This makes me ragey.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:bc14f5ce-fecf-4c07-a459-823376d2d1ed">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it boils down to parents wanting to be more like friends than parents.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

Agreed, but I'd extend it to teachers, principals, etc. You are not here to be bffs with the kids. You are here to instruct them, guide them, and help them to grow into respectful members of the community. If that means sometimes they think you're mean, oh well.

Bec20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:7bee0a4b-1d4f-4bd2-a352-2e38bb36bb15">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. :   I think parenting in general has just gone soft.  People stopped spanking their kids and it just slid downhill from there.  Now don't get me wrong - I don't advocate for beating the hell out of your kids when they do something wrong, but sometimes just telling them in a calm voice isn't going to cut it.  If my kid sasses me, he's getting a swift swat on the behind. Parents think that just because they don't want to discipline their kids, no one else should either.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>I think that the real issue is that parents want to be friends with their children.  I was spanked maybe twice in my life, but my mother worked very hard to make sure my sister and I knew who was boss and that rules were rules.  If we were given something for dinner, we ate it.  If we did something wrong or if we lied, we were punished.  We weren't allowed to win at games all the time and they would make sure that we lost on a regular basis.  Even though I wasn't spanked, I knew that my parents (or teachers) were in charge and that I had to do as I was told.</div><div>
</div><div>The key was that she never let me be in control of the situation and didn't coddle me, and that is the main difference I noticed between her and many of the parents who brought their kids to her daycare.  She let me cry/scream for 45 minutes straight the night she took away my pacifier, locked in my room thanks to a baby gate.  One of the parents we had wanted us to hold her child for the duration of the kid's hour long nap, even though we had five other children to take care of.  Four of the nine families wouldn't make their kids eat what they were given for meals and would either give them junky suppers (Kraft Dinner, fries, etc) or let them eat dessert after not eating their meals.  One kid especially didn't know how to lose and I had to explain to him that, as a matter of fact, forfeiting because he was down in the game meant that he lost.  Thankfully, in contrast to these there were a couple families in particular where the children were being raised almost exactly the way I was and were extremely well behaved.</div>

junieolive

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:bc14f5ce-fecf-4c07-a459-823376d2d1ed">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it boils down to parents wanting to be more like friends than parents.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

^ I completely agree.  My mom loves me but I was told repeatedly as a child that she was my mother, not my friend because friends will lie for you and let you do things that were not in your best interests.  My mother said that she was in charge of making me a good person.  My parents and I are now friends but let me tell you they will still let me know when I am doing something they think is a bad idea.  I have students whose parents buy them alcohol and let them do whatever they want at any hour of the night.  I will never NOT believe that many parents these days should have never had children.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:a33753b4-b039-4655-b346-b50203047c50">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]slight tangent I have mixed feelings about retention.  On one hand, if you can't demonstrate that you can do the skills required to move on, then by all means, repeat.  On the other hand, I've had kids in 6th grade who were pushing 14 (partly because their birthdays were early so they were already the oldest in the class) and it was NOT good for almost 14 year old boys to be mixed in with 11 year old girls.   If there can be a totally separate class for repeaters, then fine.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

<div>Huh, I'd never thought about it that way.  Do most school districts have "alternative schools"?  I know we have an alternative HS for kids who just can't cut it in the regular public schools.  </div>

Bec20

I remember being marked with a 4-point system back to at least Grade 3.  I think it works well if it is used properly, because each number responds to a letter grade (4 = A, 3 = B, etc).   I will say that we still had 0s for incompletes and that a 3 was considered where you were supposed to be for your grade level (consistent whether it was a B, level 3, or a 70-79%).

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:3d4f4dbb-5bad-4e91-a03c-c6d1d48d2a0f">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : ^ I completely agree.  My mom loves me but I was told repeatedly as a child that she was my mother, not my friend because friends will lie for you and let you do things that were not in your best interests.  My mother said that she was in charge of making me a good person.  My parents and I are now friends but let me tell you they will still let me know when I am doing something they think is a bad idea.  <strong>I have students whose parents buy them alcohol and let them do whatever they want at any hour of the night</strong>.  I will never NOT believe that many parents these days should have never had children.
Posted by junieolive[/QUOTE]

This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:11687c8c-3a93-4c42-a4c5-5b4d90e90f85">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : Huh, I'd never thought about it that way.  Do most school districts have "alternative schools"?  I know we have an alternative HS for kids who just can't cut it in the regular public schools.  
Posted by dumdumfroggie[/QUOTE]

Not sure if there are alternative schools everywhere or if they are for retention or not. Our alternatives are for kids who are on the verge of JDC or are coming back in from JDC.

As far as retention goes, we do have recovery courses.  If you were a 7th grader who failed 6th grade science, you would get 2 science classes - a 6th grade recovery class and your regular 7th grade class.  You would lose one of your electives to make time for the recovery.

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:7bee0a4b-1d4f-4bd2-a352-2e38bb36bb15">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. :   I think parenting in general has just gone soft.  People stopped spanking their kids and it just slid downhill from there.  Now don't get me wrong - I don't advocate for beating the hell out of your kids when they do something wrong, but sometimes just telling them in a calm voice isn't going to cut it.  If my kid sasses me, he's getting a swift swat on the behind. Parents think that just because they don't want to discipline their kids, no one else should either.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Last night, Mr. Moose and I were sitting on the front step enjoying the sun and there was a woman with her kid in the park across the street.  When it was time to go home, the kid (about 2) threw a tantrum.  His Mom just kept saying, "this is not acceptable behaviour." 

Really?  He's 2.  He's probably not at the point of understanding that there sentence. 

And my favorite line?  "Don't act like your sister."

Right.  So this parenting clearly failed once.  Good on you for trying it again?

Mrs.B6302007

@Katie


OMG.

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:868f054c-aaa8-40f3-badc-6231b0e33737">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
What the hell?  Howwwww does anyone think this is appropriate parenting?!  It's not even legal!

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:6a0e050e-1ce8-4d3b-8e66-c9f4b590d689">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : Agreed, but I'd extend it to teachers, principals, etc. You are not here to be bffs with the kids. You are here to instruct them, guide them, and help them to grow into respectful members of the community. If that means sometimes they think you're mean, oh well.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Totally agree with your extension. Really any adult authority figure for children needs to realize that they are not friends to their students, etc. The child may not enjoy the lesson they are taught by said authority figure as a child but I know when they think back on that moment as an adult, they will understand.

Only example that's coming to my mind is about how my parents never let me or my brother win at anything. We had to earn it. My grandparents always let us win at everything and we could tell even at a young age. I'm really glad my parents taught me to earn things for myself, even through games.

Bec20

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:868f054c-aaa8-40f3-badc-6231b0e33737">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>That is insane!  The drinking age is 19 here but even for students or dates who were over 19, they weren't allowed to drink while at prom.</div><div>
</div><div>Some parents certainly bought alcohol for the students after prom, as did friends and dates who were over 19.</div>

wadingmoose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:868f054c-aaa8-40f3-badc-6231b0e33737">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

Uh.  Wow.

And hi.

LDYGTR13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:868f054c-aaa8-40f3-badc-6231b0e33737">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
HOLY EFFING SH*T. WTF.

junieolive

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:868f054c-aaa8-40f3-badc-6231b0e33737">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : This is huge in my school district. The parents were pissed that the high school prom wouldn't allow the seniors to bring alcohol, so they threw an alternate prom where they provided alcohol, no dress code (school said no underwear showing, that was it) and no dance limitations (school said no grinding or lewd behavior). Good job parents. :-/
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Wow that is crazy!!!! I hope that they got reported to the police... probably not.  It doesn't surprise me though.   The alcohol, the trashy clothes, letting your kid's significant other sleep over IN THEIR ROOM!!!  I am glad that I am not having kids, I would be afraid to let them be friends with the other kids.

midgetthemighty

Katie, that is completely backwards from when I was in school. The parental chaperones at dances fought tooth and nail to stop inappropriate dancing and drinking. Not condone illegal behavior.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:eef4d3ad-1825-4968-a08c-1acd882d548e">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : Last night, Mr. Moose and I were sitting on the front step enjoying the sun and there was a woman with her kid in the park across the street.  When it was time to go home, the kid (about 2) threw a tantrum.  His Mom just kept saying, "this is not acceptable behaviour."  Really?  He's 2.  He's probably not at the point of understanding that there sentence.  And my favorite line? <strong> "Don't act like your sister." Right.  So this parenting clearly failed once.  Good on you for trying it again?</strong>
Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

Ugh fucking yes. Preach.

katiewhompus

Oh the parents were morons. They went to the local news screaming of how the school was taking away their child's right to wear clothing (yeah....ok) and several cops just happened to park outside the alterate prom location.

Hi Moosey!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

FFS, KW.  God forbid there be a dress code at a high school prom.  Because school dress codes are so oppressive and there is no dress code in the real world.

Fucking hell.

eta - and pretty sure most people should know by now how I feel about parent-sanctioned teen rager parties.  Shite people are fucking stupid STOOPID.

mkrupar

We were in a restaurant a few weeks back and a family had a child that would not behave. The father removed him from the restaurant and sat in the car with him until the family finished their meal. Does it suck that dad missed dinner because his child was misbehaving? Kind of. But that's the kind of thing you have to do when you're a parent. My parents would remove us from places too if we were unruly. Usually we were allowed to return when we could act right again.

ETA: This is a P&R. It's lunchtime.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:9403ac94-78c5-4e2f-9e69-c02d40eb27cb">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]My old school district kind of did things like this, and I hated it.  Basically no matter what you earned the first 2 marking periods, the lowest you could get on the report card was a 50.  The last 2 marking periods were fair game though.  So basically kids could skip everyday for the first half of the year and essentially still pass the class. I absolutely hate No Child Left Behind.  Some kids just don't deserve to pass if they aren't going to put in the effort and try.  I am all for helping out kids who are working hard but struggling.  But all NCLB does is promote laziness and coddling kids.  A kid who passes ONLY because of NCLB is not really any more likely to become a functioning, contributing member of society.  Because bottom of the barrell grades don't get you into college, and a high school diploma doesn't mean shiiit now.  
Posted by Beachy730[/QUOTE]

huh, I learned something new. I just graduated from High school and had heard about the NCLB, but to me it was more about helping the special education students get the help they need so they could also learn and were allowed to stay in school till they were 21. But I guess there were also a few classes I had always saw but thought to much of and all the students would just sit and sleep the whole time or be listening to music.

It always pissed me off! But i am happy that I worked hard to get through high school.

Another part of school that pissed me off was when most of my classes would be language, math, or science classes so I worked hard for my GPA, but other students took what they needed to graduate and the rest of the classes were art so they had an easy time getting a good GPA so they would be in the top percent of the class and I wasnt. But im sure if you looked at our state testing my scores are better!

[Deleted User]

I should be amazed by the stupidity of some people, but sadly, I'm not.

KW, did anyone get arrested or anything at the "alternate" prom?

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:9964e817-b9d0-4785-b451-4f77208cc25c">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]We were in a restaurant a few weeks back and a family had a child that would not behave. The father removed him from the restaurant and sat in the car with him until the family finished their meal. Does it suck that dad missed dinner because his child was misbehaving? Kind of. But that's the kind of thing you have to do when you're a parent. My parents would remove us from places too if we were unruly. Usually we were allowed to return when we could act right again. ETA: This is a P&R. It's lunchtime.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

Yup.  Heck, I've left right after dinner at my ILs because BB was getting "too rowdy" and trying to touch things that she shouldn't be touching.  "Too rowdy" of course, is perspective.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:9964e817-b9d0-4785-b451-4f77208cc25c">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]We were in a restaurant a few weeks back and a family had a child that would not behave. The father removed him from the restaurant and sat in the car with him until the family finished their meal. Does it suck that dad missed dinner because his child was misbehaving? Kind of. But that's the kind of thing you have to do when you're a parent. My parents would remove us from places too if we were unruly. Usually we were allowed to return when we could act right again. ETA: This is a P&R. It's lunchtime.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

This was us last weekend. Sil took us to a super fancy restaurant and I felt awkward just walking in with DD. She wanted nothing to do with the high chair so H took her outside real quick while I ate then we switched. She wasn't misbehaving, just acting like an infant but yeah, not the time or place.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:193664ea-b6e5-4edd-b73c-5fc013b71d54">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]I should be amazed by the stupidity of some people, but sadly, I'm not. KW, did anyone get arrested or anything at the "alternate" prom?
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I didn't hear of any so I'm guessing the cops schooled the parents on the difference between "cool" and "illegal"

junieolive

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:55675e92-09d1-4804-9b1f-b021c9ec817a">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : huh, I learned something new. I just graduated from High school and had heard about the <strong>NCLB, but to me it was more about helping the special education students get the help they need so they could also learn and were allowed to stay in school till they were 21.</strong>
Posted by MrsL2014[/QUOTE]

NCLB  actually, is the worst thing for certain special ed students.They are being held to the same standards as regular ed students.  This is ok for students with mild learning disabilities, but it also holds students with severe disabilities to the same standard.  Last year I was a relief proctor for the 11th grade Social Studies Regents.  I went into the special ed room that had the life skills students.(These are students who have very low abilities, need a job coach, close to, or below  the MR cutoff.)  I assumed they were taking a different exam... Nope they were taking the Regents exam.  They are required to sit for it.  I am pretty sure that in a few years they will be required to pass it.  A few of the kids were crying because they didn't understand and were sooo frustrated.  Their teachers said"Just write something down, it doesn't matter what you write."  Who the fuuck does that to kids? These are kids who need to learn how to grocery shop and take the bus without getting lost. And their teachers will be considered ineffective if they do not pass the tests...

mkrupar

I do have to go back to LDYs question about what's happened to parents. I mean I think all of us posting here are within the same one or two generations, and we all have similar HS/parenting stories, so something happened after our parents generation was raised, to make the ones behind them parent the way they do. Is it because the parents now grew up in the 80's, a relatively stable, lucrative time for most people? Were they used to getting the things they want so they think their children should as well?

[Deleted User]

I agree with junie. My mom taught ESE classes for years and it only hurt her students. Kids who never should have passed were being moved up a grade and couldn't follow the lesson plans because they weren't ready for them. It resulted in a lot of them dropping out of HS altogether.

LDYGTR13

That might be it, Krups. Everyone always wants their kids to have it better than they had it. But I don't understand what was so long with being responsible for your actions.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-makes-me-ragey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7590b6f1-292b-49fd-8e29-225f187755ecPost:b8512ee8-04dc-4a8d-8304-f63d11319c7c">Re: This makes me ragey.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: This makes me ragey. : I didn't hear of any so I'm guessing the cops schooled the parents on the difference between "cool" and "illegal"
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Great, so now the police force is contributing to Idiocracy? Ugh.

Also I agree with you that a fancy restaurant is never the time or place for an infant.