Am I too stingy with the thank you notes?

fabkc

A gift comes from Uncle Arnold, Aunt Beatrice, Cousin Caleb and girlfriend, and Cousin Doug and girlfriend.  Caleb and Doug were each sent separate invites (with guests) at separate addresses and are in their early 20s.  My first instinct was to send a thank you to all c/o the home of the Aunt and Uncle, but I am now second guessing. If it makes a difference, I would bet that Caleb and Doug (like most 20yo men) had no more input on the gift choice than they will on the dress Aunt chooses to wear to the wedding. But on the other hand, I could probably write a separate thank you in less time than it took to write this post. What does Etiquette say?

Sunshine9463

Well, I don't know the definitive answer, but, if it was me, I would send thank yous just like I sent invitations. Adult children in their parents houses, for example= separate invitation and separate thank you note.  Adult children with girlfriends in separate houses? Definitely separate thank yous.

It is really not for you to presume who picked out/ paid for/ wrapped/ brought the present. Thank the people, individually, who are given credit for the gift, regardless of your hunches.

Theresa626

Write one thank you note for each address.  (so three total)  WHy do you care if they picked it out or not?  If they contributed money then they should get a thank you.  

brookelynpaisley

Yes, you're being stingy. Thank each household, just as you would have sent the invitations. You can't assume aunt so-and-so if going to show them all the thank you.

Sunshine9463

Aaand the two PPs said what I wanted to, without being obnoxiously wordy.

Brava ladies!

notquiteblushing

Yup, one for each address.