Do you like bouquet tosses?

doctabroccoli

We did both.  But we also had a fair number of people for both of them.  I just did a regular toss, no big production, one of my friends caught it.  My husband, however, put together something with my brother (who works for the guy who was our DJ) where he had to slay a dragon (there was a sword and shield involved) to get to my garter.  Yeah, I'm married to a nerd.  After one accidental misfire, the garter landed in front of two of our groomsmen.  One of them slyly slid it over to the other with his shoe.  It was actually pretty funny.  We didn't do the whole put the garter on the bouquet catcher thing.  That's just a whole lotta awkward.

DNAtime

I hate them, I am with Anna, I avoid them and they make me really uncomfortable. I refuse to toss a bouquet, I think my FMIL is bummed about it but I don't care.

I avoided them and sat them all out when I was single. I was so pissed at my FBIL's wedding.  My FILs flew me up to Alaska and I stayed in their rental, even in my FI's room (with their approval) and did a 2 week vaca with them and they STILL thought I counted as "single" because I wasn't engaged to FI at the time, but we were living together, and made me go do the bouquet toss.  I took one giant step back and my FSIL (not the one getting married) laughed at me. 

akhensley81

I don't mind them. We did both the bouquet and garter. Our DJ pulled the old blindfold-the-guy-who-caught-the-garter trick... and while he thought he was putting my garter on my sister's leg, he was really putting it on his twin brother's. It turned out to be hilarious, and we got some funny photos too.

klbrengle

I think bouquet tosses are silly and garter tosses are gross.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

For the purposes of the bouquet toss, I've always thought that count anyone who isn't married, regardless of dating or being engaged. Which is why I still hid (at my table) at my friend's wedding which was 6 weeks before mine.

Ramoresax

I know if we don't do it at my wedding my nieces will forever hate me.  I also know that I'm not at all comfortable with my 25 year old bachelor friend putting a garter on my 13 year old niece. So, we're compromising and doing the bouquet without the garter toss.  Also, I've no desire to be "disrobed" in front of my friends and family to some strip tease song.  /2cents

missy68

I DID try to steal J&K's bouquet - does that count?

She had peonies.


No - dislike to both.

Moneypenny424

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_like-bouquet-tosses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d74057e-63c2-4b0a-bd17-4e0ba487fcd9Post:80f0c04a-43ab-4b20-aa45-834ff530cdf3">Re: Do you like bouquet tosses?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do you like bouquet tosses? : This! We didn't do them at our wedding either.    We have very few single friends left and I would have felt bad calling the 3 single ladies out to the dance floor.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

This exactly.  It was kind of cute when we were younger, but no way was I going to call my single friends to the dance floor and make them feel awkward.  I have a good number of single friends, but I wasn't going to make a bunch of ladies in their late 20s/30s be involved in that.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_like-bouquet-tosses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d74057e-63c2-4b0a-bd17-4e0ba487fcd9Post:5a451a96-7c92-4b2d-b97b-c7a7055104fd">Re: Do you like bouquet tosses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am really weird about them because I have been to a few weddings where <strong>no one wanted to catch the bouquet so I did so because I didn't want it to hit the floor</strong>. I certainly would not miss one if it is not at a wedding. I told the florist I didn't need a toss bouquet and she told me I was very mature for my age.
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

This is what happened at FI's friend's wedding.  There was only 4 girls for the toss and it literally fell at my feet, so I picked it up.  Same thing with FI and the garter toss, there was like 5 guys and they all moved away from it, so FI picked it up off the floor.  It's lame and awkward and I always hated being 'showcased' as being single.  I skipped them if I could help it. 

I won't be putting my family and friends through that...although my mom looked at me like I was crazy when I said we were skipping it.

Karen's MOH

I'm a special snowflake-- I think there is a limited place for them, but once you get to your late 20s, it's not cool any more. I think younger couples, like early 20s to 25 max, probably have a lot of single friends, and they are young enough that even if they are into trying to catch it, they aren't afraid of looking 'desparate' to get married or something. Or if you have kids and teenagers at the wedding.

But at ours, we would have had a handful of single ladies come out and none of them would have been amused at all. 

Also, garter tosses are creepy. 

jilld82

I don't mind them but I used to get annoyed when I was single and my friends would try to force me out. We are doing one but instead of having one bouquet that I throw it will break into a bunch of flowers. We have a lot of kids going to the wedding and this way they will all get an artificial flower and nobody will be upset. I think we are tying a little note on each flower that says "no superstitions, God has a plan".

Birdie1483

I think I'm one of the few that likes them. But ever since my friends started getting married I've had a serious boyfriend, so I didn't really care to go out there.

I'm not sure if we'll do a bouquet toss. I'm sure my mom will try to say our marraige won't be valid without it, like she's trying with a bunch of other "traditions" but I don't really have many single friends anymore and I don't want to make the two single girls there go out on the dance floor by themselves.

I'm pretty sure we're NOT doing the garter... but who knows.

annakb8

I get where people are coming from with the age thing, but I'm only 25 and I've never liked them. I think the weddings where I felt most uncomfortable about it was when I was around 22. I guess I just wasn't into the whole "I won't be fulfilled in life until I'm married!" vibes that bouquet tosses can have, plus the prospect of having the guy who caught the garter put it on me makes me nauseous (I know a lot of people don't do this, but you usually don't know that before the toss actually happens). I just hate being the center of attention in general though, so there's that.

[Deleted User]

I like to watch, but I always refused to participate, mainly because I didn't want to be the one who caught it then have to deal with the guy who caught the garter. We did the tosses at our wedding because for some reason it was really important to my mom. But we just opened the tosses up to everyone, single or not, and gave a gift card to whoever caught them. And I do have some hilarious pictures from the tosses, so I guess it was worth it.

~Tuck~

We did not do a garter or a bouquet toss.  My husband and I are in our 30s.  Several of our friends are already married.  There were 2 single women at the wedding and maybe 4 single guys (not counting the kids).  There was no way I was going to humiliate my single friends like that.  Several of them thanked us for not doing the tosses.

The other thing that made me not want to do the bouquet toss was a wedding I went to 2 years ago.  My 32 year old friend caught the bouquet, and the 9 year old boy caught the garter.  And then they did the whole put the garter on the leg thing, and she was so embarrassed and mortified.

I think that if you are young and have a ton of single friends, it could be a fun thing.  It's not so fun when you are older.

cac7777

I liked them when I was 10 and wasn't expected to have a boyfriend or husband. When my friends actually started getting married, though, I was definitely over the whole thing--it made me feel like I was being labelled as a "poor single girl" instead of as someone who genuinely had better things to do with her early twenties than get married. This probably makes me a horrible person, but now that I'm engaged, I confess that I get a measure of enjoyment from watching other girls hustle to catch it. 

I think the should I/shouldn't I decision largely depends on your crowd. 

ETA: I had NO idea about garter tosses being that creepy! I've never seen a wedding where the guy who catches it has to put it on the girl who caught the bouquet... good to know. 

ahhhitsshannyn

I did not like them before I was married because I never wanted to participate. I have only been to a couple weddings and both times I was with my now H so I never considered myself single, married or not. But every time I saw one, there were a bunch of girls who wanted to join in, so more power to them.

We did one at our wedding just cause I thought it would be fun for anyone who wanted to participate. We also did the garter toss. I had no idea the person who caught the garter is supposed to put it on the one who caught the bouquet, that is just creepy.

Funnily enough our friends who caught them are already a couple so I guess they are next

emyinpink

I think they're awkward, and hate doing them at weddings. Especially when the bride yells out at her single friends by name to call them up there, ugggggh.

I'm doing a brooch bouquet, and won't be doing a bouquet toss.

niquemel

If you have lots of single friends in their their teens and very early 20s, then fine. If not, JUST DON'T DO IT.
It's humiliating to be the one single friend over 25 (or over 12!) to be forced to get up so the bride can toss a bouquet. It's just in poor taste.
If you insist on doing it, please do no insist that any friends get up if they don't want to.

DNAtime

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_like-bouquet-tosses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d74057e-63c2-4b0a-bd17-4e0ba487fcd9Post:dd225f1c-c056-402e-9ca2-a2105dbb31cf">Re: Do you like bouquet tosses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I get where people are coming from with the age thing, but I'm only 25 and I've never liked them. I think the weddings where I felt most uncomfortable about it was when I was around 22. I guess I just wasn't into the whole "I won't be fulfilled in life until I'm married!" vibes that bouquet tosses can have, plus the prospect of having the guy who caught the garter put it on me makes me nauseous (I know a lot of people don't do this, but you usually don't know that before the toss actually happens). I just hate being the center of attention in general though, so there's that.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Eye to eye. I totally agree with this.

We went to a weddding a bit ago after getting engaged, my FI said something about use not actually being married so technically I still was counting as single for the
purposes of the bouquet toss. 

I told FI is you really think I am single then I will be taking off my E-ring and bar hopping with the girls, and probably not coming home until Monday.  He quickly agreed that I was indeed NOT single since we were together in a long term commited relationship.

leia1979

I don't care for them. I didn't like standing up there (at one wedding they started calling people out by name) and half the time the bouquet hits the floor because no one wants it.

I am not having one because there will only be about three single women. I think FI wanted one (because it's "tradition") until I pointed that out.

If someone wants to do it and their friends are into it, then go for it. It's a total dud with my friends.

xyrius

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_like-bouquet-tosses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:7d74057e-63c2-4b0a-bd17-4e0ba487fcd9Post:6634aa8c-fcc5-4e72-a938-3525a374f377">Re: Do you like bouquet tosses?</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't even think about the raunchy follow-up - I don't think I've ever seen that in person. I don't care about the symbolism and don't even really mind the singling out of the single women, I just feel like usually the party's going great, and then we have to stop the music and the dancing and all the fun to have this awkward bouquet/garter time, and then the music restarts and we're told to get back to the party and the dancing as if that little interlude had never happened
Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

I agree about the interlude.

I answered yes, because I think they're fun and I've caught the bouquet twice.  Every wedding I've attended it was always voluntary to stand up, and if I had a DJ or MC or whatever forcing ppl to stand up that would change my opinion.  That said, I won't be having one because of the reason EiC mentioned above - and FI does not feel comfortable doing the garter thing. 

tenofcups4me

I've never like them. Even though it's not my thing, they didn't super-bug me when I was younger; I just wasn't a fan. But like so many have already said, when you hit late 20s/early 30s and beyond, it starts to verge on cruel: Ha, all you women who haven't been able to snag a man, come on up here and stand in the spotlight. No thanks.

WildRumpus

We're not doing one, more because I didn't want to do a garter toss, and it seemed weird to do one but not the other. If my grandparents were able to attend, we would have done an anniversary dance, because it would have worked out that my grandma would have gotten my bouquet.

jsleik

As a late-30's bride, there is NO WAY I'm putting my 4 single friends through that.  And the garder thing has been ewwwwy at best and horrific at worst since I was a kid.  No one wants to see my fiance climbing up my dress, much less my grandma!  I think if you don't make a big deal out of skipping it, not one will notice - and, yes, the party keeps going!

lizziec08

Thank you for posting this thread!  I never thought about how much I don't like bouquet tosses.  I always hate going up to stand in the group of girls and I know my friends do too.  This is seriously making me consider not having the tosses.

I have NEVER heard of the guy who caught the garter putting it on the girl who caught the bouquet.  That is crazy!!  At all of the weddings I have been too, they take a picture together or dance together afterwards.  

Beachy730

Holy crap, am I the only one who likes them?  We were one of the first to get married of all of our friends, so we had tons of single friends.  But most of them were in long-term relationships, so it's fun for everyone to see who catches it.  Honestly I probably had at least 25-30 ladies on the dance floor for mine, including my widowed great-grandmother who went out there!

As for the garter toss, all the guys basically step to the side so that the boyfriend of whoever caught the bouquet ends up with it.  H and I ended up with both of them at my friends wedding a couple years ago, and one of my best friends and his GF caught them at our wedding. 

So I guess I'm in the minority here.

RamonaFlowers

I hate them. I just think they are so lame, and the only purpose they seem to serve is making most of the single/non-married guests feel uncomfortable.

firsttimersluck

We're doing a different (actually more traditional) game with the garter, but as far as the bouquet goes... eh.
We're actually going to give it to his parents after the mother-son dance as a token that we will be as happily in love and with the strong marriage that they after, after all those years.

ggirl2001

I think it depends on your crowd. I don't really like them and I am not doing them. But I will literally have one single girlfriend at the wedding so that helped cement my decisions.