So how do you feel about...

krizzo17

..."plus ones"? I'm talking about letting your single guests bring a random date, not people who are in relationships (I know that they're automatically invited).

Before I started wedding planning, I felt as though it was necessary to allow all of your guests to bring a date, but now that I realize that accounts for over $1200 of my wedding budget, I'm having second thoughts. So, a two-part question:

Would you be offended if you were single, and not invited to bring a date with you to a wedding?

If you left room for guests to bring dates, how many actually did?

Thanks!

lauralaur

I've never been in the invited single to a wedding boat so I can't really speak to that, but I'm pretty sure that none of the singles I invited with a plus one actually brought someone. We had a lot of out of towners though so that may have been a factor.

If I was single and invited with a plus one, I think I'd probably go solo rather than bring a random friend.

However, there's really no way to know how many of your single friends and family will bring someone until you invite them.

achiduck

I have only ever brought a date when I was actually in a relationship. The one exception was when I was single and invited to a wedding where I really didn't know anyone. That I opted to bring a "date" too - ie a friend of mine. 

We're debating the same issue with our guests that are 100% single. We're considering things like how many people they'll know and how old they are (ie. FI's 16 year old cousin does not get a date, but the 23 year old might). 

MyUserName1

I would not be offended and I think it's a pretty easy cut to make.

That said, please leave a little buffer in case some of those single guests becomes un single between now and then.  Also, I'd invite OOT guests with a plus one.  They might not want to travel alone.

chelseamb11

If any single guests won't know anyone else at the wedding, I would still give them a +1.  I'd feel very bored at a wedding where I didn't know anyone.  However, if I was single and knew a bunch of people there, then no, I wouldn't be offended.

Loopyseven

I have gone to weddings single and as a couple.  I don't remember if I could have brought a guest when I went solo or not.  I knew lots of other people at the weddings I went single to, and we kind of went as a group, so it was fun regardless.

LP11509

I went to a couple of weddings without being offered a plus one back when I was single.  At one of them, I knew several other people so it wasn't a big deal.  At another one, I didn't know a single person other than the bride/groom, and I ended up leaving shortly after dinner because it was awkward (to be fair though, this was mostly because I'm deaf, so it's not easy for me to talk with random strangers). 

And FWIW, we gave everyone a plus one.  The only single person who actually brought a date was my MOH.   Don't bank on that happening to you, though. 

melntaitt

My single guests are offered a plus one because I don't want them to feel lonely and out of place; especially since a couple of them are just friends of mine and I can't give them too much attention on my wedding day.

I think if they know other people there it won't be a big deal, but I would let them have the option if the budget allows.

The Mel and Todd Show

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_feel-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:70e0a7fb-3ac2-426b-adfd-d24cbe242595Post:04ebd839-78c2-4938-b769-a687b45fd17d">Re: So how do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]My single guests are offered a plus one because I don't want them to feel lonely and out of place; especially since a couple of them are just friends of mine and I can't give them too much attention on my wedding day. I think if they know other people there it won't be a big deal, but I would let them have the option if the budget allows.
Posted by melntaitt[/QUOTE]



I'm sorry, Mel and who? This town ain't big enough for the two (four) of us. Pick your weapon.

mkrupar

I think inviting single people with +1s should be based on a few factors:

1) Are they going to know anyone there?
2) Are they having to travel?
3) Is it in your budget?

If a single person is part of a group of friends going to the wedding then they don't need a date. If they have to travel AND won't know anyone, I'd extend them a date. If they're truly single and it's in your budget you can invite them with a date, but you don't have to.

FWIW we invited all single guests with dates and only 1 person brought one.

trixie549

If your budget allows for it, I think it's a nice gesture to extend a +1 to all truly single guests. If I was not in a relationship, though, I wouln't be offended if a +1 wasn't on an invite (lots of negatives in that sentence- makes sense?).

tenofcups4me

We invited all single guests with a guest. I don't think anyone opted to bring someone, though a couple of people weren't sure till late in the game if they were or not.

I think it depends on the mix of guests you're going to have. When I was younger and most of my friends were single and unattached, it wasn't a big deal to go to a wedding alone since most of us were single. When I got older and most people were in couples, I was pretty much always invited "and Guest" and I almost always brought someone.

Even if I knew everyone there, I found that there's little that's more depressing than sitting at a table at a wedding by yourself because the rest of your table is couples and up dancing.

So, to me, it's not just a question of if the single people will know people but if there are a lot of other single people there too.

HockeyFan4

we invited all of our single guests with a plus one (approx 20 or so people)...only one brought a guest.....but all of our singles were either family, coworkers that would know and like other coworkers, or part of a big group of mutual friends.

krizzo17

Thanks ladies!

All of our single people are either friend of ours from college (1 guy, 2 girls, we all lived together freshman year), friends from our high schools who all know each other, or members of our families. It didn't occur to me that none of these people will be "alone", and many will be busy catching up with friends they haven't seen in a while anyway

sweetcanadian1979

I gave every single adult an option to bring someone, i budgeted that way & cut people we are not "close" to, to make it happen. I want everyone to feel comfortable, i do not want people left sitting at a table alone if everyone gets up to dance or something, if they choose not to bring someone that is ok. Most of my list are not truely single anyways. 

Avion22

I met my fiance at a wedding -- we were both single, and neither of us brought a date.  So I guess I'm a little bit biased:-)  Seriously though, weddings are a great place for your single friends to meet someone who they already know they have something in common with.

Having said that, we are allowing our single guests  +1's.   We only have like 4 single guests coming, and they're all first cousins who are traveling, so if they want to bring someone, they can.  

goobersinlove

I've been invited to a wedding as a single guest without a plus one before - I knew people there, and it didn't bother me one bit.

Lots of our friends are still single and we don't plan on doing plus one's for them. I would make an exception if someone wasn't going to know anyone else there, but this isn't the case for our groups of friends. 

The way I see it is we have cut our guest list a lot already, and I don't want to have some stranger there for someone's "date" instead of having someone who we really wanted there.

rebarobert2012

I think that the last time I went to a wedding as a single was when I was 13, and I remember having a blast.  My friend's brother got married.  However, my age might have had something to do with that because I was pretty excited to be at a real live wedding reception. *lol*

I felt like I was single at the last wedding I went to because my fiance was in the bridal party, so he was seated at the head table.  The bride and groom didn't include significant others of their wedding party at the head table, so I ended up sitting alone!