are starting to make appts with vendors for our wedding, and I'm really having sticker shock about everything. Our venue was very pricey, but it includes nearly everything, so I had this lovely idea in my head that there wasn't that much left to do. But we still need photog, music, and flowers. Plus all the little things that add up quickly (transportation, hotel, WP and parent gifts, favors, maybe photo booth). Anytime I look up info about these things, the cost is nearly twice what I thought it would be. I thought our budget was so generous, but I'm realizing it's not going to go as far as we had hoped. And we can't really save any more than our current plan, which is already a stretch.

I keep telling myself we have enough to work with and it will be fine. It's just also hard because we are having a long engagement for the purpose of saving-- so we have to book vendors before having the final amount in pocket. We have a year and three months to go, plenty of time to save up... but it's giving me the heebie jeebies.

Anybody else experience sticker shock? What are you cutting out of your wedding and don't miss, or what do you think you could have cut when looking back?

For some reason TK won't let me post my own comment, only quote.

Anywhoo, yes! My venue was what I was most shocked about! They have F&B minimum and it's crazy! Then again, it's pretty normal if you think about $$ per person for food and drink/ apps, etc. Everything else really didn't shock me as much. Plus FI's parents are very extremely generous as helping with costs.

flyingfoxes · February 2014

I know flowers are going to kill me. I'd actually be okay with not decorating with any flowers at the reception hall and finding something else. I want real flowers for my bouquets but I'd rather have the venue I want with decent food and providing drinks for my guests rather than spend it on flowers. We will also print our own invitations to save a bit (I have gift certificates to Amazon to buy the materials so we'd just be providing the ink). I think we'll skip favors, or do M&Ms (NOT personalized ones). I got a great deal on the photographer, and my dress and accessories so it's all about making sure the venue is what I want and the other "extras", we'll see.

climbingsingle · February 2014

JC - I'm using Genesis Events. I think they're in Long Island. But if they're traveling to me, they would for sure go to you. Check them out. Their price was very reasonable. We've been working with John. He's a friend of one of my FI's friends.

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