Who paid/is paying for your wedding?

Nebb

My mom paid for the reception, we paid for everything else.

AdeleDazeem

My parents are uber traditional and think it's their god given job to pay for my wedding.  I did not realize this when I got engaged and assumed my fiance and I would pay for everything.  We tried to actually bring this up, but it's not up for discussion with my parents.  I never asked for the money, I never assumed it existed - they simply offered and I graciously accepted. 

I realize that I am *extremely* lucky.  It's the girls who come on here saying "my parents won't pay!" or "we told them to budget!" that I want to strangle and I fear that makes me a hypocrite.  But, we have the money to pay should something happen.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

TLV - My friend's dad died when she was 2 years old and left her stock from the last company he worked for - Hewlitt Packard. So she's owned stock in HP since 1983. Yeah, she put herself through college and bought a new car when she was 17. (It kind of sucks because her half sister got the same car 10 years later - no trust fund for her and therefore no new car! But my brother sort of got the shaft, too, since my grandmother left me college money and not him. He was 3 months old when she died.)

MyNameIsNot

My parents paid for the reception, the photographer, and my mom paid for my dress (but my dad doesn't know that).  We paid for pretty much everything else, but his mom and dad each gave us cash gifts that paid for most of the RD.  I'd say we covered 40%.

kd.joseph

We've both been married before, so yes we're paying for our own wedding. But its just us and our kids. The majority of the money we're spending on the beachouse for the week.

crfische

His parents gave us a chunk of money before the wedding to spend as we wanted, and my dad paid for most of the rest as we went along.

We ended up spending quite a bit of our own money as well.

Night_Sprite

We're doing just over 2/3 and my parents are doing about 1/3.  His parents are hosting a really low key rehearsal dinner.

salt78

My parents are paying for the whole shebang in T&C. FI and I are paying for the reception at home.

squirrly

FI & I are paying for everything except the RD (his parents) and my attire (my mom, but secret so that my dad doesn't know).  I think my dad is intending to give us a sizeable cash gift, but not to pay for the wedding.

Oh, and my grandmother decided she wants to give us her gift early so that we can use it for the HM.  But, we're budgeting without considering that.

ggmae

My parents gave us a small chunk of money a few months before the wedding and told us to use it how we needed to. In the end, we covered 75% of the total cost and my parents covered the other 25% (with that small chunk of dough.)

Bubbalub

So far S and I are paying for everything ourselves. Most of it is from him, though, as he is a super saver and makes 2x the salary I do. His mom offered me some money if I find a dress that I love but is over my own budget, which I think it just the sweetest thing she could have done for me. We have only booked the venue at this point, though, so we'll see how it all pans out.

I was married once before, very young, and my parents contributed a set amount of money to my wedding which covered the cost of the reception. This time around I do not expect a dime from them but if they should offer I would graciously accept. I don't want to take money that could go to their retirement or my sister's wedding when that happens, though, so we are planning a wedding that WE can pay for alone. Anything else is gravy.

jacki_sue

**EDIT**

Wow.  Sorry, Etiquette girls.  I posted this to my club board and for some strange reason it showed up on yours.

Carry on!

J

Phoeber

It was split pretty evenly 3 ways between my parents, in-laws, and us.

mags0607

I think I also won the wedding lottery. My grandmother set up a savings account for me when I was born. She contributed weekly into the account until she died when I was 8. My mom invested the money from that account very wisely, and has let it mature until now. She wrote me a check from that account for our wedding expenses when we got engaged. I had no idea the money even existed, and I am very happy that she didn't have to incur such a financial burden (she is very traditional and has always said she would host my wedding) for our wedding. I am extremely grateful for the gift she gave us for the wedding. If we go over that budget, we make up the difference ( but we won't go over.)

Fi is the first in his family to have a big wedding, and his parents are not originally from the US, so while they are excited for us, they haven't offered money or anything. I don't think they even know traditionally what the groom's family pays for, and we aren't going to tell them. We are planning to pay for the rehearsal dinner and the welcome party for our guests, as well as our rings.

My aunt is paying for our honeymoon. I am her goddaughter, and she gave that to us as a gift. We are so lucky, and are using the money we had saved up for a down payment on a house.

berryholly

My parents paid for everything (no strings attached - they let us make all the decisions) but the rehearsal dinner, which H's parent's paid for. H's parents also gave us a pretty large chunk of money as a gift, which we used to pay for the honeymoon and then saved the rest. We were extremely lucky and very grateful.

ocprincess

My parents are paying for the main wedding costs and their photo book.

FI's parents are paying for their photobook and the rehersal dinner.

FI is paying for our photobook, the honeymoon, my rings and his attire.

I paid for FI's ring and some of the little extras.

lindseroo

My parents are giving us $5,000, FILs said they could match the $5,000, and we will pick up the rest!  Hopefully only around $2,000-3,000.  So...pretty evenly split! 

AntjeOct2010

My parents are paying for the reception (at least the caterer anyway) and ceremony location, as well as for my dress.  We're paying for everything else (maybe even the venue), but a lot of it is DIY.  And his mom is paying for the RD and possibly the flowers. For the honeymoon we're using his Aunt and Uncle's timeshare and his mom is giving us her frequent flier miles. So it's not really 'evenly' split, but it's still being split between mutlitple parties, which has been a huge help.

The only problems we've had with this is that his side of the family thinks that my parents should be paying for everything wedding day related so we can save our money for a house.  But I don't mind so much and FI is learning to deal with it since I can't really do anything about that.

stressed2010

Mom and Dad are giving FI and I $5K, I had saved $3K, FI parents are giving $1K towards the food at the reception and they are also paying for the rehersal dinner. FI is paying $5K for rings and honeymoon.

mybestfriendsfuturemrs

Unfortunately my mom lost her job and my dad came out of retirement to try to make money so that they can just pay their bills.  Otherwise, I'm sure they would have loved to contributed.

I haven't heard FI's family offer any money as of yet, but FI said that his mom will pay for RD.

[Deleted User]

Unfortunately, my fiance and I are paying for it. My Mom and I don't get along very well and she doesn't agree with my choice of husband (they had words long ago), and I believe she is taking it out on me. They can very well afford to, and they always used to joke their savings was for my wedding some day. My Mom didn't even offer to buy my veil or any other smaller priced items. His parents can't really afford to help, even though they are paying for the rehearsal dinner. My mom wouldn't even go with me to pick reception sites, but his Mom did. His parents have been much more helpful and they support us fully. I am beginning to feel like his parents are more my parents than my own. It sucks, but I look at it this way, I have to be happy and that is all that matters. B/c my Mom is a miserable person, she wants to drag everyone else down with her, and, with the help of my fiance, his family and our Priest I have put my foot down to my Mom's controlling ways. The Priest told me straight up that I had to either choose my fiance or my Mom or our marriage would struggle. That was a easy answer, but something I still struggle with b/c I would like my parents to be a part of our lives, but its their choice if they aren't. They will be the ones missing out sorely. Sorry to go off on a tangent...I am totally feel for you girl

kristi0412

We are pretty much paying for everything... My mom gave us $500 right after we got engaged, which bought my dress and all the accessories (Yea mom!).  We have an inclusive package for 100 guests and we might go over that... she said she will help pay for the extra charge ($30 per person), but we aren't going to let her. His mom hasn't even asked how the wedding is going, so yeah.. nothing from her! But after reading all the fights about FMIL (and their money related rants), I am super glad she isn't helping.. I don't want her advice.  My dad hasn't offered, so I'm not asking. We are adults and this is our party, we should be able to pay for it. Anything we receieve from anyone else is just an unexpected bonus!

Squeaker2002

My FI and I are paying for our wedding...  We have 17 months until our big day so we're able to space our major purchases out and pay for them without breaking the bank or taking out any loans. I'm into all the DIY and budget shopping so I'm finding lots of bargains...

jaeboxa

We are paying for ours ourselves. My parents have given us early gifts or half of our gift to help with the cost of the wedding, but the majority of the costs fall on us.

t.kaufman

My parents are giving us a set amount of money, which will end up being about 40% of our budget [if we stay within budget!!]. We are paying for the other 60%. His parents are paying for the RD and our honeymoon! woohoo!

alisonz

My dad and stepmom offered to pay for the wedding but as soon as we all realized how much it costs to have a wedding in New York City, they just gave us a lump sum that they thought was reasonable.

In the end, they will have paid about 60% and FI and I are paying the rest.

lharri12

When my sister got married about 5 years ago, my dad gave her $10,000 to spend on the wedding however she liked. When I got engaged, he adjusted for inflation and gave me a check for roughly $11,800. He's an accountant  I expect this to pay for roughly half of our total wedding expenses. My FMIL might contribute a smaller amount, but my FI and I expect to pay for the rest ourselves.

Collinsmommy and seans so

My mom and dad gave us a set amount and that will cover the wedding. His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and the alcohol for the reception (as long as it's within reason) and we are handling anything that goes over, our HM and the rings. 

KatelynS07

As of right now, we are paying for the whole thing. His parents are choosing to not really recognize our wedding date and think we are going to postpone it (even though we have nailed down a venue and photographer and are starting invitations). I do not expect any help from my family other than help DIY projects, as in their eyes, because we are living together, that is our way of saying we are financially independent. I would much rather not have any financial help from his family. His mom is controlling and manipulative enough without having a financial say in the wedding. So overall, this is the way we would like to keep it.

Lindze75

My parents had a set amount set aside for both my sis and I.  My sis got married in 2006 and for her wedding the $ paid for 50% of the wedding.

A few years later the $ doesn't stretch as far so we are paying about 60% and my parent's are paying 40%.  We have been creative and are getting some services free from family.  We also have a larger guest list than my sis so that ups the cost a lot.

FI's family may or may not pay for the RD.  His mom says they will but by they she means his dad (they are divorced) and his dad hasn't seemed to want to commit to it.  We don't have money budgeted for the RD so I don't know what we're going to do if they don't pay for it...charge it or downscale it big time to a potluck or something....

That doesn't include rings or the Honeymoon both of which we are paying for ourselves.  We are so fortunate to have the help that we do from my parents but when I think about how much money is going into this (both thiers and ours) I get a little lightheaded thinking about how we could get FI a new truck or remodel the kitchen and landscape the front yard like we want to....*sigh*