Univited plus one on rsvp

DelBride2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_univited-plus-one-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:84958f14-db95-479f-a5ea-a65de3b95158Post:b614e863-70ee-43b2-96b7-c0ea767e7d82">Re:Univited plus one on rsvp</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Univited plus one on rsvp : Miss Manners: <a href="http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/feb/16/follow-protocol-when-inviting-guest-of-guest/" rel="nofollow">http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2009/feb/16/follow-protocol-when-inviting-guest-of-guest/</a> Partial quote from above: Miss Manners is all for inviting coupled wedding guests as couples – indeed, there is a new rudeness, which she is trying to stamp out, of inviting only half of an established couple. Those who are married, engaged or otherwise firmly attached must be asked in tandem to social events (as opposed to office gatherings, which are still office gatherings, no matter how many drinks are served). You. Are. Welcome.  :)
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]
In her book* she says married, engaged or "set up  housekeeping together," so "firmly attached" doesn't seem to mean "boyfriend and girlfriend." <div>
</div><div>But as someone else said, I've hijacked this thread into another direction. </div><div>
</div><div>*Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, page 604, available on google books. </div><span style="font-family:verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif;color:#000000;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><h1 style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:1.7em;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0px;margin-top:0px;" class="parseasinTitle ">
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bellabananas

The reasoning on here makes no sense. OP had no idea this person even existed, how on earth was she supposed to know to invite them? IMO, people you are close enough with to invite to your wedding should be close enough to share that they have a new significant other. The word significant is key here. Someone's wedding isn't just a social event to show off your new crush. If I was invited to someone's wedding without my FH I would take that as an indication that the couple only wanted me to attend. Only some of us have the luxury to extend a plus one to everyone, which is lovely for those of you that can. However, most people do not have the space or the budget in order to do this. People inviting other people to someone else's wedding is just plain rude. The person who invited a plus one can be kindly informed that currently there is not space for the plus one, but as negative RSVPs come in you may be able to extend an additional invitation.

bananas1309

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_univited-plus-one-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84958f14-db95-479f-a5ea-a65de3b95158Post:ccd0f0bc-18a2-4ab3-ab1e-e2ff5c8b3b36">Re: Univited plus one on rsvp</a>:
[QUOTE]The reasoning on here makes no sense. OP had no idea this person even existed, how on earth was she supposed to know to invite them? IMO, people you are close enough with to invite to your wedding should be close enough to share that they have a new significant other. The word significant is key here. Someone's wedding isn't just a social event to show off your new crush. If I was invited to someone's wedding without my FH I would take that as an indication that the couple only wanted me to attend. Only some of us have the luxury to extend a plus one to everyone, which is lovely for those of you that can. However, most people do not have the space or the budget in order to do this. People inviting other people to someone else's wedding is just plain rude. The person who invited a plus one can be kindly informed that currently there is not space for the plus one, but as negative RSVPs come in you may be able to extend an additional invitation.
Posted by bellabananas[/QUOTE]




Totally agree. =]. ...and love the username.

libby2483

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_univited-plus-one-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:84958f14-db95-479f-a5ea-a65de3b95158Post:ccd0f0bc-18a2-4ab3-ab1e-e2ff5c8b3b36">Re: Univited plus one on rsvp</a>:
[QUOTE]The reasoning on here makes no sense. OP had no idea this person even existed, how on earth was she supposed to know to invite them? IMO, people you are close enough with to invite to your wedding should be close enough to share that they have a new significant other. The word significant is key here. Someone's wedding isn't just a social event to show off your new crush. If I was invited to someone's wedding without my FH I would take that as an indication that the couple only wanted me to attend. Only some of us have the luxury to extend a plus one to everyone, which is lovely for those of you that can. However, most people do not have the space or the budget in order to do this. People inviting other people to someone else's wedding is just plain rude. The person who invited a plus one can be kindly informed that currently there is not space for the plus one, but as negative RSVPs come in you may be able to extend an additional invitation.
Posted by bellabananas[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This :)

</div>

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_univited-plus-one-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84958f14-db95-479f-a5ea-a65de3b95158Post:ccd0f0bc-18a2-4ab3-ab1e-e2ff5c8b3b36">Re: Univited plus one on rsvp</a>:
[QUOTE]The reasoning on here makes no sense. OP had no idea this person even existed, how on earth was she supposed to know to invite them?Posted by bellabananas[/QUOTE]

The correct thing, then is to invite them as soon as she's informed of this situation. 

RebeccaB88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_univited-plus-one-on-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:84958f14-db95-479f-a5ea-a65de3b95158Post:08581eff-d28e-4a37-afae-02e044e57961">Re:Univited plus one on rsvp</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Univited plus one on rsvp : In her book* she says married, engaged or "set up  housekeeping together," so "firmly attached" doesn't seem to mean "boyfriend and girlfriend."  But as someone else said, I've hijacked this thread into another direction.  *Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millenium, page 604, available on google books. 
Posted by DelBride2012[/QUOTE]

Why wouldn't it mean that?  Again, it's not YOUR judgement of the situation that matters, it's the COUPLE'S. 

Look, you're going to do whatever you damn well please, rude or not, so I'm not arguing anymore.  Some people say that a 'real friend' wouldn't care and support you anyway, but truthfully, a 'real friend' would probably be super pissed off that you think it's okay to treat them so terribly.  Do it your way and see how many people actually show up, and how many friends you have left after this.

banana468

I fear that the banana name is starting to split. : Sometimes you just don't know that your family or friends are in established relationships. That they didn't tell you is not reason to make a judgement about the seriousness. Once you find out that the relationship exists, it's rude to say that they may be serious to each other but they aren't serious enough for you.

bellabananas

If someone didn't want to my friend anymore because I didn't invite them to my wedding, oh wait, I am only inviting friends to the wedding! Problem solved!

hccpsu

I had a friend in college that was "serious" with every guy she went on a second date with.  And I'm sorry, but in that case, I WOULD be the person to determine whether or not the relationship was worthy of a plus one.