Babies at the wedding

ThaisMota

So, I have two good friends of mine that have babies. By the time of the wedding, the babies will be 7-8 months old. One of them, for sure, is bringing her baby with her. Now, FI's mother told me it's inappropriate to have babies at the wedding and FI agrees with her. My mom, who knows my two friends, told me that if I tell them that they can't bring their babies with them, they will feel offended. Personally, the babies don't bother me. I may be a loud place to bring babies, but I guess that's up to the parents to bring them or not. What do you think?

mwhitson14

Honestly, it's personal preference. There's no etiquette or inappropriate/appropriate. We had babies at our wedding; apparently my nephew screeched during the ceremony but I was so focused on Shane I didn't even notice him.

This is just something to work out between you and your FI.

Noellesmama

Our reception will be kid friendly...about 50 or so kids including my 3 year old daughter. And there will be 3 8 month olds there as well. I have nothing against kids being there...let your friends bring them and if they need to leave early which they will...trust me. They have that option of leaving early, because those babies will need to be fed and put to bed.

Have you thought of hiring a babysitter for your friends? Just a question.

baystateapple

Why are babies inappropriate at a wedding?  I've heard people say that they can be annoying, or distracting, but I haven't heard "inappropriate" before.

If you don't mind them, and your FI doesn't mind them, then it's really not your FMIL's problem.

heyimbren

If your FI really doesn't want babies at the wedding, do take into consideration his views on the topic. It really isn't your FMIL's choice, but your FI does have a choice here. Talk to him privately about it and see how he really feels about it.

You can really go either way on this one, some people prefer child-free weddings and others don't.

Your mom could be right though, some parents are offended when their children are not invited and they may not attend. However, I do think you would be okay to not invite the babies.

tidetravel

Are other kids invited?  If so, it would be VERY rude to say that the babies cannot come. 

Even if you are having an adults only wedding, it is generally recommended that breastfeeding infants are the exception to the "no kids" rule. 

xyrius

I 100% agree with Baystate.  It's up to you and your FI, not FMIL.

Brie2010

We had babies and young kids at our wedding.  It was awesome.  They were well-behaved, fun, and added a lot to the ceremony and reception.  When they got fussy, their parents weren't nitwits and took them out for some quiet time.  The youngest baby came to the dinner part of their reception and then a babysitter (that we recommended when the couple asked) came and took them to a hotel room to bed while mom and dad had a good time.  It was fine.

xyrius

I also want to point out that at 7-8 months old they may still be breastfeeding.  OP, do you know if they are?

Sorry I missed the part about your FI not wanting them there, did he recently change his mind on this?

Also, you mentionned one of your friends is bringing her baby "for sure", have you already invited her and her baby?  It would not be appropriate to uninvite the baby.

waltzingmatilda13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babies-wedding-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:858f9250-0681-403e-ab04-8f375b94a868Post:c825883d-0fb1-43b6-8c2d-d874a492abf7">Re: Babies at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I also want to point out that at 7-8 months old they may still be breastfeeding.  OP, do you know if they are? Sorry I missed the part about your FI not wanting them there, did he recently change his mind on this?<strong> Also, you mentionned one of your friends is bringing her baby "for sure", have you already invited her and her baby?  It would not be appropriate to uninvite the baby.</strong>
Posted by xyrius[/QUOTE]

This. If you already said it was okay it would look pretty bad to go back and change your mind. You can still have no kids if you didn't invite them already, but make the exception for breastfeeding infants.

LuluP82

Agreed with everyone else. Since they're your friends, you can offer to help them find a baby sitter and set up a baby room at the venue, if they're comfortable with that. That's what we're doing. That way, they can check on the babies, and the babies can go to sleep at their regular time and the parents can still have fun. In our case...the parents want to be able to have fun.

ThaisMota

Well, the only children at the wedding will be my flower girl (FI niece, 4 and a half years old) and the two babies. I know that my friend is bringing her baby because she told me that she already bought the baby a cute dress to wear at the wedding. That's how I know she is bringing her. My FI still doesn't want any baby at the wedding, but we are talking about that. Again, the babies don't bother me, but I still have to get to an agreement with my FI.

quotequeen

I already have 3 kids under the age of 2 coming, and may get a couple more, so obviously I don't think it's inappropriate.

kebmtm071605

I think it's a personal decision.  Just realize that if you say no babies, there is a chance your friends will not be able to come.

I will have about a 6-week-old baby at the time of my friend's wedding.  I'm a BM in said wedding, and it is across the country from where I live.  She was one of the first people I told about the baby.  She knows that the only way I can be there is if the baby is there, and she is 100% fine with that.  My two older children will be staying home with my parents though.

banana468

I think you just need to keep in mind that if you exclude the babies, then depending on the circumstances you may be excluding the parents as well.

DH and I will have a baby in early Dec.  Depending on the distance, we may not be able to leave the baby overnight if I can't pump that much.

And even if we can leave the baby, you'll possibly have to leave space either in the bridal suite or another location so that I (or the moms) can pump.  You can't just hold in your milk until you feel like it.  Pumping it or nursing is about as necessary as making sure you go to the bathroom.

FWIW, babies are rarely an issue anywhere.  Your FG is more likely to be a concern.