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Etiquette

Separated but not divorced - Ms. or Mrs.?

Need to know for invitation purposes.  I feel like it would be Mrs. because technically they're still married, but the intention is generally there to get divorced.  So...Ms. or Mrs.?  Does it stay Mrs. until the divorce is final?

TIA!

Re: Separated but not divorced - Ms. or Mrs.?

  • It tends to be person dependent.  I'd say the default title would be Ms., although some women hang on to the Mrs. title.  If you go with Mrs., it should be Mrs. [FirstName][LastName], since as a divorced woman, she should not use her ex-husband's first name.
  • I would do Ms. but I don't think that it  technically correct.  Its probably what she would prefer though. 
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  • I would ask her what she would prefer.  That is the easiest solution. 
    Anniversary
  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited April 2011
    I don't know what is proper but for me it depends on the person's feelings about it.

    I would have hated to be addressed as Mrs. while I was separated. (I was separated for several years before divorcing.
  • edited April 2011
    Thanks!  I had a feeling it might depend on the person, and the issue I'm having is that her maiden name and married name are the same (she and her husband both have the same last name), so she won't be keeping or leaving behind her married name, she'd just be going from a Mrs. to a Ms. (possibly).  She's FIs aunt, so I'll have him find out which she'd prefer.

    Edited for spelling.
  • Yeah. Most mail I got addressed to Mrs. exlast name went in the garbage during our year and a day required separation. 
    I immediately wanted to be addressed as Ms. maiden name, and had taking my maiden name put in the divorce papers. 
    The only ones I excused from calling me Mrs. exlast were my first class of students - that's all they knew me as.  
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    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • I agree that asking is best, but if you can't for some reason, I'd go with Ms. since that's correct for any woman of any marital status.
  • Ordinarily I'd never suggest this, but because her maiden and married name is the same, why not just drop the title and address it to First Lastname?  

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