Wedding Etiquette Forum

Yet another hitch..

Our wedding is in 11 days. We have had a lot of curveballs thrown at us in the past 9 months, including changing the wedding date due to a missing anullment, having to find new ceremony venue, my fiance's parents choosing not to travel to NJ from oklahoma (yet they drove from OK to chicago this weekend)....yes, good times.

But i keep trying to put that all behind me and just look forward to this day!

Well now my cousin's irked my family and i really need to find someway for it not to let this affect my day. My cousin has 4 kids - and i made it clear from day one back in July 2009 that it was an adults only ceremony and reception. I've waited a long time for this day, and we both agreed that is what we wanted. I gave her options, and hooked her up with a HS teacher friend of the family that would sit with them at the hotel while she and her husband went to the reception (in the hotel). Well i come to find out from the potential babysitter that this is not good enough, because she wants to bring them to the church. And when i emailed her to tell her that this sitter is great, and that we have told everyone else no kids at the ceremony; she sends back a snarky email 2 weeks later telling me that she feels it is in her family's best interest if she skips my wedding. Well we are upset and hurt because we've traveled from NJ to ME for her and her 2 brotehrs weddings, and a christening..and that doesnt seem to matter to her.

So now my mom does not want my aunt at her table unless she hears from her sister before next wednesday. My mom tells me today to do what i want - but doesnt really mean it.

If i do not put them with my mom and her other siblings, i fear it will set a tone for the reception...but we also dont want them to think we're ok with what she did.

yes, i know this all sounds petty given it's my wedding...but we're at the point where we've had enough. Just because she has 4 kids and married a doctor doesnt mean she gets to disregard her family's feelings!

Re: Yet another hitch..

  • I'm confused.  What does your aunt have to do with what your cousin did?

    FYI, one of the risks you take when you have a no kids wedding is that people will choose not to attend if they can't bring their kids.  They have every right to make that decision, and it doesn't mean she's disregarding your feelings.
    Married 10/2/10
  • I'm 11 days too, and I've surrendered myself that at this point... whatever happens, happens. There's nothing I can do about it now. We had a cousin get biitchy about our No Kids rule too, and we just said "we're very sorry you can't make it" and left it at that.

    Just take a deeeep breath. Tell your mom to deal with her own sister. None of this will matter in 12 days, anyway. :)
  • If she chooses not to come she is the one being childish and deserves to stay home with her kids.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    Fourth Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited August 2010
    I can understand doing an adults only reception, but honestly whats the big deal if the kids come to the ceremony?  I'm sure they trust their kids to sit through a ceremony just fine.  I had 6 kids under the age of 5 at my wedding, and you never even would have known they were there. 
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards