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Wedding Etiquette Forum
hollyallyse
member
Question about open bar
Hey all! I usually just lurk here but first I would like to say thank you because I have learnt a ton. I was clueless about wedding related etiquette before I came on here.
My question is related to getting a head count for open bar. We have put a deposit on our venue and they told us that closer to the day we need to let them know how many people will be taking advantage of the open bar so they could charge us accordingly. Obviously we aren't going to count people under 19 because they can't legally drink but how do you figure out for everyone else? Should we just assume that everyone over 19 will be drinking and pay for everyone? We have lots of elderly family members attending and FI says a lot of his huge family doesn't drink they are all OOT and I have never met the majority if them He says we should put a check box on the RSVP along with the meal selection so that people can let us know if they'll take advantage of the open bar. I told him I think that seems a bit tacky?
What did you guys do? Did you just assume everyone would use it and pay for everyone?
BTW sorry if the spaces disappear, I'm writing this from my phone
My question is related to getting a head count for open bar. We have put a deposit on our venue and they told us that closer to the day we need to let them know how many people will be taking advantage of the open bar so they could charge us accordingly. Obviously we aren't going to count people under 19 because they can't legally drink but how do you figure out for everyone else? Should we just assume that everyone over 19 will be drinking and pay for everyone? We have lots of elderly family members attending and FI says a lot of his huge family doesn't drink they are all OOT and I have never met the majority if them He says we should put a check box on the RSVP along with the meal selection so that people can let us know if they'll take advantage of the open bar. I told him I think that seems a bit tacky?
What did you guys do? Did you just assume everyone would use it and pay for everyone?
BTW sorry if the spaces disappear, I'm writing this from my phone
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question about open bar
[QUOTE]Hey all! I usually just lurk here but first I would like to say thank you because I have learnt a ton. I was clueless about wedding related etiquette before I came on here. My question is related to getting a head count for open bar. We have put a deposit on our venue and they told us that closer to the day we need to let them know how many people will be taking advantage of the open bar so they could charge us accordingly. Obviously we aren't going to count people under 19 because they can't legally drink but how do you figure out for everyone else? Should we just assume that everyone over 19 will be drinking and pay for everyone? We have lots of elderly family members attending and FI says a lot of his huge family doesn't drink they are all OOT and I have never met the majority if them He says we should put a check box on the RSVP along with the meal selection so that people can let us know if they'll take advantage of the open bar. I told him I think that seems a bit tacky? What did you guys do? Did you just assume everyone would use it and pay for everyone? BTW sorry if the spaces disappear, I'm writing this from my phone
Posted by hollyallyse[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>If you were to tell them 50 people were drinking, how would they ensure only 50 people were drinking? Or is it that they would only bring enough alcohol to serve 50 people? If you estimated low, could you pay the difference after the wedding? If you estimated high, would you get a credit back? I've never heard of a venue doing it like this. I'd ask them all of the questions I just asked you. </div><div>
</div><div>I DEFINITELY would not ask guests ahead of time. </div><div>
</div><div>I found this wedding alcohol calculator, which might help: <a href="http://www.thealcoholcalculator.com/." rel="nofollow">http://www.thealcoholcalculator.com/.</a> If you don't know the answer, just trust the defaults. I would rather overestimate how much alcohol is needed than have them run out in the middle of my reception.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Question about open bar: This. Are you sure they don't mean that the need a final head count of guests coming that are over 21?
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>I'm assuming she's from Ontario. Drinking age is 19 up here. </div>
[QUOTE]Oh I didn't even know that this wasn't the norm but it makes sense because anyone could lie about how many people would be drinking. Maybe we will just count anyone over 19 we are in Canada because if not I guess I would just have to guess? It's a venue in rural Canada so I'm not sure if they just make their own rules but they literally just told me to tell them how many people will be using the open bar because they know that not everyone drinks.
Posted by hollyallyse[/QUOTE]
<div>I would just go with anyone 19 and over to make your life easier. Like Liatris said, people use weddings as special occasions to indulge in things they might not normally do.</div>
My venue charges 3 prices per person based on:
over 21 (food and drink included in one price)
Young children (kids meal)
under 21, but eating adult meal
I know I have at least one recovered alcoholic, but his meal will cost the same as other adults. I think it all kind of balances out. Some will drink a lot, some might not drink at all.
Go with anyone over the legal drinking age in your count
[QUOTE]Sorry I didn't mean to insinuate that elderly people don't drink. I just know a lot of the ones in my family can't. Thanks so much for all the advice! : I think I will just include everyone over 19 then. It's a lot easier that way anyways.
Posted by hollyallyse[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Count everyone of drinking age and older, just to make your life easier. My H's 95 year old grandmother loves having a glass of wine :)</div>
[QUOTE]Hey all! I usually just lurk here but first I would like to say thank you because I have learnt a ton. I was clueless about wedding related etiquette before I came on here. My question is related to getting a head count for open bar. We have put a deposit on our venue and they told us that closer to the day we need to let them know how many people will be taking advantage of the open bar so they could charge us accordingly. Obviously we aren't going to count people under 19 because they can't legally drink but how do you figure out for everyone else? Should we just assume that everyone over 19 will be drinking and pay for everyone? We have lots of elderly family members attending and FI says a lot of his huge family doesn't drink they are all OOT and I have never met the majority if them He says we should put a check box on the RSVP along with the meal selection so that people can let us know if they'll take advantage of the open bar. I told him I think that seems a bit tacky? What did you guys do? Did you just assume everyone would use it and pay for everyone? BTW sorry if the spaces disappear, I'm writing this from my phone
Posted by hollyallyse[/QUOTE]
Why 19? Drinking age in the US is 21.
Yes I know. But I live in Ontario and the drinking age here is 19.
For an one bar how many will participate. They are only charging for those that will drink. I was wondering myself how to give them a number Posted by Ckfragall[/QUOTE]
So glad to hear I'm not the only one!!! I was beginning to think that my venue was just odd. Everyone on here seemed surprised that they do it that way. Oh well I've got some great advice from everyone. I'm just going to include anyone over drinking age UNLESS I am 100 sure they don't drink due to health or personal beliefs.