We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!

MomoftheBriade

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:d01aac59-b021-4a81-8263-f24573af63f5">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : No. You are correct that mentioning the registry in the wedding invites is rude which is why, again, you aren't likely to find anyone here who did that either. Whether something "works" and whether something is "rude" are two completely different concepts.   For example, hiring a bouncer to keep people from bringing in their significant others would WORK at keeping them out, but excluding them in any way (bouncer, failing to invite them, etc) is still RUDE.  Get the difference?  ETA:  Something that "works" accomplishes a goal; something that comports with etiquette accomplishes the same goal without offending people or looking like a huge thundercvnt.
Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

thunder. what? Are you calling me a name? Is this etiquette friendly? Hmm I think not. And what does that mena?

Beachy730

Following etiquette on some things doesn't outweigh breaking it on other ones.  Good for you for knowing that you don't put registry info on the invites, but you're just being obtuse right now.  "Oh well I'm suuuure you all broke this etiquette rule, but we aren't so it's ok that we are breaking these ones."  

You think it's fine in your area, then knock yourself out doing it.  Just because some people said they don't care doesn't mean that everyone invited won't care and won't be talking about you and your daughter behind your back.  I judge people for etiquette breaches with their weddings all the time, but it doesn't mean I say it to their face.  We just got a generic computer printed thank you card in the mail for a wedding that had no personalization whatsoever to it.  Yep, I judged.  But did I call them and tell them I think it was shitty?  Nope.

NOLAbridealmost

Thundercvnt, douchenozzle, jack@ss.....basically all phrases to describe someone who treats people badly and doesn't give a flip about it.  

And no, I did not call you a name.  I said that following etiquette allows people to avoid looking like a thundercvnt.  

ETA:  And furthermore, no, there's nothing rude about telling someone who asks on a public forum how to avoid looking like a thundercvnt.

Kate61487

It's news to me that cohabitation before the wedding was against etiquette.  Or was the point that your daughter's virtue means she and you get to be rude to your guests?  I'm not really sure how that comes into play....

I'd guess your GFs who told you it was okay are on the full guest list, not the midnight snack only guest list.  What you're doing is rude.  And the people on your guest list WILL judge you for it, even if they don't tell you to your face.

GloriosusEtLiber

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:39992d4d-02a4-4903-aee4-dfca005dbbbd">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : thunder. what? Are you calling me a name? Is this etiquette friendly? Hmm I think not. And what does that mena?
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]

<div>She didn't call you a name. She's saying (at least this is how I see it) that you are going to <em>appear</em> like a huge b*tch to these guests that you're being rude to. Not that you actually are a b*tch, just that this is how it will seem since you're not being very accommodating to guests. </div>

Beachy730

We printed the price per plate on our invites so guests knew how expensive their gifts should be to make up for it.  But it's totally ok guys, we didn't live together before the wedding so that makes up for it.  

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:81e1ff95-29ec-466e-9bdf-3fca83f5974d">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]Did any of you who find this rude mention where you were registered in your wedding invites? You are ONLY suppose to mention gift registry at a shower. Never the wedding invite. I am sure it worked for you. All I am saying is that this is working. I should have posted it on another board.
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
No, there was absolutely no mention of gifts on my wedding invitations. This has been discussed MANY times here and if you had lurked or looked at past posts you would see us tell many brides that it's not ok to include registry info.

MomoftheBriade

Oh my goodness, that was suppose to be a "u". You have quite the mouthful there. Wow, just who I want to get advice from someone who has a sewer mouth. I apologize for looking for intelligent conversation here. It is all just people with no morals or manners. Calling names especially that one. You should be ashamed!

TheBaney

I really just don't get why you would post on the etiquette board about how you are breaking numerous rules of etiquette and not expect to get called out on it. Actually, you obviously knew you would get called out on it, otherwise your title would be different.

1. It's rude to assume that anyone other than the couple are paying for the wedding. You don't get to resent the groom's family for not contributing.
2. It's rude to have a cash bar. If you want alcohol to be there, you have to pay for it. If you don't want to pay for it, don't have alcohol. Perhaps change the time of the wedding to a time when alcohol is not traditionally consumed, like a luncheon.
3. It's rude to invite people to the reception only, when the ceremony isn't restricted to only immediate family.
4. It's rude to invite people to a certain part of the reception only, because you want to see them that day, just without feeding them. Again, host the reception at a time when a sit down meal isn't required, if you don't want to pay for everyone to eat.

Your emphasis in your title makes me think that you were either being pre-petulant, or exulting in your rudeness. Either way, you are doing things very rudely, which isn't going to go over very well on the ETIQUETTE board. 

It's like going to an animal lovers' forum and talking about how you want to shoot a dog, fr'instance.

crash2729

She was not calling you the name, FFS.

Gabrielle76

You're 100% welcome to make things as tacky/rude as you like, it's a free country.  The ladies on this board have had some great ideas of how to avoid looking tacky/rude, but if it was your goal all along (as it appears is the case) no one can stop you. If you didn't want that sort of advice, maybe don't post it on a public forum?

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:c1b45529-08f2-4533-864b-65c096200fa4">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : I wanted to get it out there that this CAN work and chat with someone else who did it. Also, since you are offended by my situation (and u r right people on here don't care if they offend me) but my very honest GF's and family all liked this plan. D<strong>id you live with your groom or did anyone here who is offeneded? My DD will not till they are married, but co habitation seems to be ok now too.</strong> I wasn't looking for an argument I was looking for a productive discussion on this.
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
You do realize that cohabitation has nothing to do with etiquette, right? 

JoanE2012

It is not acceptable to ask your guests to pay for their drinks.  If you can't afford it, have a dry wedding.  The reception is your thank you to them.  Do you traditionally thank people by asking them to cough up money? 

With that said, I think you're a troll.

MomoftheBriade

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:cb0cb648-c54b-4386-bd93-479c9739fa3d">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]I really just don't get why you would post on the etiquette board about how you are breaking numerous rules of etiquette and not expect to get called out on it. Actually, you obviously knew you would get called out on it, otherwise your title would be different. 1. It's rude to assume that anyone other than the couple are paying for the wedding. You don't get to resent the groom's family for not contributing. 2. It's rude to have a cash bar. If you want alcohol to be there, you have to pay for it. If you don't want to pay for it, don't have alcohol. Perhaps change the time of the wedding to a time when alcohol is not traditionally consumed, like a luncheon. 3. It's rude to invite people to the reception only, when the ceremony isn't restricted to only immediate family. 4. It's rude to invite people to a certain part of the reception only, because you want to see them that day, just without feeding them. Again, host the reception at a time when a sit down meal isn't required, if you don't want to pay for everyone to eat. Your emphasis in your title makes me think that you were either being pre-petulant, or exulting in your rudeness. Either way, you are doing things very rudely, which isn't going to go over very well on the ETIQUETTE board.  It's like going to an animal lovers' forum and talking about how you want to shoot a dog, fr'instance.
Posted by TheBaney[/QUOTE]

I really didnt think this would be my response espesially the awful language! WOW! Gives this website a bad name.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:1abe0060-b568-441c-af66-b8b1e5bf9247">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : You do realize that cohabitation has nothing to do with etiquette, right? 
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

And decreases the likelihood of divorce.

MomoftheBriade

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:1abe0060-b568-441c-af66-b8b1e5bf9247">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : You do realize that cohabitation has nothing to do with etiquette, right? 
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]
No just the morals of the responding.

TheBaney

Can you point out where I used awful language?

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:1314d56e-c362-4403-8561-4622e94700f4">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : I really didnt think this would be my response espesially the awful language! WOW! Gives this website a bad name.
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
You never use foul language do you?

GloriosusEtLiber

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:ce56b3d1-981a-4103-a621-8b4f3db49fc8">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my goodness, that was suppose to be a "u". You have quite the mouthful there. Wow, just who I want to get advice from someone who has a sewer mouth. I apologize for looking for intelligent conversation here. It is all just people with no morals or manners. Calling names especially that one. You should be ashamed!
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
<img id="fullSizedImage" style="width:324px;height:243px;" class="media" src="http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff146/jjoko/scolding.gif" alt="" />

Gabrielle76

I change my vote to troll.

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:ce56b3d1-981a-4103-a621-8b4f3db49fc8">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my goodness, that was suppose to be a "u". You have quite the mouthful there. Wow, just who I want to get advice from someone who has a sewer mouth. I apologize for looking for intelligent conversation here. It is all just people with no morals or manners. Calling names especially that one. You should be ashamed!
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, I do have morals and manners they just <em>clearly</em> differ from yours.  And, while morals are a matter of personal convictions, I am confident that as far as manners go, mine are objectively better than yours. </div><div>
</div><div>And for pity's sake, I didn't call you a name.  I gave you advice on how to avoid looking like "the name."   </div><div>
</div><div>And FTR, I think this is a troll too, but H is still asleep and nothing's on TV so at least this passes the time. </div>

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:ce56b3d1-981a-4103-a621-8b4f3db49fc8">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my goodness, that was suppose to be a "u". You have quite the mouthful there. Wow, just who I want to get advice from someone who has a sewer mouth. I apologize for looking for intelligent conversation here. It is all just people with no morals or manners. Calling names especially that one. You should be ashamed!
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
It's hard to believe you're old enough to have a 20 year old daughter.

TheBaney

Because, StageManager, only people who live their lives according to her "morals" are capable of knowing the rules of etiquette, so only people who didn't co-habitate before marriage can tell her she's being rude...I think?

NOLAbridealmost

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:6475e251-0903-4290-95c1-352bece60a09">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]For the next few months, I'm going to assume all trolls are Lucy or Edie trying to rile people up.
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah I was wondering that too....especially given this poster's preoccupation with "name calling"</div>

Gabrielle76

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:801ab61b-5dbb-4580-a0df-4b27937e8400">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : No just the morals of the responding.
Posted by MomoftheBriade[/QUOTE]
For shame.  You deserve to have your friends and family mock and denigrate you behind your back.  Go forth and enjoy your false sense of moral superiority.  And don't be surprised if your daughter ends up divorced at 22.

Carson386

Registry information does NOT go on the invite! That is for showers only. If a guest is invited to the wedding and would like to ake a phone call to you and they say "I'dlike to get the bride and groom something off their registry, can you tell me where they are registered?" In that case you can inform them, otherwise NO REGISTRY INFO IN THE INVITES! We were invited to a wedding but were told they could only afford so many people at the reception- needless to say we did not go, we were offended, and I don't have much respect for that person anymore. As for living together before marriage- what the heck does that have to do with being rude?! I've lived with my fiance for a few years, we are still being proper with our wedding. Some people may not agree with cohabition before marriage, but it's not "rude".

MomoftheBriade

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:b1647dca-3eb9-4968-b22a-d2eb4d6f77f3">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : And decreases the likelihood of divorce.
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]

That is not true and not allowed in our church.

Carson386

I smell troll.

MomoftheBriade

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_we-are-having-a-cash-bar-we-are-sending-reception-invites-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:85575f50-825e-48ca-a125-aa149cdbee3ePost:9014f0c0-dbcb-4675-9390-fc795721974d">Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: We ARE having a cash bar! & We ARE sending reception invites only! : For shame.  You deserve to have your friends and family mock and denigrate you behind your back.  Go forth and enjoy your false sense of moral superiority.  And don't be surprised if your daughter ends up divorced at 22.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]
So, it is OK to wish bad luck on young ladies(saying my DD will be divorced), it is ok to want me to be unhappy after all of this , it is ok to name call and be mean. But it is NOT ok, to invite DD works pale to the reception only? Please explain where you get this from.