Wedding Etiquette Forum

What's approppriate with inviting co-workers

I work in an office with 7 girlsI, and I don't really want to invite all of them to my wedding, but they pretty much are assuming they are coming.  I also hang out with quite a few people from work, and so if I invited people it would add on an extra 20 or so people.  I am also getting married where I work so I am torn on if I should just not invite anyone except my 2 bosses and their husbands and thats it.  I also have been invited to 2 weddings of people I work with and am good friends with the wedding specialist so I obviosly want to invite her and her husband, but is that rude to invite only 3 people and their guests.  I am so confused on what I should do, and it's bothering me, plus I need to finalize my wedding list by the end of the year.  Thank you in advance for your help.

Re: What's approppriate with inviting co-workers

  • If your wedding isn't until August 2011, why do you need to know by the end of the year?  If it's for STD's - just don't send STD's to ANYONE from work.  A lot can change in 8 months - what if you don't work there anymore, what if some of the people you send STD's to don't work there anymore.  

    If it's for venue selection - pick one that will accommodate them all IF you decide to invite them when invitations go out.  The difference of 14 people (3 plus guests minimum vs. 20 ppl max) shouldn't make or break any venues.

    To answer your questions.
    It is not rude to only invite 3 coworkers and their spouses/SO's.  

    General rule of thumb - invite people you hang out with outside of work, and try not to talk about the wedding too much while at work (easier said than done since you are getting married where you work.)
  • I only invited 3 colleagues. The rest understood. I was really close to those three.

    But I had more than 7. Honestly, I'd probably invite all 7. You don't have to, technically, but it might make your life easier.
  • Usually I'd say only invite co-workers you are friends with outside of work but I don't understand your work dynamic at all from your post. I'm totally confused, so feel free to clarify or correct some of the assumptions I've made.

    If there are seven people in your office, even if you hang out with and invite all of them that would be at most 14 (if they all are in relationships), not 20+ people.

    You're getting married where you work, what kind of work do you do? I mean, it sounds like you work in the wedding industry so if your co-workers will be working at your wedding then I don't get how you could invite them. If those invited to your wedding will be taking time off and the non-invited will be working at the wedding that would be extra akward.

    If it's a coincidence that you're getting married where you work (like you work at the courthouse or something) then the fact that it's at your work location is irrelevant.
  • I work in a hotel so I am friends with people from all kinds of departments, and they are all married or in serious relationships so I'd want to invite their significant others.  I figured that most people would undterstand on if I didn't invite everyone and just invited the ones I am close with.
  • Agree with pp that said don't send a Save the Date..... but still consider inviting them when it gets closer to time to send out invitations.

  • In my opinion it has to be all or nothing. I faced a similar situation except on a larger scale.   My division is about 38 people (not including their dates/spouses) and I am pretty much friendly with all, though closer to some.  To me, I couldn't imagine hurtting some people's feelings by not inviting (for instance, a coworker of mine who has worked their for 25 years recently had her daughter's wedding - she only invited her longtime friends from teh ofice - nobody said anything but some people's feelings were a tiny bit hurt, including mine).

    I explained to my co-workers that we were having a smallish wedding of only family and a few very close friends. the
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