I'm bored on a Friday Night.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:62ee315b-1444-463a-9ed3-6969f55b36bd">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Diane- she is sooooo cute. Daff-I don't know what your relationship is like with your sibling, but there were no major expectations from my family. I mean I send gifts on bdays, holidays. I do hold them and spend time with them etc. I am asked to babysit here and there, but usually the grandparents do that.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
I do love my sister, which probably makes this all the weirder for me. I don't purchase gifts for children, nor do I hold babies. I certainly don't babysit (though I'm not so worried about that since there's a 5 hour disance). I feel that I need to remain true to myself on points like this, but then I worry I'll be shunned for doing so. I feel like no one understands.

Ciaram22

Edmund is doing great!

teachermegs

Jill- no pressure has been put on me to do anything that I don't want to do. Granted they live out of state. Do want you want and can as an aunt.

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:09815e30-9649-4570-8f2e-b6ebd5b5abcc">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : I do love my sister, which probably makes this all the weirder for me. I don't purchase gifts for children, nor do I hold babies. I certainly don't babysit (though I'm not so worried aboutt that since there's a 5 hour disance). I feel that I need to remain true to myself on points like this, but then I worry I'll be shunned for doing so. I feel like no one understands.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
Well don't worry about holding them. My SIL never holds newborns and nobody questioned it. I don't know about the gift thing. We only give gifts to the children in my family and not the siblings (it gets too expensive) so that's something you can work out with your family I guess. Keep in mind, some of your feelings might change too when your sister has the baby.

mica178

I'm sure your sister understands how you feel about babies and isn't expecting you to change.

musicalsunlight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:09815e30-9649-4570-8f2e-b6ebd5b5abcc">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : I do love my sister, which probably makes this all the weirder for me. I don't purchase gifts for children, nor do I hold babies. I certainly don't babysit (though I'm not so worried about that since there's a 5 hour disance). I feel that I need to remain true to myself on points like this, but then I worry I'll be shunned for doing so. I feel like no one understands.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]


I don't think it is unreasonable to not give gifts to the child, given your relationship. My aunts/uncles give me gifts but J's aunts/uncles don't. Not for the same reasoning as yours, but it is the norm for him. I think you should stick your ground.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:d6fda2a2-491f-4142-b0bc-5a78bd52ab80">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. :
Keep in mind, some of your feelings might change too when your sister has the baby.
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]
She had the baby, today.

I actually thought I'd get roasted for being the unenthusiastic aunt, so I really appreciate not being flamed (so far). I'm pleasantly surprised and it's helping me shake off the disorientation.

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:a62df9f1-30d2-489c-a46e-e3d019f37ab8">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : She had the baby, today. I actually thought I'd get roasted for being the unenthusiastic aunt, so I really appreciate not being flamed (so far). I'm pleasantly surprised and it's helping me shake off the disorientation.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
Fail on my part. I missed that. Your sister isn't my sister in law is it? she had a baby today too haha. Don't worry about it. You will be fine as an aunt either way. You don't need to give gifts or hold the baby to be an aunt.

mandysmear

oh.  holla.  i just finished packing! 

ciara, first margarita ever? or like since you got pregnant and stuffs?

musicalsunlight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:a62df9f1-30d2-489c-a46e-e3d019f37ab8">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : She had the baby, today. I actually thought I'd get roasted for being the unenthusiastic aunt, so I really appreciate not being flamed (so far). I'm pleasantly surprised and it's helping me shake off the disorientation.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

I have a question and please don't take this as snarky/sarcastic because I'm genuinely curious based on your feelings. When the baby gets older, is there kind of an age where you might feel more apt to have a more familial relationship? Is it just kids that you don't like to be around, or does it extend further? Again, just a curious question, whatever your answer. :)

Ciaram22

Jill as long as you stay true to your beliefs I see nothing wrong with not being excited to be an aunt.

Ciaram22

Since I got pregnant mandy.

[Deleted User]

Not a fail - I probably wasn't clear. I've known about this since November but have held back from talking about it since I assumed I'd get backlash for my feelings on it. It's such a relief to get this off my chest and not get skewered. Thanks y'all.

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:3c5e058c-c087-4d9f-8012-60f3d9494775">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Andy! I want him to meet knotties too but he is a little like Noodle with internet peeps. Which is silly because he is super super outgoing.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

just show him pictures of me, alix and fishy's GTG in fargo last summer.  alix and i both brought our husbands.  and we all had a fantastic time.  zero weirdness.

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:4001b583-f5af-4372-b9b7-48cfa92e1a6d">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Since I got pregnant mandy.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]

oh phew!  thank god :)  i hope you have a good birthday celebration!

ggirl2001

Daff- you also expressed it right. You said you weren't super excited, but you were happy for your sister right? That's whats important.

musicalsunlight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:304acbd2-b15b-45a1-87e6-cf6c80168598">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : just show him pictures of me, alix and fishy's GTG in fargo last summer.  alix and i both brought our husbands.  and we all had a fantastic time.  zero weirdness.
Posted by mandysmear[/QUOTE]

Mandy, I showed him pictures of my GTG with Andy, Steph, Nuggs, AND Fishy (all all the husbands minus my FI and Noodle) and he still is all iffy! Ridiculous.

Ciaram22

Thanks mandy. I love a good margarita and have missed having them.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:4541d3c5-853d-4930-8103-1edcdbff9241">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : I have a question and please don't take this as snarky/sarcastic because I'm genuinely curious based on your feelings. When the baby gets older, is there kind of an age where you might feel more apt to have a more familial relationship? Is it just kids that you don't like to be around, or does it extend further? Again, just a curious question, whatever your answer. :)
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]
Yes, yes. Good question. Once kids get to be older I enjoy them on a case-by-case basis. The arbitrary age I'd place on it is 10, though potentially...8? I get very anxious around babies and toddlers, but older kids are fine as long as they're not dipshits. That being said, I have no expectation that in the scenario that I avoid the baby/toddler stage, that the 10-year-old would be enthusiastic about me. I'd understand.

mandysmear

i'm just like replying as i go.  but, in regards to tv.  i find i watch more of it now that i have PVR.  but i'm enjoying music and doing other things, which is awesome.  i cook to music, and then watch tv later.  i don't have to schedule my life around tv.  i just watch like a bunch of hours of it at once on the weekend when i have time, or a random tuesday night. 

so, yeah.  i'm in love with PVR!

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:67f14713-fc90-4517-b06a-c02768ff625d">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]We took Edmund to Ivars at 6 days old and he slept through the whole thing. Now he's fussy every hour or two and my mom wanted us to go to a fancy restaurant in Seattle tomorrow and I finally just didn't want to have to leave halfway through the meal if he started fussing.
Posted by Ciaram22[/QUOTE]
I've left so many meals halfway through its not even funny, so I feel your pain!

musicalsunlight

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:7c337d97-a2a4-4532-b375-8d05a27c9bfe">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : Yes, yes. Good question. Once kids get to be older I enjoy them on a case-by-case basis. The arbitrary age I'd place on it is 10, though potentially...8? I get very anxious around babies and toddlers, but older kids are fine as long as they're not dipshits. That being said, I have no expectation that in the scenario that I avoid the baby/toddler stage, that the 10-year-old would be enthusiastic about me. I'd understand.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

That makes sense. You never know with how they will feel I suppose. My uncle was gone for a majority of time from age 0-7 and then again from like 11 years old until last summer. I still love talking to him when we are together at family gatherings though, so ya never know.

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:965f9dec-e3bf-42dc-b5d3-8e1488d33b68">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies! I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Happy long weekend to my fellow Canadians.  Oh...and someone else wants to say hi.  Don't worry, I fixed her awkward position after I took the photo. :)
Posted by dianemc10[/QUOTE]

watermelon baby!!!  what's her name?!

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:01ab32a2-d8a2-4f2b-bb26-1ce97a1f71a6">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : That makes sense. You never know with how they will feel I suppose. My uncle was gone for a majority of time from age 0-7 and then again from like 11 years old until last summer. I still love talking to him when we are together at family gatherings though, so ya never know.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]
This. I had an aunt that wasn't around growing up due to distance. However, we are close now and get along great. She didn't really send gifts or anything like that either.

Ciaram22

We are still going out the restaurant is just not as fancy as what my mom wanted. I still may have to get up and leave halfway through though.

musicalsunlight

Mandy-- I know the first name was Julia. can't remember the middle name though.

[Deleted User]

Yeah, maybe down the road she'll think I'm cool shiit, or maybe she'll resent me. Time will tell, I guess. In the meantime I hope that I can remain true to myself without completely alienating everyone.

mica178

Ciara -- I'm excited for your first post-pregnancy margarita!

mandysmear

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:dcbabec3-a7b0-4725-93dc-5444e68984cc">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night. : I've left so many meals halfway through its not even funny, so I feel your pain!
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

whoa.  ghoti has a kid?

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_im-bored-friday-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:68cc6b6f-a5ef-41f4-9b7e-5af03122a401Post:52b2c693-a941-47cf-9439-1333663681ff">Re: I'm bored on a Friday Night.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, maybe down the road she'll think I'm cool shiit, or maybe she'll resent me. Time will tell, I guess. In the meantime I hope that I can remain true to myself without completely alienating everyone.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]
You might find a comfortable middle ground. Has your family expressed any expectations to you about it?